Avengers broken

Ch. 44 "Racing thoughts"

                                            Hayden POV 

                                             Nightmare 

The rain poured down heavily as The man ran through the streets, looking over his shoulder bumping into the very few people that were walking along the side walk, 

The puddles he ran through splashed as I slowly followed the frantic man, following him from the roof tops, 

The man stumbled over the few items that are on the side walk, like a big metal public trash can and an empty fruit stand, 

my shadow loomed off of the roof top onto the side walk the man looked up in a panic and ran faster, the lightning, light up the sky, as the thunder rolled, 

The man cut down an alley only to find a brick wall, the man was trapped, I jumped off the roof, the man spun around just to see me at the end of the alley, 

"Please no," He said 

I slowly walked towards the man, 

His breathing uneven and ragged, 

"Please, I only left HYDRA because of my family," The man pleaded, 

I hear the voice in my com, 

"Terminate," He siad in my ear

I pull the pistol out of my waste band, and pull the trigger , imbedding a bullet right between the eyes, the utter fear in the man's eyes as he falls dead to the cold wet ground, the blood that spattered from the gun shot, the echoing of the sound of the gun shot, 

                                           End Nightmare 

I gasped awake, sweat covering my forehead, my hair sticking to my forehead, my breathing uneven and ragged, 

Trying regain my breathing from the memory, I looked around, I was in the room I was in last time when we stayed at Clint's house, 

We arrived late last night so we just went straight to bed, I looked at the clock, 2AM, great three hours of sleep, I thought 

I got out of bed quietly, I got dressed, I opened the window, and climbed out not wanting to wake anyone, 

I decided I would walk through the woods, just to keep my demons at bay, I thought as I walked 

I was hoping being back here, I wouldn't have these nightmares well more like the memories of what HYDRA made me do, I remembered that night, I tried so hard not to do it, not to pull the trigger I tried to resist but I couldn't, I couldn't fight the device that was on my forehead, 

The utter fear of all the victims I took, will forever haunt me, I am more than broken at this point, I'm shattered, unfixable, an unrecognized shell, 

Sure when I first met Clint and the avengers I was no angle, I was just a broken girl, angry at the world, and to block the pain I held within myself I resulted in anger, 

But now, I don't know what I am, I guess you could say I'm damaged beyond repair, I thought 

A girl who's parents hate her for just her existence, that created a device to break your will, your right to choose, your right to do anything, I thought 

And now look at me, I'm right back at the beginning, maybe even worse, using anger to mask the pain that is hidden deep within, I thought 

I leaned against a tree crossing my arms, and crossing my ankles, 

"What a mess," I mumbled 

Maybe I should tell them what really is going on through this mess of a mind?..... 

I shook my head, 

No, that's not my style, I thought 

What would that prove anyway, 

Oh look we hired a kid avenger who is so broken she can't even fight off her inner demons, I thought 

To see the look of utter pity on their faces, no thanks, I thought 

I would rather kiss a toilet, I thought 

I see that the sun was now high in the sky, I let out a frustrated sigh, 

I started my walk back to the house, knowing I'm gonna get bombarded with where were you's lately Clint has become how do I put this, 

lets just say he freaks out if I so much as almost walk on a piece of glass, 

It's becoming tiresome, I thought 

I climbed the tree, and jumped through the window, I shut the window and turned around, to see Clint standing there with his arms crossed 

"Busy night?" He asked 

Great I thought