Sweet As Sugar

Chpt 7

Have you ever lived in a house that you used to call home.
You used to feel loved safe and protected under it's roof.
But now you want nothing more then to get out from under it.
No matter how many times you slam the door behind you or escape through a window you always end up back in the same place.
I suppose I've found my own meaning to that quote.
"You'll always find your way back home"
Jokes on them I have no home.
As I walk down the cobblestone streets every so often taking a glance at that horrid house with nothing but bad memories living in it.
There's a small red bucket on the ground.
It looks like one of those children's sand pails.
I kick it as far as I can in a fit of rage.
As I walk on I kick it over and over again until I make shit of it.
I move on leaving the pail or what's left of it behind me.
Finally I shout and scream every foul horrible curse word I can think of.
I know that people are staring at me but I don't care at this point.
Let them stare let them judge.
After my fit of rage a wave of intense Isolation hits.
I let me head hang low and walk.
Where i'm walking to I don't know.
I find a quiet street corner and sit down hugging my legs.
I don't know how long I sit there for.
Weeks months years it all went by in a blur.
I never was right in the head.
Never will be.
I've never been able to fully control my powers either.
Perhaps it's because I was scared into suppressing them when I was younger.
I used to be able to use my powers freely.
Until I opened that box.
What is in that box ruined my life.
The box was old wooden and velvet lined.
It had intricate carvings of what those carvings were I have no clue.
It had a gold latch that always seemed to shine whenever I was around, I was so young so naive so curious so innocent so incredibly stupid.
This box was always kept out of my reach but unfortunately never out of my sight
That's the one thing about human nature we're practically programmed to do what we're not supposed to do.
Especially children.
Being told not to do something or to go somewhere only makes you want to do that thing or got to that place more.
The more it's mentioned the more that desire builds.
Eventually you throw caution to the wind and ignore all warnings.
Sometimes you get away with it and it turns out to not be that big a deal, However it may be the biggest mistake of your life which you pay dearly for.
In my case I'm still paying off the debt.
The biggest feeling that sticks after the fear is the stupidity.
Knowing that if you had listed you wouldn't be were you are today.
You can run from your thoughts you can hide.
But you certainly can't escape their attacks.
Being left alone with your thoughts is perhaps one of the worst forms of mental torture in my opinion.
That hollow empty feeling.
The vaguest way to describe it is It's like you've dug yourself in a hole that you will never be able to escape.

A tear rolls down my face.
Help is always needed the most by those who don't seek it.
I'm obvious to the going on's around me.

Eoghan's pov
I wrap my arms around Cassidy.
She's as motionless as a statue.
Her face set like stone.
She's trying to fight a war as a lone soldier.
One bullet and she's gone.
I hold her hands in mine.
I sit there for hours upon hours hoping that she'd talk that she'd move.
But she's as still as a statue as solum as stone.
Eventually I get up and walk out of my room closing the door behind me.
Perhaps Chloé will have a better result then me.
I walk down the stairs and stop before the kitchen door evesdropping at their dinner time conversation.
"We should probably bring her home"
"What are we supposed to do,knock on the door and say 'Sorry our son had sex with your daughter now she's inconsolable'"
"MAM!"
"Well what else are we supposed to say Chloé"
"Anything but that would work perfectly fine"
"She obviously has some past issues that were triggered"
"Past issues?!"
"That girl is mentally ill"
"In that case we need to help her"
"It doesn't work like that Chloé"
"I think we should leave her stay for tonight and bring her back to her place in the morning"
"She can't stay here any longer Eamon"
"Eoghan is refusing to leave her side"
"She's no good for him, Not in this state anyway"
"Chloé do you know where she lives or who her parents are?"
"I don't-"
"Oh for heaven's sake!"
"Laura calm down"
I walk away from their conversation I've heard enough.
I go back upstairs and into my room.
Cassidy is laying down now staring into oblivion.
I tuck her under the cover in the bed.
It wouldn't be right to share a bed with her.
I'll crash on the couch instead.
Her phone starts ringing,'Mom' her mother is calling her.
I answer the phone.
"Hello?"
"CASS-"
"Who are you?"
"I'm a f-Friend of Cassidys"
"She's in a bad way since the party"
"What do you mean!?"
"She's lost in herself"
"Can you put her on the phone"
"I will but I don't think you'll get a response"
I hold the phone to Cassidys ear.
After a minute of the woman on the other side of the phone trying to talk to her I talked to her myself.
"Where do you live so we can drop her home?"
"Can you bring her to her dorm room instead we'll take her home from there"
We make the arrangement and I hang up.
I put her phone on the bedside locker.
I kiss her cheek,walk out of the room and close the door gentally behind me.