Sweet As Sugar

Chpt 10

I can feel my heart beating out if my chest as I walk to the park pushing the stroller gripping onto the handles.
It's pretty quiet for a Saturday here.
I walk to a bench and sit down checking Lucia who is currently looking all around her.
I wonder for a second if I should take her out of the stroller to give her a look around the park.
There seems to be no sign of Eoghan so I take her out and sit her on my lap.
She immediately notices some birds and focuses on them and starts babbling.
Last night was not a good night.
She was screaming most of it almost impossible to soothe.
Teething is a curse.
I hold her close and kiss her head.
She doesn't pay much attention to my affection as usual and continues babbling at the birds.
The birds fly off and she turn her attention back to me.
I make silly faces to keep her amused fuled by her innocent little giggles.
I cradle her and look into her eyes.
She starts chewing her hand looking back into my eyes.
I take her hand out if her mouth earning an annoyed look from her.
I kiss her head and place her back in her stroller clipping the straps closed.
I look up once I finish with strapping her in and see him.
He's in the entrance of the park looking around presumably for me.
He looks directly at me before looking elsewhere.
He doesn't expect it to be me with the stroller. I wonder if I should go over to him but decide against it.
He takes out his phone and a moment later I get a text asking where I am.
I suppose I have to walk over to him.
I get up dusting myself off take the lock off the strollers wheels walking over to him my heartbeat becoming more prevalent with each step.
I walk behind him hold my breath and tap on his shoulder.
He turns around his eyes meet mine yet again.
His gase is quickly taken by Lucia who is starting to fuss.
His eyes widen more then I thought was humanly possible.
His mouth moves but no sound is admitted.
He looks back at me his eyes a mixture of sadness and confusion maybe a little anger.
I want to run but I can't.
His eyes dart between me and Lucia.
Lucia starts to fuss arching her back against the stroller wanting out.
I have no choice but to take her out before she starts crying.
I take her out undoing the straps clips with shaking hands.
I place her on my hip and move a piece of her hair out of her face.
"Cassidy..."
"Why didn't you tell me..?"
I look at the ground ashamed.
Lucia starts chewing her hand looking at Eoghan.
"C-can I hold her?"
Out of all the reactions I imagined I didn't expect this one.
I look at him nodding passing Lucia to him.
Lucia looks up at his face in utter confusion.
He looks back at her his eyes softening.
A tear threatens to come from his eye he blinks it away.
"H-Hello little miss what's you name?"
His voice cracks slightly as he says this.
"H-Her name is Lucia..."
"That's a beautiful name for a beautiful little girl"
He lets a few tears escape.
Lucia not caring for anything to do with this situation starts babbling to herself.
"How old-"
"S-shes six months"
He nods and turns his attention back to the babbling baby.
"There's no question about it is there"
"She's mine"
I nod even though it's of no use to the situation.
It's more to confirm myself.
Lucia reaches out for me and I take her back holding her close.
Eoghan let's out a shaky breath.
"I have so much to ask"
"But I know now isn't the time to ask those questions"
He knows by my body language he knows not to question me any further.
I take a deep breath "Want to walk around?"
"Sure if you want to-"
"Do you mind pushing the stroller?"
"No of course not"
He stands next to me taking the stroller.
We start walking in silence still processing everything that's happened.
Lucia rests her head on my shoulder as she starts dozing off to sleep.
"Can we stop for a minute so I can put her in-"
"Of course"
He stops and I put the mostly asleep Lucia in the stroller,I get a blanket from the basket thing underneath the stroller and tuck it around her.
I stand up and nod signaling that we can walk on again.
We walk side by side for a few minutes.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
I take a deep breath "I was terrified of your reaction"
"I honestly never imagined that you would want anything to do with us anymore"
He nods and continues walking on deep in thought.
"I'm sorry Eoghan"
He looks at me snapped from his thoughts.
"I should have told you when I found out I was pregnant"
"Don't be sorry for anything you said yourself that you were terrified"
I look at him my lip quivering like a child's.
He puts an arm around me and the tears start falling down in endless streams.
I've suppressed these tears since I brought Lucia home from the hospital.
I completely lean into him as he holds me closer.
I hide my face as we continue to walk at an almost impossibly slow speed.
We sit down once we reach the closet bench.
I look at him and notice that he's been crying too.
We sit there in silence holding eachother.
I feel like a ton weight has been taken off my shoulders.
Perhaps it's been placed on his.
I wipe my eyes and sit up.
I can't cry like a child anymore.
Well not in public or around anyone else.
I dig through the basket under the stroller and find the tissues passing a few back to Eoghan.
He smiles and wipes his eyes taking a deep breath once finished.
"I should have tried to contact you"
"I don't think your mother would have wanted that"
"I don't think she'd want a granddaughter either"
"Don't talk like that Cassidy she'll warm up to you"
"I don't think she will especially since I never told you about Lucia"
"She'll be furious if I don't support you Cassidy"
"Believe it or not I think she sees a tiny bit of herself in you"
I'm thrown into an endless pit of confusion with that comment.
"Her family were extremely against Her and my dad being together"
She did seem like the hypocritical type when I talked to her.
Maybe we would be able to get along one day or maybe that's just wistful thinking.
I get off the bench and check on Lucia.
She's still sound asleep smuggled up in her blanket.
I kiss her cheek and stand up again.
"I need to get going"
Eoghan looks at me conflicted for words.
"C-can we meet up again soon Pom-Cassidy"
I blush when he almost calls me pomodoro.
"Sure"
I stand there for a second after replying before bidding him farewell and walk away gripping the handle bars of the stroller a little less then I did before and walking away with perhaps a little spring in my step