4 (jaylor) gleaming twilight and an infinite afterglow

chapter twenty.

"You really didn't have to come all this way," Taylor said to Patrick as he headed to the door. "But nonetheless, I couldn't have done this without you. In saying that - please don't tell Joe."
"Of course not - that's your news. And you know that I'm only one call away," he smiled. "It's exciting. Are you excited?"
Taylor didn't even really know how to answer that question, because it felt as if she hadn't even had time to process it all yet. So, she nodded with a smile. She didn't know how to tell Joe. Her phone had been buzzing continuously for the last twenty minutes, asking how things were going. Taylor had made sure that she didn't give anything away. It wasn't the sort of thing that you can just tell someone through a text message - and she was scared.
"Thanks for coming," she sighed as she pulled Patrick into her. "It's only another few weeks and we'll be seeing each other again," she grinned. "So it's not too long."
The longest they'd ever gone without seeing each other was a month - because they'd both been busy with their lives. But in a few short weeks - they would all be going over to the lakes, where they'd spend Thea's holidays at their Lake house. Taylor was looking forward to it. Thea was too - and Taylor had noticed that as the school term was dragging on, Thea was getting more and more tired. Taylor was tired too, and she waved at Patrick as he got into his car.
She'd been biting her lip again. Hard. It was a habit that she wished she could avoid, a habit that she wished would go away. It hurt, and she was so sick of having to remind herself not to do it. The amount of lip balm that she'd had to put on at the moment was ridiculous.

She paced around the house. She could see that Joe and Thea were about fifteen minutes away in Find My Friends, and her stomach felt as if it was going to rebel against the stress she'd been under. She still hadn't replied to Joe's messages - she didn't know what to say. She knew that he'd freak out when she told him... and she didn't know what to say. She supposed that she'd have to wait either until Thea was busy playing, or until she was in bed completely.
She sat on the couch. Fifteen minutes alone. She could do this. They were going to have to get used to saying babies and they'd have to buy two of everything. Two babies? A part of her was excited, and she smiled.
Sarah had spent a long time discussing the extra precautions they'd have to take because of that - and there was a huge part of Taylor that knew Joe would take these precautions to the extreme. She also knew that he'd been worried about her... and she knew that this news was just going to make his worry worse.
She sighed, taking in the last few moments of silence she'd get before Thea arrived. It was so strange to be away from her - she hated being apart from her family, but knew that Thea would have to get used to it eventually. Eventually Taylor would have to do another tour - and Thea would be in school and wouldn't be able to attend every place with her. Thea would hate that, of course... but that was how it had to be. Taylor had toured most of her previous albums - but Thea was younger then. She was young enough to travel with them, and young enough to be occupied in the hotel room. But now she was older, and it wasn't so easy to keep her entertained. Joe used to be able to play with her while Taylor was performing - and complete the bedtime routine without Taylor... but now it was more complicated. Thea was at school - meaning that they couldn't always just flee to another house. That was taking some getting used to, and if Taylor was honest, she didn't know if she'd ever get used to it. Her life had been about travel and touring the world for so many years now that it had been such a change to have that pressure taken off of her. She'd decided quickly, after having Thea, that once she was old enough to understand... once she was old enough that travelling would disrupt her too much... that the tours would stop. The performing wouldn't- but the consecutive nights of performing would. She tried to perform little concerts wherever she went, so that they didn't have to completely change everything.
She anxiously checked her phone again and saw that Joe had texted to say that they were pulling up the drive now - and her heart skipped a beat. How do you even tell someone this kind of news? How does it come up? She stood up and walked over to the door. She'd missed them so much that she actually worried she might cry at the sight of them. It made sense to her, in that moment, why things had been feeling so different to how it had been with Thea. That's because things were different.