Ms Wilson's Replacement

37: can't go home

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"I make it easier for people to leave by making them hate me a little."
~Cecelia Ahern

The next morning I woke up with the mission in mind, playing my part until two p.m. then leaving for the railroad so I can be on time for the final switch. I took my bath and put on a purple gown so I can join Joey and Eli for breakfast one last time.

After the talk I had with Eli last night, I couldn't sleep, not like I have been having good sleep in the last three week either and I'm sure the guilt of what I've done is going to hunt me many months from now.

I wish I could judge Anna and expose her for what she really was, but I couldn't do that, no matter what, she still had the upper hand and telling Eli the truth would only risk Luke getting harmed and most likely killed and me getting thrown into prison by Eli and his family.

A place exists in my heart for Eli, but all I can do in a moment like this is pray that he realises the truth before it's too late.

"You're extremely cold," Eli's voice pulls me out of my thought and I see his eyes on me worriedly and looking down, I see his hands in mine and it is a surprise to me how I didn't feel his hand until now.

Joey gives me eyes of concern and I try to block out their concern and focus on my last breakfast. Every moment I spend with them now becomes a heartache.

"Are you okay?" Eli asks, his eyes like always trying to search mine out but I look away.

"Yes, Eli, I am fine. I guess I shouldn't have worn this dress." I say with a nervous laugh which eases the tension in the room a little.

His hand squeezes down on mine, "You're sure about that?"

I bring his hand which is holding mine up and I lean in to place tender kisses on it and I feel him shiver in response. "I am sure, thanks for your concern, though."

His eyes warm up and he nods, "Let's eat then."

After breakfast, Eli got ready for work. It is Saturday but he works from morning till five p.m. before closing. I told him I would be going out later today to get the sketches over to Francis even though it the weekend are we are usually closed and he told me to be safe. He said he will also be dropping Joey with Elizabeth because they talked and decided on it yesterday, I didn't have much to say in response, I will definitely miss him and the trouble he brings. Eli kisses me and Joey waves goodbye before they both take their leave.

I retired to my room and I picked out the journal which I have kept for the past three weeks and I flip it open, writing down everything that is left and yet to be written. Once Anna takes her rightful place as Ms Wilson, this journal will guide her through the last three weeks which she missed and help her know all that she needs to just like she wanted and orchestrated.

At exactly one fifty p.m., I got into a pair of black trousers and a red shirt I bought for myself, a black boot and a grey coat which was contrary to what Anna would normally wear. I sorted all the documents into the folder and slid them into the drawer before locking it and sliding the key into the purse. Today has been perfectly marked out and I don't want anything keeping me here than it needs to. I pick up the phone and throw it into the purse before walking out of the room at exactly two p.m. I am supposed to go wait at the old railway station and we are supposed to make the switch there. Hassan would take me to the bus stop and then, I would get a small car which will then take me to the railway just to make sure no one follows me.

I arrive at the old railway feeling edgy and a bit uncertain, but excited and giddy because I know from here on, my life is going to be mine and no one else will get to control it and the last three weeks would have been the best if I wasn't living in someone else's world. And as beautiful as it was, it wasn't my reality.