i can't say i'm in love // ross lynch

chapter twenty-eight

2.5 Years Later (January 2018)

Audrey POV

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY SLUT!" I hear Faith yell as she jumps onto my bed, passing a shot glass to my lips. I gulp down the warm acid liquid. I scrunch my nose at the feeling and laugh.

"That is one way to wake up." I shake my head, rubbing my eyes, getting the sleep out.

I am finally 21. These past couple of years have flown by. Ever since the breakup, life has moved pretty quickly. It didn't take too long for Ross and Courtney to get together, which led to the contact with Ross and his family to die off. Every now and then, I get texts from Rydel and Stormie, but that is it.

After my 19th birthday, I moved back to Brooklyn. I needed a change and comfort, so my old friend Faith and I moved into a little apartment in the centre of the city. I also got a new job, working at my auntie's foster home for children, which I have worked at now for 2 years.

My two older brothers have also moved out. James works with a contracting business, just out of L.A. and Dylan got a girlfriend, so they are currently backpacking through Europe together. In terms of my younger brothers, Liam graduated a couple of months ago and the other two are still at school. We have all grown up, kind of.

The boys aren't close with the Lynch's either because of the breakup. In fact, I don't think they have talked at all. It really did change the way we lived.

I was miserable. I felt worthless and a piece of shit. Without my brothers pushing me to do something and move on, I would still be in my bed crying over what could have happened. I am so grateful to have gotten the opportunities and life lessons from these past years but I definitely do think about how Ross and I could have ended up.

I imagine that I would have just forgiven him and moved out. We would have travelled around Europe and all those photos that Ross and Courtney took together, I would have replaced her. We would have finished tour together and I would stay by his side as he continued filming, performing and writing. But we didn't and I have accepted that.

I still support him, behind the curtains. I listened to their new album, watched their music videos and Ross' movies. I just haven't physically or verbally been there for him.

I noticed that at the end of last year Ross and Courtney broke up. Some reason I thought he would come running to me afterwards but he never did. Didn't even reach out.

In terms of my love life, I had another boyfriend last year for 3 months but he didn't work out. Every now and then I go on dates but over all nothing much.

"Oi. You have to get up because the squad is getting brunch in 30 minutes." Faith interrupts my thoughts and strips my duvet off me. I groan and grab my phone from the bedside table.

family chat

dad: HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEETIE!
liam: love you audrey! have a good day
brad: happy birthday! I MISS YOU!!!
dylan: surely we get wasted together soon
james: have a killer night tonight and safe stage xx
max: as if you are 21...

I miss having my boys around all the time.

audrey: thank you everyone! i miss you guys too!! and i will stay safe JAMES xx

single sluts (who aren't single anymore) chat

cole: happy birthday. we are finally all of age!!!!
ray: that's my bestie. who else ready so get audrey smashed?
dustin: ooh me!! happy birthday hoe
audrey: thanks babes. see you soon x
faith: get out of bed!
audrey: fine! but make sure grayer is wearing clothes
cole: and if he isn't send me pics ;)
faith: definitely not. try and find a guy yourself