Unbreak My Heart (18+, ManxMan)

Finn's Journal January - December 2015

January 1, 2015

Dear Diary,

I don't really have much to say today that I didn't say last night, but I just wanted to make my first entry of 2015...with the new change at the top.

My goals for 2015:

-Make friends

-Draw and Paint again

-Be happy so that Jaime doesn't have to worry so much about me anymore...or Chris or Benji

-Catch up in school so I can still graduate in June

Finn

-------------------------

January 18, 2015

Dear Diary,

I completed a painting today that wouldn't make the person looking at it want to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge.  That's a good sign right?

My teacher really liked it and asked me to put it in the school art show that they're having at the end of the month.  I told him I would, I mean, I don't really care one way or the other, but it would make Jaime proud to come and see it, so I will.

With the new semester I also signed up for a beginner's sculpting class.  I don't know if it's my thing, but I thought it would be fun and after getting to know Elliott I thought I'd give something new a try.  I'm going to go visit him this weekend to tell him about it, and to get out of the house.  I'm meeting Elliott and David at a coffee shop across from his building and then maybe hang out with them up in David's studio for a while.  He's going to introduce me to his brother Blake and his little sister if she decides to take the train in for the weekend.  I think Declan probably asked him to invite me for a visit.  I get that he wants what's best for me, but sometimes Declan thinks that his way is the only way and it gets frustrating.  I wish he was more like Jaime, just be there for me, but not constantly nag or pressure me.  At least I have Jaime, he's my mama.  Ha!  I love to tease him that way, but he is.  He makes me breakfast and dinner and sneaks treats in my bag for school.  He loves to take care of me.  I think he would love to adopt kids with Declan, but I can tell that Declan's not so sure about it yet.  Maybe I've turned him off fatherhood! :)

Finn

---------------------------------------

March 7, 2015

Happy Birthday Dad.  I miss you so much.  There's so much I wish I could say to you...I love you and think about you every day.

Wow, I haven't written in a while, I've actually been really busy catching up at school.  I still had a lot of work to finish from last semester to get all my credits, so I've been staying late and basically working my ass off.  It's been good though, keeping busy has kept my mind off...other things.  Declan's letting me go to and from school on my own now too.

Anyway, in honour of your birthday, I'll make today's entry to you.

Dear Dad,  

So yeah, school is okay.  Besides all the extra work I've actually been a little more involved too.  Talking to my teachers and even some kids.  There's this one group of kids that have been really nice to me.  They asked me to sit at their table on Friday, but I didn't really feel like it because I was thinking about it being your birthday today so I sat at an empty table on the other side of the cafeteria.  A few minutes later they all picked up their lunches and came to my table.  One of them, Henry, said I didn't have to talk to them, but they wanted to sit with me anyway.  It was weird, but kind of cool.  They all sat down and just ate their lunch and talked, I sat at the end and ate my lunch and pretended I wasn't listening, but I really was.  Henry looked at me a few times, but he blushed when I caught him.  That made me smile.