4 (jaylor) gleaming twilight and an infinite afterglow

chapter three.

Just as the two of them had suspected, Thea had said yes. Well, she'd actually screamed yes at the top of her lungs. She'd flung both her arms around Joe and Taylor, telling them that she was going to wear all of her dresses at once, her Elsa crown, with her magic wand and those little plastic princess shoes that all children love. Although the thought made Taylor so stressed that she thought she might actually pass out, she knew that it was the right thing to do. 

Thea really wanted to be involved in this part of their lives, and it was only fair that they let her. Joe was right. If Thea didn't like it or felt like it was too overwhelming, then they'd just take her home. The media, the cameras and the paparazzi were such a big part of their lives, and they both knew that they couldn't keep her hidden forever. Thea was going to have to get used to it - and even though that thought completely shattered Taylor, she knew that was reality. She had no choice. But it was just so hard. Because she couldn't stop thinking about all of those things that her father had told her after Thea had been born, and although she'd forgiven him, although they were still close, she hadn't forgotten. She didn't think she'd ever forget... those words had hurt her so badly, and she'd never forget that pain. Never forget those bitter words - the kind of words that tend to haunt you, even after there has been forgiveness. Even after there had been peace. They couldn't be forgotten, and most of the time, they were still at the forefront of Taylor's mind. 

Getting to bed wasn't as easy as they'd hoped - mostly because Thea was just so excited that she wouldn't calm down. She wouldn't stop tearing around the place, running up and down, jumping on the beds, pulling all over her clothes out of the wardrobe and chasing after Meredith. 
"Thea," Joe picked her up as she ran past him.
"Daddy, I'm much too busy-"
"No, you're not. It's bedtime." He told her as he kissed her cheek. "And if you don't go to bed and be a good girl, then you'll be too tired to come with Mummy and Daddy." 
Thea wriggled in his arms, squirming to get down. "I have to go! Mommy spends ages getting ready and I have to as well!" 
"You don't see Mummy getting ready four days before she has to go out, do you?" Joe chuckled. "Now, let's go and get you ready for bed." He put her down, but she ran away, into the living room, and climbed on the couches. Joe sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "Thea!" He called after her, but she wasn't listening. She was jumping up and down on the couch, yelling about which dress she was going to wear. He closed his eyes, feeling an arm wrap around her waist. 
"She'll tire herself out," Taylor smiled as she leaned her head on his shoulder. "Thea!" She called, leaving his side. "If you calm down, you can come and play the piano with me for a while." 

Playing the piano with them was another one of Thea's favourite things to do, she loved sitting and watching them play, adding in some of her own occasional notes.
Finally, she calmed down. She was sitting in Taylor's lap, while Taylor played a soft tune on the piano. This was one of the things they did when Thea refused to go to bed, and it had worked ever since she was a little girl. So now, Taylor could slowly see her eyelids begin to droop.
"Mommy?" Thea asked softly, as she looked up at her mother.
"Yes, petal?" Taylor softly played with her hair, smiling down at her.
"Are there gonna be bad people there?" She asked, and Taylor sighed. "Because... Because Inez said that sometimes there are people that yell... and I don't like being yelled at."
Taylor closed her eyes, trying to rapidly decide how she was supposed to answer that particular question. Because the Paparazzi definitely behaved themselves when there were young children, but they still tended to yell and speak loudly. Thea had barely ever been yelled at - Taylor could only think of twice. Once, because Thea had almost put her hands on the hot stovetop, and secondly because she thought it was a good idea to go running out the front door one day. Both of those had been instances where yelling was necessary. Thea was such a good girl and was rarely naughty.
How was she even supposed to answer that? Taylor didn't even know. 
"Sometimes they do," Taylor heard Joe peek his head around the door. "But Mommy and I are going to make sure that they don't," Joe told her as he perched on the seat beside Taylor. Thea left Taylor's arms to sit with him. "But if they do, then the people who look after Mommy and I will make sure they are quiet."
"And use their inside voices?" Thea asked, and Joe nodded. 
"Or you could tell them that it's important that they use their inside voices," Joe smiled. "Sometimes it can be a little bit loud because people like to tell us where to look because usually there are lots of cameras." 
"Why?" 
"Because a lot of people really like us," Taylor answered. Thea was so sleepy, so the two of them carried her to her room. "And people get lots of money for having good photos of Daddy and me." 
"Why?" Taylor smiled as she undressed her daughter, pulling on her pyjamas. 
"Because that's their job," Joe answered as he brushed her hair. "But tomorrow, me, you and mommy are going to take a nice photo together so that we don't surprise them too much when we show up on Thursday."
"A photo of me?" Thea asked as Joe finished brushing her hair. "Why?"
"Because people haven't seen you yet," Taylor smiled as she watched her climb into bed. 
"But I see Uncle Patrick and Uncle Austin and Aunty Blake and Uncle Ryan... and James, Inez and Betty... and Aunty Selena and Grandma and-" Thea started.
"What we mean," Taylor smiled as she sat beside her on the bed, "Is that the rest of the world hasn't seen you yet."
"Why?" Thea could barely keep her eyes open, but clearly, she still wanted to know the answers to the question.
"Because we wanted to keep you to ourselves for a little while," Joe told her as he leant down and kissed her cheek. Of course, there was a lot more to that story, but Thea was too young to understand that yet.
"Oh," Thea murmured, clearly almost asleep. Taylor began to softly hum their little song, Joe joining in, and by the time they'd finished, Thea was sound asleep. 
They turned off her lamp so that only the little cloud nightlight illuminated the room. 
Joe took Taylor's hand, and they closed the door just enough to leave a little room for Benjamin to sneak through. 
"Do you think we're making the right decision?" Taylor asked, sighing. Joe wrapped an around her waist. "She's still so young - and what if they really do yell at her-"
"Then I'll yell at them," Joe told her firmly, and was one hundred per cent serious. "I will yell at them and you'll cover Thea's ears so that she doesn't hear the words that I scream at them."
Taylor laughed at the seriousness she could hear in his voice. 
"It's going to be alright," Joe told her as they walked into the bedroom. "Unfortunately, it's just something that we have to make peace with. She'll get used to it, Taylor. She'll only be seen by the public on our terms. If she only occasionally comes to events with us, if we only occasionally take her out... if we only let them see her when we decide to, when Thea wants to be seen, then I think that's okay." Joe paused, gently brushing Taylor's hair away from her face and cupping her cheek. "I know that you're scared, my love." He gave her a soft smile, and she kissed his hand. "I know that you're worried about her, but she's going to be okay. Thea loves making friends with everyone. She'll get there, and she'll be making friends with everyone there. She's a little ray of sunshine. And it's okay that you're scared. I'm a little scared too. But this is just something that we have to get used to. It's okay that people see her face, but they're not really going to know much more than that - and that's okay." Joe kissed her forehead. "You can't feel bad for bringing her into your life," He told her and Taylor already felt the tears flood into her eyes. "Because you're an amazing mother."
Taylor nodded, kissing him. She didn't know what she'd do without him, without his supportive words, without his constant love and reminders. "I love you," She said, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I love you so much that it aches."
Joe smiled, placing a hand over her heart. "Right here?" 
Taylor smirked, taking out her hair from its ponytail. "I mean... I can think of lots of other places too..."

