Sweet As Sugar

Chpt 19

(Eoghans pov)
(One year later)
"Happy birthday to you~"
Luci blows out her birthday candles and smiles as the camera flashes go off.
Another year gone bye.
Cassidy doesn't look as upset at this birthday as Luci's first birthday.
That was a disaster.
Cassidy's mother is the only person from her family to attend.
My mother cuts the cake and gives it to Luci and her friends.
Cassidy stays near her mother looking apprehensive.
Even though it's been a year Cassidy hasn't made much of an attempt to get closer to Luci.
My family and I have prompted Luci to get closer to Cassidy but after the first few tries she gave up.
It's weird how much effort Cassidy is putting into getting closer with me but not her daughter.
Chloé rubs her small bump pridefully.
Much to her delight her boyfriend knocked her up about four and a half months ago.
I don't think I've ever seen her this happy in her whole life.
Even though her bump is basically still non existent she's trying her best to make it show.
Cassidy and her joke about how their pregnancies are the exact opposites.
Chloé is driving my mother crazy with questions about pregnancy and Motherhood.
Luci hasn't been told about her having a baby yet just incase.
Luci and her friends finish the cake and run off to go play.
We pile the paper plates and plastic forks in the middle of the table so the employees who have to clean up after us won't have to scramble around for miscellaneous forks or something.
Finally we sit down and make awkward small talk.
Cassidy rests her head on my shoulder and I feel a small bit uncomfortable.
Usually I don't care but for some reason it's making me uncomfortable.
I excuse myself and go to the bathroom.
I stand at the sink and look in the mirror.
Every time I look in a mirror it becomes more and more of a struggle.
My father walks into the bathroom and looks at me contemplating what to say.
He eventually finds his words.
"Do you love her?"
I stare at the floor looking for words myself.
Do I?
I really don't know anymore.
I mean her not wanting anything to do with Luci definitely is affecting our relationship.
I just don't understand why she doesn't want anything to do with Lucia.
My dad takes my silence as his answer.
I really need to talk about Luci with Cassidy.
"Dad why do you think Cassidy doesn't want anything to do with Luci?"
"Maybe she's scared?"
"Why would she be scared?"
"I think it's because it's obvious that Luci is after inheriting some of her powers if not completely inherited them"
The realisation hits me like a ton of bricks.
Of course Lucia has inherited Cassidy's powers.
She doesn't act like a normal six year old.
She's too smart too far ahead.
For heaven's sake she acts more like an Eight year old.
How didn't I acknowledge it until now.
It's so obvious.
I feel like face palming but restrain my actions.
"Don't tell me you didn't realise until now?"
I nod my head shamefully.
How could I not notice.

Laura's pov
(Laura is Eoghans mother)
Chloe is back to asking me never ending questions.
Cassidy is resting her head on her mother's shoulder they seem deep into a whispered conversation.
"Mam do you think having twins will be harder then one baby?"
I'm snapped from my thoughts.
"Twins?!?"
"Yeah I found out at the last appointment that I'm having twins"
I put my arm around her shoulder and pull her close.
"All I can say is good luck Chloe, you'll need it"
She relaxes and rests again me.
"Mam I don't know if I'm ready for this-"
I rub her arm comforting her.
"Chloe the truth to all of those questions is that nobody is ever truly ready to have kids"
"No amount of preparing and planning can changes what's going to happen"
"You've just gotta go with the flow and take what comes at you"
She nods and thinks and for the first time since she found out she's pregnant she has no more questions to ask.
"The best general advice I can give you is this though"
She turns her head and looks at me.
"If you ever do feel anxious and panicked never show it in front of the kids,Once you panic the kids will panic and when the kids panic it's game over"
She looks confused by my words looking at me quizzically.
"Mam why would I be panicked?"
I breathe a laugh at her question and shake my head.
"Darling you have so much ahead of you,Try to live in the present"
She turns her head away from me and nuzzles closer to me.
Some things never change.
Even though she's all grown up and soon going to have kids of her own I still see that curious little girl in her.
I hope she doesn't have pregnancies like mine.
I lost two babies one before Chloe and one after her.
I haven't told my kids about this and I don't ever plan on doing so.
Nobody wants to hear my sob story about how crippling the grief,shame and guilt was.
People all around me telling me that it wasn't my fault and that these things happen.
It didn't fully click with me until Chloe was about 8 or 9.
I didn't understand I had Eoghan and everything went amazing.
Then I lost a baby.
I didn't understand why,I wasn't doing anything different as I was when I was pregnant with Eoghan.
Then I had Chloe although extremely cautious and paranoid the whole time I carried to full term and didn't have any complications.
Then when Chloé was about two or three I got pregnant again.
When I lost that baby I said never again although I've always wanted another kid.
I just couldn't put myself through it again.
Eamon delt with the losses differently to me but in my opinion ultimately got over them quicker.
Although Eoghan was very young when Lucia was born she was a blessing in disguise.
And when Cassidy left it almost turned out for the better.
I got my chance to raise another kids and show Eoghan the ropes.
Lucia made our whole family closer as a whole.
I'm now realising my mistakes when it comes to how I treated Cassidy.
I just wanted the best for my son but I guess what I think is best for him isn't necessarily what's best.
But I guess the thing is.
Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans.