Ayshanae's POV
I was woken up to Ben shaking my shoulder telling me to get up. I looked at my phone wit no calls or text from Bam seeing that it was 2am. " Ben what do you want" i said whining. " Im serious it's important come downstairs" he said with and stern face. I got up and grabbed my phone and went downstairs. and seen Kentrell and Kd standing there. " Kentrell isnt serious fr what do y'all want i'm not in the moo-" I was cut off by Ben. " Nae fr come sit down it's serious" he yelled, Ben never yells at me. I walked over to the couch and sat down and Ben sat on one side and Kentrell and Kd on the other. " What's wrong" I said looking at them. " Bam got killed" Ben said making my heart stop. My whole body got shivers and my eyes instantly got watery it was like i couldn't move. " What? No he didn't I just was texting him, why you lying Ben he's not dead" I said rambling while my voice was cracking. " Nae i'm not lying he got shot somewhere near his house" he said looking me in my eyes, more like my soul. I didn't say anything i just stood up went on my phone to his instagram, he didn't post anything new. Something told me to click his mentions and every picture and video said " RIP Bam". I came across a police report and watched video. " 18 year old Alejandro Sosa shot dead after getting into an altercation with a man. Witnesses believe teen Alajendro was dealing drugs to him around 9 pm and that's when they started arguing and the man pulled a gun and shot him twice in the stomach, he was pronounced dead at the scene." I dropped my phone and my knees gave out on me and I was falling but Ben caught me and Kd helped, I just cried in their arms. I can't believe my boyfriend who I talked to not even 8 hours ago is dead, we just said I love you.
I was crying so loud and kept saying " No no no no " over and over again until Kentrell touched my back and said it was going to be okay. I turned and looked at him and said " Kentrell leave me alone you hated him you wanted him out of my life, you probably did this" I said. Then it clicked in my head Kentrell never liked Bam and wanted him gone, he probably did do this. I hope he didn't tho, Kentrell is apart of my life and I really hope he didn't kill Bam. " Nae-" he started to say but I cut him off " Kentrell please tell me you didn't do this please please" I said holding his arm breaking down even more . "I didn't do this i swear" he said. I just looked at him and then picked up my phone and went upstairs. " Nae come here , you need us rn" Kd said. " No I just want to be alone." I said going up the stairs. I sat on my bed and just cried and cried and cried. I can't believe he's gone, and our anniversary as well. I was just at his house this morning and now he's dead and never coming back.
I picked up my phone still on instagram seeing all these dms from random people saying how sorry they were and that he was in a better place, I just turned my phone all the way off, threw it across the room and got under the covers crying my heart out, my baby is gone forever.
2 days later
It's been 2 days since my heart left my chest. I haven't left my room or ate anything since. Ben and Kd stay coming in here sitting on the edge of the bed tryna talk to me or get me to get up or something but I don't, I just stare up at space and say nothing. How does someone move on once their lover is gone. Someone you shard love, intimacy, and many other things with. One minute your talking about getting money together and growing as a couple and the next you have to deal with the fact that your never going to see them again. Everytime I think about it, it just doesn't seem real, he can't be gone. I know him dealing drugs was a way to survive but if I would've known it would have gotten him killed I would fought harder for him, it my fault. It's all my fault I should've stopped him from going he would still be here. Imagine hearing your child is gone, i'm so close with his mom I can't imagine her pain right now. I have to go see her, idk when tho.
I was sitting up staring at the wall when Kentrell walked in, he never came in. " Hey " he said. I ain't say no nothing, I haven't spoke at all since I found out. " I know you going through a hard time right now, I was like this also when my grandmom Alice died" he said and I looked at him. " I just want you to know I didn't do this or had any involvement in it but the streets talk and I found out who did. I don't condone snitch shit but do what you gotta do, this his name , address, phone number, and what he look like" he said giving me a paper. I looked at it and nodded my head and he walked out. I don't what i'm gonna do wit it yet but I do know I need to get up and get myself together, Bam wouldn't want this. He was always about me living my life and overcoming obstacles, but I can't overcome his death and i never will.
