4 (jaylor) gleaming twilight and an infinite afterglow

chapter fifteen.

"Are you sure that's everything?" It was nearly two in the morning, and both Taylor and Joe were running around getting everything sorted. Their families had arrives yesterday, Elizabeth was currently blowing up balloons with Joe, Andrea and Taylor were making sure that the food was all ready. Richard and Scott were outside hanging up fairy lights. Taylor was so excited. Thea's actual birthday wasn't for a few days, but the idea of her waking up to the house looking like this made her heart flutter. To be fair, anything to do with Thea made her heart soar. Or anything to do with Joe - or the fact that in several months, they'd have another child in the house. Both Taylor and Joe loved being parents. There wasn't anything they'd rather do in the entire world. They loved waking up at the crack of dawn to make sure that everything was ready for the day. They loved Thea coming into their room because she was scared, or because she'd had a nightmare. They loved it all so much that they couldn't think of anything they'd rather do in their lives. She'd never particularly wanted kids - until she'd met Joe. There was no way she'd have brought a child into the world with Adam - she just couldn't have. There was also something about Joe that just made everything seem alright. That even though Thea would never, ever have a normal life, never be able to do something without security, something about the love that both of them shared for her made that okay. Thea would always have a home filled with love and light, no matter what. Taylor would never make her feel like her father had made her feel. She'd always have a home to come back to, no matter how old she got, no matter how far away she was. There would always be a home to return to.
"Honey?" Taylor heard her mother's voice in the back of her mind and was pulled from her thoughts.
"Sorry," Taylor grinned, sighing as she looked at the time on her phone. God, it was late. "What were you saying?"
Her mother smiled as she wrapped her arms around her daughter. "I was about to tell you that I think that's everything."
Taylor nodded, her lack of sleep lingering in the air as she yawned. Everything was ready. Perfect, even. There wasn't a thing out of place. Balloons hung from the ceiling, streamers decorated the walls. It really did look lovely, and Taylor couldn't wait for Thea to see it.

Joe watched Taylor as he followed her up the stairs to bed. He loved her just as much, if not more than he had when he'd first laid eyes on her all those years ago. It's a funny thing, how much you can love a person. That love can fill the void in our empty cobblestone hearts. Joe loved her so much that he couldn't even begin to try and write a song or a poem about how much he loved her.
"Joe," a voice called from behind him as he turned and watched Patrick walk up the stairs behind them.
"Yeah?" Joe replied, and Patrick pulled him aside. If Taylor noticed that Joe wasn't following her anymore, she didn't make it apparent. "What's wrong?"
"Don't be mad, okay?" Patrick told him mysteriously and Joe sighed. What was he on about?
"What did you do?" Joe raised an eyebrow as they stopped in the hallway.
"Promise you won't be mad," Patrick pleaded.
"I'm not promising anything, Pat! It depends what you did..."
"Okay well, you left your phone on the bench and I - very easily, by the way - guessed your password and it just so happened to be the right password and... you haven't spoken to Molly in years -"
"Pat." Joe swiftly cut him off. "Aren't you a little old to be going through my phone?"
Patrick rolled his eyes. "I thought Molly was your best friend-"
"We drifted apart, Pat. That happens sometimes. You're not friends with any of the people you went to school with," Joe tried hard to keep calm - even though he wanted to get angry. "It doesn't matter." The truth was, he often thought about how he'd just walked away from her that day - how he should've realised that it wasn't Molly's fault... it was his fault for hoping that she'd wait around long enough for him to get his shit together. But here he was, with the love of his life. Things had worked out just as they'd meant to - only the Joe he was a decade ago couldn't see that. Things had happened, all of those bitter moments had led up to him meeting the end of his golden string, the woman who helped him fix all of his broken pieces.
"Are you even still friends with her on Facebook?" Joe was ashamed of the answer, of the fact that he'd blocked her the moment he'd gotten in his car. He'd been heartbroken, and you can do stupid things when your heart is bleeding out on the floor. He hadn't sent her through another friend request, hadn't even tried to reach out to her again... because he knew that what he'd done had been wrong. He was ashamed of the way he'd reacted. It was stupid and he hated himself for it. Of course, he hated himself for a lot of things, but some things in particular really ran deep.
"Do you even know what's happening in her life right now-"
"I don't want to know, Pat."
Patrick's face contorted and he rolled his eyes. "Really? What's the problem? The two of you were best friends - and then you had a meltdown and refused to see her ag-"
"I'm not sure that you're the one who's able to lecture me about having a meltdown and refusing to see someone again. If I remember correctly - and I do remember correctly - you were the one who was so broken hearted that you flew all the way out here, to have what I would call a meltdown and you refused to see Lauren ever again. You're not one to talk-"
"Joseph, Patrick." Their mother called their names in a hushed whisper up the stairs.
Her face peaked around the corner a few moments later.
"It's late, go to bed. That's not the kind of conversation to have on the eve of Thea's birthday party."
Joe didn't even glance at Patrick as he walked into the bedroom, ignoring him completely. Patrick didn't know how it felt - but it didn't matter. Because he walked into the bedroom to see Taylor, asleep in her clothes, her shoes still on and her eyes closed... he knew that he would go through that day, that pain a hundred times over. He knew that he would do it all again to get to spend the rest of his life with her. Because he loved her, truly and completely. He loved her so much that he couldn't string sentences together. He couldn't do anything but live in that love, right in the moment.
He smiled as he softly took of her shoes, as he pulled up the blanket from the end of the bed to cover her. He'd never get tired of looking after her. Of watching her sleep, of loving her. She was a constant in the world of chaos that they lived in. She was the love of his life, and he'd do anything for her. He often realised that more and more every day, with every little thing she did. He just loved her endlessly, to the moon and to Saturn.
"Joe?" He heard her murmur through the darkness, "is that you?"
"It's me," he whispered.
"I love you," Taylor said sleepily.
Joe smiled. "I love you too," he told her as he climbed into bed beside her. "So much."
"Is Patrick alright?" She asked with her eyes closed.
"He's just busy being Pat," Joe was glad that Taylor was still pretty sleepy and didn't open her eyes to see his face. Patrick's words had sown seeds of guilt in the pit of his stomach, because he couldn't help but feel bad. Bad for walking away, for not being there for the person that had helped him through those dark times as a kid.
But he couldn't just message her now, could he? Not out of the blue - when they hadn't seen or spoken to each other in so long... but he knew that he had to. What if something terrible had happened to her? He closed his eyes, and refused to let himself think of that. He couldn't let himself spiral like that - not today. Not tonight, or this morning, or whatever lonely hour it was. He pushed it to the back of his mind, ignoring the dull ache of his arm as he ignored the temptation of hushing his thoughts. Taylor had remained strong, he would too.

