Walking Away

Dysgraphia

Raven

"Okay, let's do this." I set up my computer and a couple notebooks on the kitchen table. Johnathan sat down next to me, with Ali safely sleeping in the guest bedroom. I had the radio on already, and he didn't seem to mind, so I didn't worry about it.

We worked quietly, each writing about different aspects of the boat. I was taking down the ending of the revolt, and what happened with the courts. Johnathan was researching the events that led up to the revolt, and any statistics he could find.

I kept my paper angled so that he wouldn't look over and see the mess that was my writing.

"How far along are you?" I asked. I'd pretty much gone over everything I could find, and now I was just bored. Two and a half hours of notes? Not fun.

"Honestly, I don't think I can find much else. I may have overlapped with your information a bit." He put his pen down. "Maybe we should start combining them now."

"Sounds good. Do you want to take a break first? I've seriously got to go to the bathroom." I hadn't wanted to be the first to break, so I'd basically been holding it for an hour.

"Yeah, actually, I've been wanting to check on Ali. Start up again after?" I agreed, so we both got up. He headed towards the guest room, since Ali still hadn't come out. She must have been really tired.

I splashed some water on my face while I was in there, stalling a bit. All the writing made my head hurt, and I knew the quality of writing had gone down as the quantity went up. 

It had gone from slightly messy but decently legible to an incredible mess of what might be considered code.

I wasn't prepared for the panic that came when I walked into the kitchen to see Johnathan holding my paper.

"What are you doing with that?" That sounded harsh. I cleared my throat. "I mean, uh, hi."

Crap. I braced myself for the return of Cameron.

Johnathan looked confused. "I was just seeing what you'd written down..it doesn't matter. I'm sorry, I should've waited for you to get back."

This would be easier if he wasn't so nice. Now I felt like crap.

"No, it's okay. I just wasn't expecting it." I sat down, fiddling with my necklace. It was one my mom had given to me, a locket with a picture of her and my uncle inside. "So, uh..so."

Well, there went all my knowledge of the English language.

"So...?" Johnathan still looked a little confused. I suppose most people don't panic over history notes.

I cleared my throat. "I know it's bad. It's okay."

He shook his head. "It isn't. The information is actually really thorough."

I waited for the inevitable. The other shoe had to be dropping soon. But it didn't.

Which meant I made the whole thing awkward by just staring at him in disbelief. Where was the laughter? The mocking? The insults to my obviously low intelligence?

Johnathan stayed patient for a while. But I guess he got tired of being treated like a museum exhibit.

"What's wrong?" He started to look concerned. "Raven? What is it?"

"Why aren't you saying it?" I asked. This isn't how it goes.

"I forgot my lines?" Johnathan tried. When it fell flat, he switched his approach. "What am I supposed to say, exactly?"

"That it's a mess?" I answered. I winced, gesturing at the sheet of paper he was still holding. "That you can't believe I even made it to high school, that you wish you hadn't switched partners?" I listed the most common responses.