𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐆𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐓 ‣ 𝙳𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚘 𝙼𝚊𝚕𝚏𝚘𝚢 ✓

- The one who's broken -

- Present-

It's so heavy in the morning to wake up. I am soaking up the golden rays that shine through my window. I try to bathe in the quiet before my paradise of dreams is destroyed by the storm to come. I rub my eyes and look right next to me. There you are, my lost love. Staring right back at me like you do every day for a few weeks. Every time I look at you, it seems like I notice something different about you. A new freckle. A new hair which has a different color than it should. A new wrinkle, where none should be at your age. 

Without saying good morning to you, I get out of bed. I got used to you. I got used to you being there, not being there. Whatever. I don't really care anymore about anything. I don't. I go right to the tiny kitchen which is in the same room as my bed and get myself a coffee. I don't feel like going to work today. I don't. So I go towards my precious Feline and hand her a small letter, addressed to the St Mungo's Hospital. I won't go to work today. As she spreads her beautiful white wings and looks at me with big orange eyes, I recognize myself getting lost in them. 

"She's still the most ambitious owl, isn't she?" your voice interrupts my thinking. I turn around and nod in silence. 

"So you won't talk to me today?" your voice gets a bit angry as I continue to walk through the room, trying to do anything besides looking at you. 

With every day that passes, with every day that you are with me, all day all night, it gets harder for me to move on. The feeling which once was love turns slowly but sure into something else. I don't want it to be this way, Heaven. I didn't want chaos. All I wanted was you. And now.. there's probably no one else I would love to hate more than you. I know damn well that you don't belong in this world anymore but can I let you go? Can I go on without you? I don't think I can do this either. So I let every day pass as it should and wait for another day to come. I don't know what I expect to come the next day, but I am still hoping something does. 

"Draco!" you suddenly scream and I nearly drop the mug in my hand. I stare at you with raised eyebrows and my face full of anger. Why'd you scream at me? Don't you see that I don't want to talk? I wanted you to respect my boundaries like you always did, but instead, you just overstepped.

I run my fingers through my not done hair and sigh. "You broke me Heaven. You broke me. You are.. breaking me." The last words aren't nearly heard as my voice gets quieter with every word.

"Well. You broke me first Draco" 

- past -

The strong smell of alcohol and smoke approached my nose and made me shiver for a second. To cover it up, I took another sip of my Firewhiskey and glanced across the room. 

"So you're not dancing tonight Draco?" I heard Pansy's voice behind me. I turned around and looked into her hazel brown eyes and shook my head. I wasn't in the mood to dance today at all. I didn't know that later I was going to be. Pansy took my hand and tried to drag me onto the dancefloor in the middle of the Hufflepuff common room, where Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws danced like they never tasted a single drop of alcohol on their innocent lips. I let go of Pansy's hand and shook my head once again, sipping my Whiskey.

"Where's Heaven? When she's with you, you're more fun Draco. Come on, relax! Have fun" Pansy nearly shouted to be heard through the loud weird music. I felt like I did a time warp to the 70ies. Baggy trousers and flowers in my hair are still missing to fit into a place and time, I'd never want to be in.

"I don't know where she is. Haven't seen her in three days since.. we .. the fight." My voice was still hoarse due to all the screaming you and I did back then. 

- present -

"I wonder how it would have been if you slept with her.." you mumble while your barefoot feet slide over the wooden floor of my appartement. 

"I never wondered how it would have been. " I smile, broken deep down. If my smile would be a mosaic right now, then slowly the tiny stones would go missing. 

I recognize one single tear hitting the floor in front of me. There are no tears left to cry. I am looking forward to the end and it doesn't even seem to be hard. I see it clear in front of me. 

I watch as paradise is hit by the storm.

To be continued ..