Unbreak My Heart (18+, ManxMan)

Chapter 15 Everybody Hurts

Chapter 15

Finn

"Nico look at the stars tonight, they're thousands of them," I said as we left the dining room to go out on deck.  I rushed out and was amazed at the evening sky.  I pulled my sketch book out of my messenger bag, which is always with me and sat down in a chair and began to sketch some of the swirls the sunset was making, I'd have to just remember the colours, but as long as I got down the basic movement, I was good.  This was going to be my next painting.  "It almost reminds me of the sky in Edvard Munch's The Scream, or some of his other less dramatic paintings," I observed as Nico walked up behind me.

"Or Van Gogh's Starry Night," he added.  "It is beautiful…it's gotten chilly, I'll go get us some sweaters.  I'll be right back."

"Okay, thanks."  I kept sketching out as many details as I could and a few minutes later Nico came back wearing a midnight blue sweater and carrying another for me.  It was a dark green, light cashmere sweater, just warm enough without being too heavy…and the soft, luxurious cashmere, very Nico I thought to myself.  It even smelled like him, a hint of his favourite cologne mixed with his own masculine scent that I loved.  Oh god, why won't my brain just shut up.

"Thanks," I said once I had pulled it over my head.

"I brought your journal too," he said, putting the book on the table next to me.  He sat down in one of the sofas nearby and looked up at the sky I was sketching.

The journal made me think of some of the questions I'd had since Declan and Ajax first told me Nico had left.

"Nico, why exactly did you choose that time, to…leave.  Was it what happened at the club…or…what exactly."

"It was a combination of things; what you went through after…what you saw…"

"Yeah, but that wasn't your fault...Ajax said you were drugged."  Nico's face dropped and the pain and anguish was so evident I could feel it from my seat.  "I…I'm sorry, Nico, I should have brought that up." He shook his head like it didn't matter, but I could tell it did. 

I had more questions and thought if I was ever going to ask, now was the time.  "Will you tell me the truth…"  His eyes shot up immediately.

"I told you I wouldn't lie to you anymore."

"Did Declan say something to you, to get you to leave…to get you to leave me with him?"  Nico's face paled and I knew my answer already. It took him a long time to answer as he seemed to try to figure out what to say.

"I don't want to come between you and Declan, he and Jaime took care of you."

"There is no me and Declan.  I have a relationship with Jaime, but Declan and I barely spoke the last year I was in New York.  I don't even want him at my opening next month, Jaime and baby Daisy are flying in, but I asked Jaime to come without Declan."

"Are you sure about that?  I mean, if it's because of me, I could stay back."

"No, Nico," I sighed, "It's because of things that happened between Declan and I, he and I don't see eye to eye on most things and our relationship just turned toxic.  Besides, I want you to be there more than anyone.  If it weren't for you, I never would have been painting in the first place."  The tension in Nico's face relaxed, but I still wanted the truth about Declan's involvement.

"Please tell me the truth about Declan, did he tell you to leave me?"

"He did what he thought was best for you.  When he found out about us…and what happened…he…he didn't give me any choice Finn.  He insisted I leave and wouldn't even let me say goodbye."  Nico paused and I stayed silent, Cynthia always used that trick on me to get me to spill all of my guts.  "Declan said he would call the police if I didn't leave.  That wouldn't have been good for either of us, I thought I was doing what would hurt you the least."