4 (jaylor) gleaming twilight and an infinite afterglow

chapter sixteen.

Joe couldn't get Molly out of his head. Guilt had settled in his stomach and he couldn't stop it. Molly didn't deserve what he'd done to her. He'd been in such a dark, cold place back then that he'd not been thinking straight, and now he was worried that he'd done something bad. Patrick had been asking him if he knew what was happening in her life - had something bad happened? He hadn't realised how much he still cared about his friend. Not in the way he used to, the way someone would care about their crush, someone they used to love. He now cared about her in the way that a friend would care for another friend, the way that you always wanted to make sure that a friend was alright, never wanted them to go through pain.
"Khai!" He was interrupted from his thoughts by Thea, who was running with her arms flailing around in the air towards the front door. He instantly smiled. Thea had seen Khai, Gigi and Zayn arrive through the window in the front room, and was so unbelievably excited to see her. She didn't get to see Khai as much as their other friends, because both families were so busy. Joe opened the front door, and Khai came running in and wrapped her arms around Thea. Joe grinned. He loved seeing Thea with other kids, loved seeing her happy. He'd always worried that she wouldn't make friends very easily, because other than their circle of friends and their children, she'd never really had much to do with other kids. It was harder for her to make friends with people, harder for her to put herself out there. Thea had always liked being with adults more than other kids, so it excited him that she had friends from her classroom coming. The most nerve-wracking part of kids parties from an adults perspective was the fact that they had to talk to all of their parents. The people they were already friends with... that was okay. But the fact that some of the people coming they'd only smiled briefly at on the way through the classroom to pick Thea up? Scary. Other parents were very intimidating. Luckily most of the parents weren't staying, which was a relief. Perhaps they thought it was a little awkward... Joe didn't know. But he was glad that they didn't have to worry about making a good impression.
"Hey, Thea!" Gigi grinned as she walked up the stairs to the door. Khai went running off with Thea, who wanted to show her friend absolutely everything. "Joe!" Gigi wrapped her arms around him, and he smiled.
"Thanks for coming," he told her as she pulled away.
"Zayn couldn't come, I'm afraid," she sighed. "He's currently in the middle of recording a new album, and he couldn't miss it."
"Oh, we understand completely," Joe said as Taylor came to the door beside him.
"Hi!" Joe always loved the way Taylor's face illuminated with happiness when she saw her friends. It always made him smile because seeing Taylor happy was one of the bright lights in his life.
"Taylor! It's been too long!" Gigi flung her arms around her and Joe went to go and find Patrick. The two of them hadn't talked since last night, and Joe didn't even know what to say... so he'd avoided him at all costs.

Soon enough, thirteen kids were running wild around the house.
Taylor was making sure that everything was perfect. So far, it was going well. So far, she'd been able to make things run smoothly. She was so excited for Thea. Her daughter was currently in the pool - all of the kids were. The mermaid, who went by the stage name of Bubbles, was the highlight of the day. They couldn't even get the kids to come in and eat food - they all loved it so much.
Taylor was sitting on the side of the pool, Selena sitting beside her.
"Are you feeling better?" She asked, and Taylor turned to her with a smile.
"I am. Thank you for everything you did - I just... I don't know what came over me."
"You have to stop thanking me every single time you see me," Selena nudged her gently. "It was nothing. Really." She paused, and Taylor laughed as Thea was doing her best to swim like a mermaid - they all were. It was very entertaining, as most of them ended up flailing their arms around and splashing water everywhere. "I'm just so glad that things turned out okay. With everything that happened over the years... I'm just so glad that you've found your person."
Taylor grinned. What seemed like forever ago, she'd introduced Selena to Grey's Anatomy and they'd spent an entire week binge-watching every single episode.
"Me too." Taylor looked to see Joe talking with Ed and Gigi, and let herself smile. "How are things-" Taylor was about to ask Selena when she was cut off by Thea calling out to her and asking if she was watching.
"MOMMY!" Thea called and Taylor stood up and moved to kneel beside the pool. "ARE YOU WATCHING?"
"I most definitely am!" She said as she watched Thea swim like a mermaid. It was such a good idea, having a mermaid here with them. It kept all the kids occupied - thinking about something that wasn't filled with sugar.
"Did you see that?" Thea called and Taylor clapped.
"Wow! That's so good, Theabear! Just like a real mermaid!" She told her daughter. Thea laughed as she swam over to Lyra and the two of them held hands together. Little children are so sweet in that way - so open and kind. The mermaid - Bubbles, got all of the children into a circle, where they were all holding hands. Taylor went back to sit with Selena.
"As I was saying," she continued, "how are things going for you?"
"Oh!" Selena gasped. "That reminds me! I wanted to play you one of my new song ideas! I know that's not what you meant, but you reminded me to tell you that," Selena laughed, before sighing. "I just... I'm not ready for another relationship. I've tried it a couple of times and I just... don't think I love myself enough for that quite yet." She admitted, and Taylor took her hand. "And that's the most important thing... loving myself first."
"That's right," Taylor gave her a small smile. "Well... if I can help you in any way, please let me know. Even if that means we get away together for the day and have a long talk about everything that's going on, or you're welcome to come here during the day - Joe's about to start working on a film that means he'll be away during the days, and once Patrick leaves, it'll just be me." Taylor did her best not to think about being left alone in the house because her mind still liked to wander. She'd come so far, but she wasn't perfect.
"That would be so nice," Selena smiled as Andrea tapped Taylor on the shoulder.
"Hey, Mom," Taylor looked up at her before she stood up.
"There's someone at the door for you," she said with a smile.
That sentence still sent a spring of panic through Taylor's veins, because she still felt that fear of wondering if Adam would be standing there. It was impossible, she knew that. But it still didn't calm her fear.
Taylor excused herself, before walking back through the garden and into the house. It was a nice day, so luckily everyone was outside. It was the perfect day. Nice and warm, the perfect weather for a pool party.
Taylor opened the front door, subconsciously holding her breath. She thought she would've stopped worrying about these things by now, but the fear was still as real as it was that very first time Adam had showed up on her doorstep, unwanted.
She clasped her hand around the door handle, taking a deep breath before she opened it.
She let herself breathe when she saw Rosa standing on the doorstep. She gave her a beaming smile.
"I got a little lost," she told Taylor, who wrapped her in her arms. "I'm sorry I'm late!"
"Don't worry about it! Thea is going to be so excited to see you, she's currently in the pool swimming with a mermaid!" Taylor led Rosa through the house. "Thea! Look who's here to see you!" She beamed and Thea came swimming to her, climbing out of the pool.
"Rosa!" Thea exclaimed as Joe wrapped her in a towel so that she wouldn't get Rosa all wet. "You're here!"
"Of course I am!" Rosa grinned.
"We have an actual real-life mermaid here!" Thea pointed at Bubbles and jumped up and down. "Daddy says she's from the real-life ocean with the real-life fish!"
"Oh my!" Rosa exclaimed, and Taylor smiled. She loved the relationship she had with Rosa - in so many ways, so many times it felt as if her grandmother was staring back at her. Sometimes it felt like Marjorie was there, some of the things that Rosa said and did just reminded Taylor so much of her.