Already Gone

Already Gone - 5.

Cole Nixon ------------->

Four Years Later
 
  
 
  
 
Waking up, I stretched across the bed. I was alone. I looked at the wedding ring and sighed letting my hand fall onto my face, covering my eyes. When I sat up, I noticed a note taped to my dressing table mirror. 'Mia, gone out. It's going to be a late one don't wait up. Jamie was sleeping when I left.' Great. I'm grateful for the time he's not here. Dreading the moments he comes back.
 
In the last four years, nothing changed. I was constantly made to feel small. If things weren't going his way, he hurt me. Sometimes I felt I deserved it. Today was my wedding anniversary. Congratulations Mia. You've lasted longer than anyone could have guessed.
 
I opened my closet and pulled out some black sweats and a white t-shirt before getting a shower. The water felt good as it splashed over me. It was like it was washing away my troubles.
 
After twenty minutes I climbed out of the shower and dried my hair. I put on light make up before searching for my car keys. When I got downstairs, Dan, a friend of my darling husbands was in the kitchen making a sandwich. "Don't you have a home to go to?" I laughed. Dan was one of the good ones. He knew what was going on and offered to help me out countless times.
 
"Mia, I only stick around for you. How you doing anyway? Not seen you for a while."
 
"I'm good." He raised an eyebrow. "I swear. Where is Ryan anyway? His note was kind of cryptic."
 
"If I knew, I would tell you. He wasn't here when I got here. The door was open and his car was gone. Jamie was watching TV in the lounge. What are you doing today?"
 
"Thanks for watching her. I think we'll go to see Clarice and Cole. Maybe do shopping. Maybe not." I smiled. He hugged me and told me to call him if I need him. The usual speech.
 
"Momma!" Jamie shouted and ran to me.
 
"Hey princess, shall we go and pay a visit to Aunt Clarice?" She nodded. I took her upstairs and dressed her in a pink summer dress. She looked so much like her dad.
 
The same blonde hair. The same green eyes.
 
When we got in the car I passed Jamie my cell. When she was three, I taught her how to call Clarice and Cole. Just in case there was an emergency.
 
"Aunt Clarice, guess who? How did you know?" I looked at her and smiled. "Me and mommy are coming to see you. We're at the store with the elephant outside. Ok love you bye!" She closed my cell and passed it back.
 
When we pulled up outside their house, I tried to call Ryan. 'Hey it's Ryan. You know what to do.' I decided against leaving him a message. I didn't want to cause an argument. Jamie unbuckled herself and waited until I said it was ok to get out. Cole was out front washing his car.
 
"Jamie Rae Cooper, show me the love." He dropped his sponge in the bucket and dried his hands. She hugged and kissed him. "So if mom says it's cool, maybe you could stay here tonight?" Cole looked up at me. "Trey is next door with his dad." Jamie turned to me with wide eyes.
 
"Yes ok. Go say hi to Clarice then go play okay?" She ran inside. I turned to Cole, knowing what's coming next.
 
"Where is he?"
 
"How the hell do I know?" I locked the car door. "Either with the guys or..."
 
"Someone else." I frowned. He was right. Ryan was unfaithful all the time. He thought I was stupid. He always came back to me though.
 
"Go inside. I think she's on the phone. I'll be in soon." I walked inside. Jamie was drinking a juice box I heard Clarice talking in the kitchen.
 
"God it's so good to hear from you... I know we heard... God I'm so sorry. How's the family holding up? Cole and I are going to be there... Um, well things, are still the same. Yeah I know." I cleared my throat and she turned around in surprise. "Um, she's actually here. I got to go. Yeah honey, we love you too."
 
"Hey." I smiled as I took a seat at the table. "Who do we love?"
 
"Um, I was um, Cole's cousin." I glanced up at the picture of me, Clarice and Jamie taken when she was born and smiled.
 
It was a nightmare of a day. Actually the whole pregnancy was a nightmare. I planned to tell him I was pregnant. But he called with 'sorry my car broke down and I'm not coming.' The next day I told Clarice and Cole. That night I told Ryan. He said he'd take care of us. I scoffed at the memory.
 