The next day was spent rushing around trying to take a picture of the three of them together. None of them seemed to be working, and Taylor didn't like the way that any of them looked. This was going to be the first time Thea was being seen by her followers, by people that weren't in her immediate friend group, her family or her private Instagram. It was very stressful, because she wanted everything to be just right, and none of them were perfect.
"Why don't we just post one of the photos of us when we were in New Zealand last month?" Joe asked when it was clear that Taylor was beginning to stress herself out too much. "I love this one," He showed her his phone lock screen, and Taylor smiled. 
She did love that photo. It was a photo of the three of them in Rosa's cafe. She still remembered that day so well. It was their most recent trip, and they'd had such a lovely time. Fortunately, the media hadn't found out about their New Zealand home, or the house they were building in Windermere. They'd been particularly clever in the fact that they'd bought a London home at the same time, which the media had soaked up like there was no tomorrow. So all the focus was on the fact that they'd finally purchased a house in London, rather than the two other homes she'd purchased around the same time. She called it her decoy house.
They'd walked down to Rosa's cafe, which was still a fifteen-minute walk, and that day, they'd surprised Rosa for her birthday. Thea had wanted to give her a balloon - one that they'd found that had flowers all over it. Joe and Taylor had worked hard on finding something to thank her for the kindness that she'd shown them. They'd eventually decided on getting her an outdoor water feature. Rosa always talked about how both she and her husband used to sit in the garden of one of the hotels that had a fountain in it. How, when they were going out, she'd bring him his lunch and they'd sit on a bench facing the fountain and eat together. She remarked how sometimes when she wasn't working, she'd go and sit there by herself because the sound of the water cascading downwards always took her back. Taylor's heart had very nearly melted when she'd heard that story. How Rosa always sat on that bench at she could almost feel him, sitting beside her. Something that had completely melted her heart altogether, was the fact that Thea, who was busy colouring, piped up and said to Rosa, "That's because water has memory!" She'd paused, and Taylor had smiled at the reference to Frozen II, and just wondered how Thea was so clever. "It remembers that love and now it will always be there!" 
Sometimes, when Thea said things like that, Taylor was just so proud. Of course, she was always proud, but sometimes the things that came out of Thea's mouth were just too beautiful.
So, in the patch of grass under the willow tree, and beside the creek, they'd had a large water feature installed. Joe had found a nice bench, and they'd surprised her with it. Rosa had been brought to tears, and so had Taylor. She'd already been an emotional person before becoming a mother, but now, they all seemed to be heightened intensely. 
The photo had been taken underneath the willow tree, with Rosa's beautiful garden in the background. Rosa had offered to take a photo of them, and they'd taken up on her offer. It was one of Taylor and Joe's favourite photos, they'd even printed it out and it was now sitting on the wall in the staircase of their Rhode Island home. every time Taylor walked up the tears, her mind was not filled with thoughts of what Adam had done to her all those years ago. Instead, she was reminded of the daylight she'd found, the light she was living in every single day. Joe had it saved as both his lock screen and his home screen, and Taylor just had a photo of Thea and Joe. She'd taken it on the rocks outside, Joe was sitting with Thea, and she was pointing out at the ocean. She loved that photo of them so much. Joe, looking down at Thea, the loveliest smile on his face, and Thea, giving that priceless smile. They were her favourite people in the entire world. 

