Yearn For Agony // Billie Eilish

IV

"She's different, I dunno how to describe it." I huff, halfway through jogging the mile for gym.

"Everyone says that, Lei. That's like some movie-type shit." Fatima explains before talking with a valley girl accent, "I'm not like other girls."

We both laugh and begin to slow down.

"I'm serious! She looks like she doesn't give a fuck about school, but that girl's a fuckin' genius. I swear her mind is on another planet."

"Have you talked since you studied with her last week?"

"No not really, but I'm supposed to come over today."

"And... Do what?" Fatima pries, raising her eyebrows.

"Study."

"Yeah, okay."

I suck my teeth, knowing what she's hinting at, "You and Khalil are always pushing this weird ass agenda on me. Like I said, I don't even know her that well."

"But you think she's attractive right? Even just a little bit?"

I shrug my shoulders, not wanting to get a rouse out of her.

"Leilani," She drags out. "I'm straight but I still have eyes! That girl is fine, whether you want to admit it or not. And she's taller than you. She's gotta be like, what, 5'7? 5'8 maybe?"

"Fine, I can definitely say the way she carries herself is attractive. I kinda like how she doesn't say or do too much, but at the same time, seems to demand attention without asking for it."

"So, she's the opposite of Khalil?"

"I didn't say that,"

"But it's true and you're implying you have a type-- which isn't Khalil. He's a loud and a disruptive goofball. Billie just sits back and observes."

"You're doing that thing again," I whine.

She stops walking and crosses her arms. "What thing?"

"You know, the thing where you overanalyze and put words in my mouth."

Fatima rolls her eyes playfully as she puts an arm on my shoulder, continuing to walk. "Girl, I'm just saying the stuff you're thinking."

"How did Khalil even get into this conversation?"

"Maybe because he has an itsy-bitsy crush on you." She squeezes two of her fingers together to express how small it is.

"That was like freshman year, he's over it. Plus, he has a girlfriend now."

"He had a bigger crush in ninth grade, it just faded over the years. The crush is still there, with or without the girlfriend."

"You're batshit crazy."

"I love you, too." She beams, sarcastically.

—

It's free period and I'm bored out of my mind, with nothing to do.