Ayshanae's POV
It's been a week since the day I made my post about Bam and I finally started talking again and eating. I turned my phone right back off after that because I didn't want anyone's sympathy. Kd and Kentrell had been staying at Bens house in the guest rooms since then, it's nice having them all be here for me . Today is the day of his funeral and I don't want to let go. I have yet to talk to Bam's mom but I knew it going to have to come, i just dnt know what to say.
I took my phone out the drawer next to my bed and went to her contact, " Momma Bam❤️" it read. I had no idea what I was going to say to her so I just texted.
" Momma Bam❤️" :
Momma i'm so sorry you lost your only child, I can't imagine how you feel. We loved Bam more than he knew it and we would do whatever was necessary for him. He loved you sooooo much, every time I mentioned he smiles unconditionally because the love he had for you was undeniable. He was doing things he wasn't supposed to do yall wouldn't have to struggle, i knew about it but I let him continue and that's my fault, i kill myself about everyday. Just know I got you forever, whatever you need just tell me and you got it. I love you mama i'll see you soon.
I went into my bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror, my hair was all over my head, my eyes were red and had bags under them, and i had dry tear stains on my face. I ran the faucet and wiped my face off and said " You'll be okay". I then took my clothes off and got in the shower and washed my hair , the whole time in there I was talking to Bam.
"Hey baby, we let you go today and none of us want to. I wish I could see you smile at me one more time and say " hey nae i missed you" the fact that i won't see you again is crazy to me. i had to stay off socials cuz they're as saying we ain't have no real time, but we did. we had all the time God gave us and i'll cherish those moments for the rest on my life. i hope i see you in the after life baby i love you so much"
i got out and out my dress and went to downstairs. Ben was coming wit me today and he asked if I was ready and I said yes. I Gave Kd and Kentrell and hug and we left.
The whole funeral was full of tears but I stayed strong and didn't cry, Me and Ben sat up front near his mom and i held her the whole time as she cried. " Now if you may, we'd like to have his girlfriend Ayshanae say a few words" The pastor said. I looked at Ben and he mouthed " you got this" and I went up to the podium.
" Hi everybody my name is Ayshanae and I'm Bam's girlfriend. Alejandro was such a sweetheart and treated me with nothing but respect. He held open doors, checked one me, and bought me gifts. This necklace and bracelet that says Bam, he got for me on our 2 month anniversary, the day he was killed. Our last conversation plays in my head onna loop and I wish i could've expressed my love for him if i knew it going to be my last time talking to him. Bam lights up a room whenever he walks into it, he always put others first and think about himself later, he had such a big heart and he'll forever be in mine. Thank you" and I sat down .
It was time for them to allow us to go up to his casket. Ben walked me up there and I looked at his lifeless face. " I love you baby, this is forever and ever" i said and kissed his lips. I then placed his favorite picture of us in his hand and wrapped it tight so he'll forever have it.
More people spoke on and then Ben drove us to his grave site. My whole time standing next his mom and Ben i said over and over again " don't cry". I didn't cry the whole time and I wanted to be strong. We put out roses on his grave and then the pastor let out doves and said goodbye. The casket then started to lower and I lost it. "No Bam come back don't leave. I need you. We need you, please " I yelled crying as my knees gave out me but Ben grabbed me and held me up. Bam's mom came and hugged me and walked me to Bens car. " I love you beautiful, we'll get thru this" she said thru tears. I wiped hers and Hugged her. I reached in my purse and pulled out 5k and gave it to her. "Take it, I love you more mama" I said and then she said thank you and got in her car. Ben drove me home and I went to room and cryed for the rest of the day.
It was about 5 hours later and now I was sitting on the side of my bed rocking back and forth talking to Bam before I did this life changing thing. " Baby i miss you so much. I know you wouldn't want me laying around like this so i'm up and imma keep ya name alive. Ik you ain't like Kentrell but he gave some info on that nigga that killed you, that's why you not gone like what i'm abt to do. I can't just let him get away with killing you, no way. I know Ben keeps a gun under the couch so imma go kill him, I have to. I love you forever baby". I then got up and put on all black clothes.
I went downstairs and they all looked at me " Hey" i said . They said wsp and I sat on the couch in between them and reached under and grabbed the gun and checked to see if it had bullets in it and it did. " Yo nae put that down how yk it was under there anyway" Ben said. " I need it, i be back." I said. " Uhn uhn be back where, tf is you going Ayshanae" Kd asked. " I'm gonna kill the person that killed Bam." Kentrell jumped up. " What no tf you not Ayshanae I swear to god" he yelled then I grabbed my keys and ran to my car and drove off.
Kentrells POV
Nae ran out the door with her keys then we heard the car pull off. " Yo she dnt know nun bout killing nobody " Kd said. " We know that nigga come on for she do sum dumb" Ben said and we all ran to our cars and started following her. As i was driving I was calling her but her phone kept going straight to voicemail. I really hope she don't do nuffin dumb, I should've never gave her the paper.
I knew where the house was so I drove straight there and got out and saw her talking to him idk what he said but she slapped him with the gun knocking him out, she tougher that half these niggas. I ran over to her and grabbed the gun out her hand and she started crying. " Nae you don't gotta do this the cops gone catch him" i said to her. " Thats not enough" she screamed crying. " He needs to be dead, he can't kill Bam and get to live he needs to die." I looked at her with a genuine face, she's really hurt. I hugged her and whispered in her ear " I got it" and then I turned around and shot him twice in the head. She jumped at each gunshot and hid behind my back. I turned around and looked at her knowing I had blood splattered on my face , she hugged me and said thank you.
