Say My Name and I'll Be There

Chapter 31

Only on the eve of the Lantern Rite, several days before the celebration, did Xiao come to appreciate the hours of hard work you were putting into practicing music.

He had slaughtered a band of mitachurls, hilichurls, and lawachurls near Lihua Pool when he fell into darkness.  He collapsed to his knees, struggling for breath, spots filling his vision beneath the mask.  While he had dealt with karmic debt for two thousand years, this time had to be one of the worst falters.  He knelt beneath the somber moon that bore witness to his shortcoming.

The waves of pain drove him mad and the voices drowned out the singing of the crickets and frogs.  Xiao clutched at his chest in an effort to rid himself of the agony as he wondered if it was finally his time to die and join the fallen yakshas.  His mask disintegrated as he fell to all fours.  It's fine, just breathe, he reminded himself.

It was then when he heard the tune.  

"B-Barbatos?"  The yaksha groaned despairingly as he forced himself to raise his head toward the sound.  He was being saved by the wind god for a second time--No.  That's her, he realized when he recognized the all-too familiar tune.  But the way you were playing this time...had he only heard a fraction of your practice sessions? You carried the notes so well compared to last time--

Xiao rolled over so he lie on his back, eyes meeting the glints of the stars that shone down upon him.  It was like the pain had knocked the wind out of him.  No matter.  At least he would die listening to you.  The idea was peaceful to think about.

...miss...love you...

Your faint prayers that accompanied the moonsong somehow broke through the crowded shouting of the damned and eased the heavy knot in his stomach while he gasped for air.  The tune continued to build until Xiao could only compare your talent to that of the wind archon.  It was beautiful, soft, and it fit you perfectly despite your stubborn personality that was accentuated by the harbinger's shenanigans.

The image brought a faint smile to his lips, the expression slowly widening as you played on.  Your selfless nature; the need to protect a yaksha from harm's way...Your daring eyes when you butt heads with Childe...The honey-sweet grin you reserved only for Xiao and Xiao alone.  It was  the way you carried yourself in battle, the way you interacted with strangers.  How and when you prayed to him.  Your light humming accompanied your music.

Archons, you were remarkably stunning in every way imaginable.  The yaksha failed to notice how big his smile was as a few of his tears slid down the sides of his face.  It was his own longing for you that manifested and whirled around in his chest.  Beautiful, he thought as the music continued.  So, so beautiful.  It was as if the music described yourself.  For how could he give up and die now, after falling for you?  Maybe...just maybe...Xiao allowed himself to sit in the fluffy cloud of human 'compassion' as he listened to you play.  He wouldn't dare call the emotion for what it truly was.  Not now.  Not yet.  You had to understand something before he could allow himself to love you.  Er, to care for you.  Y-yes.  That's it.  Xiao refocused his attention on your music to avoid thinking any deeper on the subject.

Yet though his mind listened to your moonsong, his heart entertained the possibility of finally admitting his lo--er, compassion for you.

He didn't notice that the pain had long faded, that the spots in his vision had cleared and that the voices of the vanquished silenced themselves.  He drifted to sleep right there in the middle of the dirt road as you played into the night, and for the first time in a long time, he slept with mind and body in peace. 

................................

"Morning, Mezzetin," Childe greeted you with two mugs of hot chocolate in his hands.  He gave one to you before indulging in his while he leaned against your door.  "Sleep well?"