𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐆𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐓 ‣ 𝙳𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚘 𝙼𝚊𝚕𝚏𝚘𝚢 ✓

- Closest to Heaven I'll ever be -

Hello my love nuggets! Consider this a warning that this chapter will not include any smut, so please don't come at me that you're disappointed! This story is a place to feel the purest emotions like this chapter is about trust, happiness and love. Hope you'll enjoy and get some brooms flying around your stomach while reading it. Thanks for your support!

- Present -

We enter my tiny apartment as I am exhausted from work. There isn't much room for anything to be, except for the little space where I keep dancing with you. It's not that I couldn't afford to buy a house, it's just that I don't want to. Being alone in a huge house would make me feel alone and I am so sick of being so lonely. 

When I talked with my mother about how my future will look like, I never imagined it to be this. But it's okay I think. It's okay.

"Do you remember this one special night we had my love?" I ask you as I'm changing my clothes to go to bed.

"There were a lot of nights to remember Draco" you say as if you are tired.

 I have to think for a moment. You're dead, you can't be tired right? But I can imagine that it was a lot today to process.

"The night we made love for the first time I mean. I just had to think about it one more time, I don't know why actually. It just makes me happy my love" I mumble being somewhere else with my thoughts. 

"If you remember me Draco I don't care if anybody else forgets about me" you answer, letting me speechless as your answer didn't fit the question. Did you forget about it and don't want to let me know? Maybe you are tired of me remembering the life you lost..

- past-

"Your heart breaks so easily" I whispered as I wiped your tears away one more time. 

"I don't want it to. It's just.. sometimes it's hard to be with you Draco" you smiled a bit through your tears.

- before -

"Shouting it doesn't make it any more possible Draco!!" you screamed at me full of anger.

"Then why are you shouting as well?!" I mocked you. You got on my nerves so bad I just had to scream. 

"Unless you wouldn't even hear me!" you started crying. "Please listen to me. I have a lot to say!"

"You always do Heaven." I hissed a little.

"Shut up Malfoy and listen!" you screamed so loud I had to twitch. You never called me Malfoy before, I realized that I may have gone too far. I stopped walking through my dorm and stared at you.

"There is no need to be this jealous Draco. It's ridiculous. It's always the same. You see me talking to some guy and you go crazy, that is not how it is supposed to be, don't you understand? Don't you understand that being trusted is more of a compliment than being loved? Loving is easy, trusting isn't. And you don't trust me at all even though you don't have a reason for it. I'd never cheat on you ever. It hurts me that you think of me this way Draco."

"It is not about you Heaven." I mumbled.

"I know it isn't Draco. It's about you. It is about you not trusting in yourself and this hurts me as well. Why do you still think of yourself this way if you pretend to be happy with the person you have become? I don't understand why you can't just .. love yourself. I do love you Draco but this isn't enough as long as you don't love the person you are. You could spend years getting the recognition of others 'cause you want them to believe that you're a good person but it won't matter as long as you don't believe it yourself. I understand that me talking to Harry or Blaise can be triggering for you as you don't have a lot of self-esteem. I understand that you get really angry at me and at the guys but I don't understand why you can't control yourself and start hating yourself even more because of something I did without the intention of hurting you. I'd never hurt you Draco. I love you and there's never going to change anything about it." you nearly stuttered because you were so lost of hope. I remember how this hurt me. I remember how I felt because you were right. I didn't love myself and I needed to change this. I am now really proud of myself and of the person I have become. I love myself and I stand for what I am. I did learn to love myself on my own, nobody helped me. You just gave me the support I needed to start appreciating myself.