Clarice smiled and poured me a cup of coffee. "So, you terrible liar. Who were you talking to?"
 
"Don't freak out okay." She looked serious. "You remember Ashton? James's cousin?" I nodded. "It was him."
 
"Why would I freak out?" Inside I was freaking out. I freaked out every time I heard James's name. Memories always came flooding back. No one mentioned his name much anymore. It was still hard for me. I had Jamie to think of. My beautiful baby girl. She was the one bit of light in my life. The only link to James was her name, Jamie. His nickname.
 
"Did you say anything?" I casually asked. Clarice slammed her cup down and I jumped a mile.
 
"See you're freaking out. No I didn't mention anything." She closed the kitchen door so Jamie couldn't hear. "I respect your wishes, even though it's completely stupid. He has a right to know."
 
"Clarice, he was the one that left. He was the one that made no effort to call me. He was the one that broke my heart." I sighed and rested my head in my hands. My cell vibrated in my pocket. Ryan.
 
"Where are you?" I tried not to sound angry with him.
 
"Does it matter? Dan said you've gone out. Where are you?"
 
"With Jamie, Clarice and Cole. So where are you?"
 
"None of your damn business. Mia What the fuck, twenty questions?."
 
"You are my husband! I have a right to know where you are!"
 
"Fuck you Cooper." he spat my name like I was trash. He put the phone down. Over the years I've grown a little braver.

Over the phone anyway...
 
Clarice looked at me with a raised eyebrow. I raised a hand in dismissal.
 
"Not a word."
 

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I watched Jamie play with trey out in the garden. It was cute. Trey’s dad moved next to Clarice a week after she moved in two years ago. Jamie and trey had been best friends since then. I couldn't help but smile watching them. "Mamma Mia. Long time no see!" a pair of arms threw themselves around my waist. I flinched and the arms disappeared. I turned to find Ashton, James's cousin.
 
"Fucking asshole! You scared the crap out of me!" I screamed at him. He stepped back, eyes wide in shock.
 
"I'm sorry Mia. I didn't mean to scare you." he put his arms out for a hug. "Forgive me?" I sighed and stepped into his arms. Moments like this were uncommon for me. Ryan usually hugged me after he'd hit me. And the hug came the morning after. Every now and then I would get a hug in front of Jamie.
 
"Mia? Are you listening?" I snapped out of my daze.

"Hmm? Oh yeah sure."

"Great. We'll be here at around eight tomorrow."

"We?"

"I knew it Mia, yes we. Me you Cole and Clarice. Bring pizza." He kissed my cheek as he ran past me to Jamie.
 

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"Momma!" Jamie woke me up screaming the next morning. I jumped out of bed and ran to the lounge to find Jamie in Cole's arms. I froze when I saw them. Cole's face turned from anger as he looked at me. "Momma? What's wrong?"
 
I turned and looked in the mirror on the wall. The only thing not destroyed. My left eye was twice its size and purple. There was a hand print on my cheek.
 
"Mia? What the hell happened?" Tears formed in my eyes. Jamie struggled, trying to get to me but Cole held her tighter.

He didn't mean it..." I whispered.
 

When Ryan finally came home the previous night, he was high and drunk. I was watching a DVD of Jamie's first birthday party when he lost it. "You want perfect James Shaw to come and rescue you? Huh? Have a fucking fairytale ending for you and that bastard child?"
 
I'd slapped him when he mentioned Jamie. No one insults my daughter. "Don't fucking say another word about Jamie!" I screamed back at him.
 
It was then his fist made contact with my face. He slapped me a few times. I ran and locked myself in the bedroom, listening to him smash the place up. It was over in minutes. The door slammed shut. I peeked out of the window to see him get in a car.
 
Standing here now with Jamie and Cole, I broke down in tears. "Where is he?" I shrugged my shoulders. "When will he come back?"

"Couple of days. When he knows the swelling has gone. I was going to call you. See if Jamie can stay tonight. And apologize for not coming tonight."

"Pack some stuff. I'll grab Jamie’s stuff. You are coming with me."