Under the spotlight

Chapter 56: Never enough

You should start the song after the first ★

It was 8 in the morning and I had just ran out of the boys' house. I had to get ready and I hadn't been in my dorm for the last week. So it wasn't a surprise when I entered and found the whole dorm decorated with small Christmas ornaments. There were two socks hanging from the TV because we didn't have a chiminea and a small plastic tree on the living room's table. I knew Sarah wasn't going to be awake yet but I still went to my room to get ready.

You know Christmas Eve is always special but today I had something else to do that made me feel even more excited. I couldn't believe it was today, when had time passed? This last six months had been one big roller coaster but now that I was actually here it felt surreal. I was nervous and all tingly with excitement.

When I woke up I had found myself on the couch with the boys sleeping around me. I had had to be very quiet while getting out in hopes not to wake them. I had written a note and left it on the table for them to know where I went.

I was so nervous that I couldn't stand still. I had to do something, cook, clean, even write. There, waiting for me in my first drawer, was my therapy's diary. Every page blank, I hadn't written on it since the day I finished therapy. I had forgotten I even had it. But right now as I opened the first page and grabbed a pen, every word flew to the paper.

I wrote and wrote everything that had happened this last few months, everything that still hurt a bit and everything that had made me extremely happy. Halloween, Charles, nightmares, Our vacation, the first time we said 'I love you', the accident, getting better, rehearsal, my feelings towards each of them, Dominique's recovery, e v e r y t h i n g. I didn't leave one thing untouched.

By the time I had nothing left to write, it had been four hours. My hand ached and my neck was sore from hunching down. The pen rolled over and down the mattress, leaving me alone with my 50 pages of diary. I had left my soul and heart on those. I saved it back in the drawer. For a moment I stared at the nightstand, amazed by how much I had kept inside. It was like I finally let go...

(...)

Sebastian had messaged me saying I had to go to the Grand Stage. So I went as quickly as possible. Now I was going down the stairs under the stage where everyone was starting to get ready. The ceremony didn't start until 6 pm but we had to go down a literal red carpet and I hadn't even known until now.

"What!?" I sounded crazy surprised. "Why didn't anyone tell me beforehand? And what do you mean with photographers and reporters?"

"Look," Tessa said as if she could simply brush it off. "This is the most important Gala in the year, many important people will be here. That includes the press," She walked past me, her purple dress trailing behind her, and I had to restraint myself from punching her in the face.

In that moment Sebastian appeared from his changing room. He was half dressed and in the middle of his hairstyle. I walked towards him and I groaned loudly to which he laughed.

"It's not funny, why do you think it's funny?" I punched his chest.

"Come on, you still have a couple hours to get ready. I'm sure Maia can help you,"

As if summoning her, Maia appeared too in the hallway. She was wearing a stunning yellow dress and her hair fell in beautiful cascades behind her. In that moment I realized the dresses matched the sins' colors. Maia walked towards us and she held her dress to not step on it. I knew well damn that she was always perfect, but now...she just seemed like a greek goddess.

"You look like a dear in front of headlights," She looked down at me, her heels made her taller than usual. "I assume you didn't know about the press,"