She realised that she didn't have time to be running around trying to capture a perfect photo, so they decided on that post. 
"What are we even supposed to caption it with?" Taylor asked in the middle of packing Thea's bags. Joe was playing with Thea, distracting her while Taylor packed up a few of her clothes. They didn't often stay at their Los Angeles home, because it was far too busy. Los Angeles was the centre of all paparazzi and it was just one of the places that Taylor felt... least safe at. She couldn't pin down why it made her feel like that, but she just preferred to be at either their Rhode Island home, their New York apartment, or their New Zealand home. "It's such a big thing that I don't even think that words could describe it!"
"Mommy, can I do it?" Thea asked softly, stopping colouring in. "Can I say hello to everyone?"
Taylor smiled, looking over at Joe. He was smiling too, nodding.
"What would you like to say?" Joe asked her as he put the lid on the pen she wasn't using anymore. 
Thea spent a long time thinking about her answer before she decided on what she'd like to say. 
"Hi! I'm Thea and this is my Mommy and Daddy and I like Frozen and teddy bears and Benji is my favourite cat and I like mermaids and happy things and please remember to use your inside voices!" Thea answered, and both Taylor and Joe held back their laughter.
"Is there anything else you'd like to add?" Joe asked her and she gasped.
"Oh yeah! I forgot! I like dinosaurs too! Oh! And I like space and I love it when Mommy and Daddy sing to me and tell me they love me and I love it when Dibbles sits on my lap and I don't like breakfast... and I love it when I play the piano with Daddy and bake cookies with Mommy!" Taylor laughed. Perhaps a caption wasn't needed. 
"Why don't you tell them all of those things?" Taylor asked her, pulling out her phone. "Would you like to tell them all of those things?" 
"Yes!" Thea shrieked, standing up. 
"Do you think that's okay?" Taylor asked Joe, who nodded.
"I mean, it's pretty cute." he smiled, and Taylor opened up the camera on her phone. "Hang on a second, Theabear," Joe called over to Thea, who was busy putting on one of her princess crowns. He helped her to get it sitting straight. 
They both knew that this video was quite possibly going to break the internet because it was one of the cutest things out there. Thea was standing, wearing a Princess Belle dress, her hair in a ponytail, with an Elsa crown on her head, and Taylor just felt as if her heart was actually going to melt. 
"Alright, are you ready?" Taylor asked her with a smile, and Thea jumped up and down.
"Go!" Taylor was just so proud of her daughter. 
"Hi!" Thea waved at the camera, and Taylor looked over to see Joe looking as if his heart was melting too! "I'm Thea and this is my Mommy and Daddy and Frozen is my favourite and I really love my teddy bears and Benji is my favourite cat ever and I like mermaids and happy things and when mommy and daddy sing me to sleep and Benji sleeps on my bed and when Daddy plays the piano with me and mommy bakes cookies with me!" Thea was smiling so wide, and she seemed so happy. She jumped up and down, coming close to the camera. "I can't wait to be friends, but you have to use your inside voices!" Taylor just felt so happy. She loved her daughter so, so, so much. Thea leaned in and kissed the camera, and Taylor laughed. 
"I think that was perfect!" Joe laughed as Thea ran over to him and cuddled into him.
"I know it was, Daddy." Thea grinned, giggling. 
"Do you think that will be okay?" Taylor asked Joe, and he smiled, nodding. 
"Perfect. And now you don't even need a caption," He told her and she smiled. 
She knew that the world was ready to meet Thea, but she just wasn't sure if she was ready for Thea to meet the world. But she knew that this had to be done, and knew that it was going to be okay. She'd protect her daughter, she knew she would. 
She sighed, selecting the photo of them together, and the video of Thea to post. This was terrifying, and Taylor felt as if she might actually combust from the stress of it all. 
"Do you want me to send the video to you? Do you want to post it too?" She asked Joe, and he nodded. 
They were really doing this. Taylor sighed, AirDropping the video to him. 
"It's going to be okay, my love," Joe told her, and Thea laughed.
"It's okay Mommy!" She said, copying Joe, 
"Ready?" He asked her, and Taylor nodded.
"Let's do it," She told him before they both hit post.