Taylor woke up to Thea bouncing on the bed, screaming about the fact it was her birthday party. She was beyond excited, and Taylor wondered if she might actually be more excited than her daughter, at this rate. The party started at eleven, it was eight thirty now.
Thea had chosen her own special party dress, Taylor had sat beside her on the couch a couple of weeks ago and they'd scrolled and scrolled until Thea had found the perfect dress. It was a beautiful ocean inspired dress, and Thea couldn't wait to wear it. Taylor had to make sure that she'd hidden it when it had arrived, because Thea had been so obsessed with it, with wearing it, that Taylor had to hide it or else Thea might have tried to open it before hand.
"It's my birthday party!" Thea exclaimed as she crawled into bed between Joe and Taylor, cuddling into the two of them. The best mornings were often spent here, in bed cuddled together. Taylor, on morning like this, with Joe and Thea cuddles beside her, found it so hard to believe how far she'd come. She couldn't believe that she was here - still here regardless of all that pain, she couldn't believe that all of that pain had led to the beauty of these moments. She wouldn't give them up for the world. Moments of quiet, moments of complete love and family. She was so excited that soon they'd have another little baby crawling about. Taylor loved being a Mom so much - there wasn't anything else she'd rather do.
"Of course it is!" Joe tickled her and she wriggled, giggling.
"And Betty and James and Inez and Lyra and Khai and everybody is gonna be there and I'm gonna tell everyone about it at school!" Thea exclaimed. Quite a few of her school friends were invited to the party, and Taylor smiled. She was so happy that Thea had managed to make friends, it was one less thing that Taylor had to worry about. Thea had actually made a lot of friends, and most days, she'd come home talking about a new friend she'd made. Taylor almost felt like she was glowing when she heard Thea's stories about her day, she just felt so unbelievably proud and grateful that she got to experience all of these things with her daughter.
"Alright then, sunshine," Joe grinned as Thea ran over to the window to let the light in, "Let's go and make some birthday-party-breakfast waffles!"
Taylor loved their little family so much.
She loved that Thea held Joe's hand as she skipped into the hallway, how she looked up at him with such curiosity and adoration. She loved everything about the life they'd made for themselves. The media had almost backed off a little bit now that Thea often went out with them, which was a relief. Sometimes, they even managed to do things without being found by the cameras. That was such a nice feeling, considering that she'd been living in front of them since she was sixteen.
She smiled as she rested a hand on her stomach. They'd soon be a family of four. Seven, if you included the cats, which of course, Taylor did. Once, there had been a time where Taylor had truly believed that she'd never get to have a family, and here she was, loving despite it all. And she was proud, oh so proud of the life she'd made.