Yearn For Agony // Billie Eilish

V

Billie's front door swings open, but instead of seeing her pretty face, I'm met with a taller, older man with a funny mustache.

"Leilani!" He exclaims, bringing me into a hug. "Finally nice to meet you."

With a confused expression, I invite the gesture.

He pulls away and rubs his beard in thought, "I was under the impression that you and Billie studied on Wednesdays."

That was the case, but to my surprise, yesterday, she asked me to purely hang out.

No physics, no algebra, no two-dimensional kinematics.

Just us.

"That's true, we're just hanging out today." Billie's voice becomes clearer as she nears the two of us.

"Now leave her alone, dad." She stands next to him in the doorway and grabs my hand to pull me inside.

"Hello to you, too." I say with a smirk, taking a seat on her bed once we've reached her room.

"Salut mon ange." She says a bit cockily, carefully removing a book off of one of her shelves. "Je trouve que tu es très jolie aujourd'hui."

I'm not sure what she said, but it makes me giddy inside nonetheless. I like the way french words roll off of her tongue with ease.

"What does that mean?"

Placing the book on her dresser for later, she walks over and lays back on the bed with her arms crossed behind her head.

"I said hello."

I scoot up next to her and lay on my stomach, holding my head up with my hands.

She briefly glances down at me and if I'm not mistaken, she tries to hold back a smile before looking up at the ceiling in an attempt to distract herself.

"I'm not stupid, Billie. There's no way in hell, all you said was hello."

"I know you're not stupid. Cause I'm you're teacher, remember?"

I laugh, "I thought you were prudent, but turns out you're awfully arrogant for someone so quiet."

"That's the thing, Lei, you don't know me. I'm full of surprises."

"You're right, I don't know you. Enlighten me then— Why are you the way that you are?"

"That's a loaded question. What do you mean? Be more specific."

"You're a fuckin' prodigy, Billie."

She raises her eyebrows and sits up against her headboard, "Some might call it that."

"I'm being deadass, what's up with that? Like, the books and the science and literally everything else."

Billie looks down in her lap, picking at her fingernails. She remains silent for a little while before deciding to answer.

"I dunno, I think I've always been naturally educated or whatever you wanna call it... But some shit happened to me a couple of years back and I took up a few hobbies to distract myself. One of them, was reading. I don't know why I like it so much, I just do. It's a nice escape, you know? After that, I just started applying myself in all areas of school. It came pretty easy for me and it wasn't doing anyone any harm, so why not?"

I nod in understanding. A part of me wonders what happened to her, but I don't push it. "Were you always so... Reserved?"

I can tell she's hesitant to answer. It's like she can't decide whether or not she should tell the truth or lie.