Under the spotlight

Chapter 32: Desperate

Thursday I was kicked from Ballet class again. I had tried to tell Katarina I understood what she told me but it didn't convince her. And although she had screamed at me not to come again on Friday I came anyway. Everyone had shocked faces when I entered the classroom and when I saw Katarina's expression I was petrified. I didn't want to be there anymore.

"What are you doing here?" She asked slowly.

"I..." I started but couldn't continue.

"No I know why you're here, you're just stubborn and you can't do what you're told," She walked dangerously towards me. "You are a little girl who thinks she can do whatever the hell she wants," Her face was towering over me. "You are Agnes, the youngest to perform at the Christmas Gala," She narrowed her eyes. "Well let me tell you something Agnes...if you can't follow my assignments and corrections then forget about dancing ANY number in the Gala. If I've let you practice the dance with Sebastian it was because of him, not you," She pointed to the door. "LEAVE!"

I glanced at everyone in shock, my eyes wide open and my heart breaking with each second. Sebastian had gazed away to the floor while Maia stared at me with pity. My eyes were watering but I refused to spill the tears, instead I turned around and stormed out of the classroom. There were whispers following me as I sat down on a bench outside. A couple of minutes after Maia was coming towards me. She was still in her lesson clothes when she sat on the bench with me.

"You have some real nerve," She joked but my face was still serious. "Okay, okay, not to joke about it,"

"What do you want? Why don't you leave me alone?" I spitted full of hatred. Why did she have to rub it in my face like that?

"Oh stop it there, don't give me attitude, I'm just trying to help!" She defended herself. "You helped me that night before the accident and I heard you put Sebastian in his place, I'm not trying to do anything here," She pointed at both of us.

"Well I don't need your pity," I took my eyes out of her.

"I'm not Agnes, I know that," She rolled her eyes. "Look Katarina didn't let me come here, I decided to come anyways, are you going to make me regret that?"

I didn't answer. I just glared at the floor, maybe it would break if I stared at it for long enough. I wanted to punch something and make my knuckles bleed. But there was nothing I could really do, oh no, I had to conform with sitting like this doing absolutely NOTHING.

"You know? You shouldn't be trying to fight Katarina, you should be trying to find that envy or lust. Where? I don't know, that's your question to answer," She stood up. "I'm going to go back now, but think about that for a moment,"

As she said, she left me and went back inside. Anger filled every inch of my blood. I had to clench my jaw and sigh with frustration. I didn't want to do anything reckless in this state, so Instead I did the only thing I knew was going to calm me. I took my phone out and went to press Nikolai's number. Before I did so I saw my granny's number and maybe it was an impulse or a need but I called her.

"Agnes!" The chirpy voice of granny made me feel instantly calmer.

"Hi..." I said almost whispering. She didn't answer right away, she had probably senseI wasn't feeling so well. "I miss you so so much,"

"I miss you too, is there something wrong?" She asked carefully. I could picture her, sitting on the sofa where the blue phone was, her eyebrows furrowed and her lime green nightgown.

"I...I- no," I admitted. "I'm not dancing how I'm supposed to and...and my teacher is very hard on me, I- I don't know if I can do it," My voice broke with each sentence and I concentrated on not spilling my tears.