Gerard Way x reader

16)

I pick up one of my broken shoes and play with it in my hands, weighing out the difference between the sole and the heel. The cold air is chilling in my lungs as I lean out the window, not sure what my next move is. Gerard's blinds are shut, I know he's still awake as a warm light shines through as if the sunrise was hidden behind the glass frame. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding in efforts to calm myself down. Why am I even so worked up over this? Maybe it was about what happened with Frank... NOPE DON'T THINK ABOUT IT JUST GO GO GO.

I throw the shoe at the window across from me, I bite my lip to supress my laugh as I watch the discarded shoe bounce off with a thud, only to fall onto the bridge and then to fall into the darkness below. God it does not take much to amuse me.

"What you giggling at?" I snap my head up to Gerard, his window open along with his curtains.

"My shoe."

"How many shoes have you lost trying to get my attention?" He tried to hide a smirk but I notice.

"More than I would like to admit." I stare at him and take in every detail of his face. From the curve of his chin to the colour of his eyes.

"Well what are you here for? Seems like you have been pretty keen to avoid me the since the other night." With each word I feel guiltier and guiltier.

"I know it was shitty-"

"Two days, Y/n." I folds his arms and glares at me, finally getting his anger out, "I can't spend that kind of time away from you. I don't know what I did. I don't know what I have done. I've always tried my hardest for you and then this?" He stops and looks at me, I try to stop my shaking hands. He shouldn't effect me this much. "I'm not mad at you."

"Please."

"What?"

"Please be mad at me. I really deserve it. I should've spoken to you and I don't know why I thought I couldn't. It seems trivial looking at it but I'm really scared Gerard." I think back to my knock off therapy with Frank. "I'm really scared."

"Of what?"

"My commitment to you." I lock eyes with him, "I came to this school to get shit done and leave... but damn, sexy man comes in my life- I guess his brother Gerard is alright looking as well."

Gerard laughs a silent laugh and shakes his head. "Why do you do this?"

"I know, I'm sorry. I had my entire existence handed to me the other day." I mentally groan, "I only want to see you happy Gerard. I mean damn you give me some mixed messages-"

"And you don't?" He jokes.

"Mixed messages," I repeat myself, "But, Gerard Way, at the end of the day I know that I just want to see you happy."

"I am happy."

"I think you should talk to Ray about that girl. See if you can sort something out." I feel my heart break as I give him the advice, even if it made me slightly jealous... aha it's not like I like him or anything aha. "I don't know if it will help you or not, but I know that just being near someone that I like in that way makes me feel so much better- I'm rambling. Do you want to come over?" I try to change the tone and point into my room with my two thumbs.

"I was wondering when you were going to ask." Gerard wastes no time, climbing over the make-shift bridge and swinging his legs over my window sill and pushing himself into my room. "I have no idea what you're talking about, what girl with Ray?"

"The one-"

"Oh shit right." Gerard scratches the back of his head and jumps down onto my bed, "I don't know about that, I think I just want to focus on my friendship with you."

"There was no girl was there?"

"No, I- uh- just didn't want to admit I was in love with Frank-"

"REALLY??"

"NO!" He yells back before we both erupt with laughter.

"That's kinda disappointing." I say after calming down a little. "Drink? I stocked up on your favourite."

"Marry me."

"In your dreams, emo boy." I roll my eyes and walk away.

"You can't just get me my favourite drink and expect me not to ask." He stands up and joins me by the small fridge, taking the beverage from my hand.

"Man's is really trying to wife me." I chuckle and fall backwards onto the bed, somehow not spilling any of my drink. "Are you not scared of what the future holds?"

"No." He perches next to me and takes a sip, "I'm just happy I'll be surrounded by the people I care about."

I feel my heart warm at his sentence, my nerves so quickly calmed, before being replaced with anxiety, "I feel like you're lying."

"Why would I lie?"

"I don't know." I grumble and roll over to my front.

A hand pats my back firmly, "I need you, you know?"

"As much as I hate to admit it Gerard... I need you too."

"... Really?"

"Yeah, no idea why though." I turn my head so my other cheek is resting on the duvet. I look up at him with a cheeky grin.

"To stop you getting run over when you cross the road?" He lies down next to me on his back, his head facing my direction.

"Exactly. I don't know if it's your handsome face that distracts me or the shitty drivers."

"My handsome face?"

"No, probably not."

Mmmm time for time jump for next chapter I hope you're ready because shits going down for real Get ready for the speech in the description appearing pretty soon.