4 (jaylor) gleaming twilight and an infinite afterglow

chapter five.

Taylor hadn't ever felt so anxious about being seen at an event like this. She was doing her best to hide it because it was a special time, and she didn't want Joe to feel like she didn't actually want to go. Because she did. She really did. She was just scared of how they'd treat Thea, scared of how Thea would react. She hadn't even been this stressed when she'd have to complete interviews acting as if her life wasn't falling apart at the seams. She hadn't felt like her heart was going to tear out of her chest even when Jimmy had asked her how she was, how Adam was. When a fan had made a comment about the fact she was wearing so much makeup, or why she'd stopped wearing, what they called, the iconic crop tops and matching skirts with a beautiful pair of heels. She hadn't felt this anxious when she'd had to lie to her mother, or when she'd found out that she'd have to cancel the Lover tour. 
What would happen if one of them said something about her past in front of Thea? What if they did something to hurt her? What if-
"My love," Taylor was roused from her thoughts by a hand on her shoulder. She didn't flinch when Joe did that anymore - she didn't jump when he touched her and she was so busy in her thoughts that she was unaware of all the things going on around her. She was relieved that she'd stopped flinching because she always felt so guilty because she knew that Joe would never hurt her. She knew that, but it seemed that her head didn't. She'd spend the rest of the day apologising to Joe if she'd flinched after he'd touched her, so it was obviously a relief to her when she no longer had to feel guilty about it. "Everything's going to be okay. We'll have our own security, on top of the security that they've already offered us," He told her, and Taylor gave him a smile because it so often felt as if he could actually read his mind. "And I've told Thea that a lot of them don't actually know what inside voices are, and so they might be a little bit loud, but she seems really excited, love. She really does. I think it's going to be okay." He cupped her cheeks and kissed her forehead. "We're all going to be okay. This is only a big deal because it's the first time we've ever taken her in front of the cameras. Blake's done it, and they've still managed to keep their privacy. Gigi's done it too, Khai's a natural. Something tells me that Thea will be too. You saw her in front of the camera - she loved it. She's already captured a special place in the world, and that space is just going to get bigger as she gets older."
Taylor smiled, pressing a finger to Joe's lips, frowning. "Shhhh, you know we're not allowed to talk about that. She's already old enough as it is... in fact, I think that I'm not going to let her get any older -" Taylor smiled. 
"Mommy!" Thea called from her bedroom. Taylor leaned up and kissed Joe's cheek, grinning as she walked to into Thea's room to find that Thea was standing in a mess of all the dresses that they'd brought for her to wear. 
"What's the matter?" Taylor asked as she kneeled down in front of her, taking her hands. 
"What do I wear?" Thea exclaimed. "I don't know which one will make everyone like me more." 
Taylor gave her a small smile. "Everyone's going to love you, no matter what you wear." She told her daughter with a kiss. She sighed. "What about this one?" Taylor led Thea to her bedroom, where she'd been keeping a little secret. She'd brought a dress a while ago, but kept it hidden from Thea because Taylor knew that the moment she saw it, she wouldn't take it off. It was almost perfect. It had all of Thea's favourite colours on it - and when Taylor had seen it, she truly hadn't been able to resist. It was a Stella Mccartney dress, which Taylor had brought a few months ago - firstly because it reminded her of Lover, and secondly because she knew that Thea would like so beautiful in it.