Lie to Me // Harry Styles A.U.

#14 HARRY

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The shuffling of the papers and the light hum of the boys talking is the background music to my thoughts. I had a lot of fun with Blake last night, she kept surprising me. Her view on love and reactions to the little things that most would consider 'lovey-dovey' things were my favorite part about her, as of right now.

Out of all the girls I've fucked or seen more than once, Blake was the only one I actually saw myself in. Maybe not the bad parts, hopefully not the bad parts, but her and I are undeniably similar. When she looked at me with those enchanting mellow eyes of hers and told me she didn't believe in love, everything around me melted away. Almost every girl I have been with has gotten attached or 'fell in love with me' and it would just piss me off. You were hot, I fucked you, maybe more than once and that's it. I'm sorry no one else made you feel that way but it was strictly physical. And after the threesomes, the girls would come crawling to me afterward instead of Jax, which would piss him off. So, I guess some girls being too clingy had its perks.

But with Blake, she makes me feel things. Things I've never felt or haven't felt in a long time. She is so enthralling, I'm a magnet to her skin. I want to be around her at all times, hear her voice, smell her musky-vanilla scent, feel every inch of her soft skin under my calloused fingertips. I don't know what she's done with me, maybe she's pulled some sort of mind-game on me with her psychology background but I am all for it.

And the scariest part is, as much as I want to constantly be surrounded by her, the sexual thoughts barely ever come out. They creep into my brain late at night, in the shower, or when she does something to trigger it, but it's never my first thought with her. She vibrates such dominant and badass energy but something about her makes her seem so pure in my eyes. I want to be so delicate with her, lightly touching her because I'm scared her fair skin will crumble at my roughness. Softly kissing her because I didn't want to violate the light shade of pink in her lips with my dark, sinful ones.

Just being in her presence makes me feel like I am endangering her pretty aura, but it's so addicting to ruin good things. I know I'm not a good guy and she is too good for me to keep around, but I can't help myself. I didn't think I was going to get so defensive when she joked about kissing Eli. I never thought of her being with other people before then but when she said that, it enraged me. I did my best to keep it cool, I was surrounded by the city lights and Blake's curious eyes so it wasn't that hard to keep it down. But I never want to see her with any other guy, not as long as I'm 'seeing' her. I have always been territorial with the women I interact with, whether or not we were official. For example, if we've had sex more than twice and we are planning on doing it again, I don't want you to be sleeping around with other men. One, that's unsanitary for both of us, and two, I'm fucking you. When we're done for good, you're free to look for someone better than me; in bed at least.

I am aware of my selfishness and at this point, and I am going to let it take over. I want to see Blake again and I want to keep her around. I don't know what I'm gonna do if this goes on for longer than a month, though, especially if we don't end up fucking anytime soon. I've had my share of one night stands, multiple nightstands, and also some flings that went on for some time, but I've never waited longer than three days to get the deed done. And it's already been much longer than three days with Blake.

I announce to the boys that I'm going to go on a smoke break, knowing I'll call Blake out there as well. I didn't have my pack or lighter with me so I used some of my pickpocketing skills to my advantage.

I step outside the newly renovated building and breath in the sawdust-filled air. It was 10 a.m. and the sun was shining down on the city, announcing that it's going to be a great day. I pull out my phone and simultaneously hit the Juul I borrowed from Myles. The tobacco flavor pod did not give real cigarettes any justice, this tasted disgusting.