𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 '𝟗𝟔 ; 𝐝. 𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐟𝐨𝐲 ✓

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐲-𝐭𝐰𝐨

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Estelle Evelyn Armstrong,

My goodness, there are so many unspoken words I wish I could've told your beautiful soul.

To say the very least, I am utterly shattered. You'll most certainly never read this, nor will I see your remarkable face once more, but God, have my words become scarce this time that I have spent without you, my star. The further I attempt to create even a slight statement that comes even somewhat near to how I genuinely feel, the more the endless lump in my throat consumes my words. Now, I am ready to speak my unspoken truth about my life with you, and the life we could've had if it weren't for the foolish segregation between the good and evil forces in the Wizarding World. My attempt to speak on these things has miserably failed me, so my last hope is to rely on my quill and the stationary sitting before me.

I wish I would've brought myself to tell you. While I was one of those mutant creatures between childhood and teenage years, my adolescent mind was far to timid to understand the power my words could've done. I blame myself for being too scared of what you'd think, and if you'd deny me. Because why would the gorgeous girl that everyone adored ever fall for the hostile rascal? If I would've told you, earlier, just a year or two earlier, we would've had more time, you would've had more time, because bloody hell, Estelle! You were only seventeen. If I had told you earlier, you wouldn't have be treated any less than the unquestionably astounding girl that you were. If I would've told you earlier, that stinging in my heart would've been relieved.

Do you remember? That sweltering summer day? 1985 I think it was, I'm not completely sure. But my mother had informed me that her and father's friends had moved in right next to us, and their daughter, Estelle, was a wizard just like me. I was only two months and twenty six days older than you, but it was something I'd always tease you about. You had come up to my front door, and I heartily hurried up to see you. You clung to your mothers leg, and hid behind it shyly. I never understood just why you were so reluctant, perhaps because five-year-olds never knew much better. We met, and I began obsessing over your dazzling eyes. God, those were all I talked about.

That summer day when we were only five was the day I had fallen in love with you, but I didn't know what it was yet, because I was still so little.

You and I, we went from there. You were my best buddy, my only friend. I remember when we were six, making a "mud empire" after it had rained. My mother was infuriated because we ran back into the house, trailing mud through the floors. At the age of seven, I remember when you broke your arm on my swing. I was pushing you way too high, and you went flying off. Repulsive of young little me to laugh. Age eight, we would play hide and seek around the manor. I would say immature words to reveal your hiding spot with your sweet little giggle. There wasn't one of those words I could say that wouldn't make you erupt into laughter. At the age of nine, I remember on a sunny Spring day, we were talking about kissing for some silly reason. You gave me a kiss on the cheek, and it became sort of a game between us. We eagerly ran up to our parents and played our little kissing game. Both sets of parents looked genuinely mortified, but erupted into laughter. Age ten, we were absolutely the closest we had ever been throughout all the years. There's not one memory I could think of from that time because every little thing we did created a vague memory drilled into my young mind.

And at eleven, when we had first went to Hogwarts. As you stepped onto the Hogwarts Express at Platform 9 ¾, I concluded that after all those years we had spent together, I had fallen for you. Hard. Younger me hadn't even known either. But if I'm being completely honest, I feel like attending Hogwarts tore us apart. As the years went on as we went, the more and more we got torn apart from each other. My attitude completely switched from a sweet, young, innocent boy to an evil prick, who no one wanted to be around, especially not you. The thing that transformed me into the monster I was, was my parents. They went through a rough bump in their marriage, which rubbed off on me due to their constant fighting. Everyone began to avoid me besides my two evil friends, Crabbe and Goyle. God Estelle, my heart was mangled. The way you would give me evil glares absolutely tore me apart. And whenever I'd try to speak to you, and become your friend again, to be what we had been, you'd ignore me because of my reputation. You were the only girl I had ever wanted in my whole entire life, and I believed that my chances with you were obliterated because of who I was.

The dreaded day. You and Ron had strutted into the Great Hall in third year, hand in hand. The way my heart shattered ending up paining me for the two years you both were together. God, it tore me up inside to see him pushing you around all of the time, walking all over you. It hurt me to see your scared eyes while he was grabbing you at the party at the very end of fifth year. I couldn't take it anymore. I stood up for what was right.

And not even to mention, that summer. What I would give to run through the woods with you one last time. What I would give to climb our favorite pine tree with you once more, and sit at the very top and tell you all of these things that I wish I had the courage to say when you were still with me. What I would give to lay on my roof again, with you on my chest, as we watched the star speckled sky fade into stunning pastel colors. What I would give to sleep next to you once more, or to just be able to sleep without the haunting image of your body, limp to the ground. What I would give to cup my hands around your rosy cheeks again. Even if I did, I still wouldn't be able to do it without still having the vivid memory drilled in my mind of your pale face laying in my lap, with blue lips and your glassy blue eyes blankly gazing up at me while I screamed and begged for you to stay with me.

My head has been racing with "what if?" this and "what if?" thats. I ponder sometimes about what could've happened if we had just known what was coming, knowing that you weren't going to make it out of this brutal battle. If we had just one minute, I would've been able to tell you how much I loved you for the final time, and kiss you once more. If we had another hour, I would've brought you up to our favorite pine tree and told you everything I have written in this note. If we had another day, I would've done all the things with you that we used to, like running through the woods boundlessly, and swimming in the lake, staring at the stars, sleeping in the sun. And if we had another lifetime, we would live on a farm and forget about the lush life and riches. We would've had so many different animals like cows, horses, chickens, you name it, we would have it. We would've had two beautiful children, two because both of us always knew the loneliness of being an only child and we wouldn't want to put our kids through that, right? There would be fields of wildflowers surrounding it, out in the middle of nowhere, where no harm could ever come to us. You would be mine, Estelle Evelyn Malfoy, and I would be yours.

You'll never read this, I know you won't. But Estelle, I'm here to tell you that I miss every little thing about you. I miss your soft black hair, and the way it fell just a little bit past your waist. I miss your blue eyes, that I would've done anything in my power to keep tears from coming out of. I miss your soft lips, and the way they curled up when you smiled your absolutely perfect smile. I miss the way that you always smelled like fresh butterscotch and honey, that went perfectly with your golden tan skin. I miss your little hands, the way they closed over mine, and the way they rubbed my cheeks to comfort me while I cried to you. I miss waking up next to you, and hearing your soft, short breaths as you slept peacefully.

Estelle, I'm also here to tell you that I am still absolutely helplessly in love with you like I used to be. My proof for my love for you is that I still love you more than life, even though the only thing I have left of you are these memories that will still always be living in my mind, replaying and replaying no matter how much time without you passes.

Now I know that whenever I miss you, I'll go right back to our spot on the roof where we once laid as oblivious teens, utterly in love, not a fear in the world, and stare at the stars like we used to. Knowing my metaphor, that each and every star in Draco was just like you. Just like everything of me, was for you, beautiful Estelle. The best part of me was always you.

The day I die is the day I will stop searching for you.

Rest easy my beautiful angel.

Love,

Draco Malfoy