Part 33: And Then It Happened

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June's point of view

Well, I'm pretty lost right now. I don't know whether to leave or stay. To hold on or to give up. To trust Michael or not when he says that things will ge better now. My heart is telling me to stay, but my mind is telling me to leave. That's a complicated situation, because I don't know which one I should listen. I wish I could talk to my dad or Julian. I could call Anna, but she seems upset these days. After I told her about me and Michael, she act all weird with me, like she's not that happy for us. She loves him a lot, and she loves me too, I don't see where's the matter... As a conclusion, I can't call her. I can't talk to her about what happens in my relationship if it makes her upset or something. It's sad, because she's supposed to be my best friend... I feel like I have no one to talk to but my mother. And Michael, of course, but I can't talk to him about this because he is involved in this situation... Speaking about Michael, he's in the bathroom to take a shower right now, and I'm on the bed, looking up at the ceilling, thinking. Maybe I am overracting again about this whole situation. I don't know, I'm so freaking lost! I hate being so indecisive. On the one hand, I want to leave for our relationship's sake. I want to leave so that Michael can focus on his tour, on his career, on his fans. He needs to be 100% focused and give his best for his fans. They are so supportive and loving, he can't do that to them, he can't just be distracted or something because of me. I won't let this happen. Never. I've been a fan of Michael for years, and I know how it feels like. I remembered when he had this accident during the Pepsi commercial, he left the stage for awhile, and I was so upset, but so sad at the same time. Right now, it's kind of the same situation: obviously, Michael would physically be here, but his mind would be focused on me, so he won't gave his best. That's how I see things, and I'm pretty sure I'm right about this. On the other hand, I want to stay. I want to stay because I need Michael by my side. Why? Because I'm freaking in love with him. I'm not afraid to say it anymore. It's like I've known him for a thousand years, like we are meant to be. I can feel it in my guts. Everytime this man touches me, kisses me, holds me and even speaks to me, I feel butterflies all over my stomach. It's the very first time this happens in my life. Like I said before, I've been in a relationship for three years with Greg, but in three years I never felt that. I tried hard to love him, because I thought he was a really good guy (before he cheated on me, of course) with whom I could have spent my life with. With Michael it's different. I didn't have to try hard, because I think I've loved him the very first time I actually met him. I felt butterflies when he looked deep in my eyes for the very first time, but I didn't wanted to admitt it. I was scared, I lied to myself. Now I'm not scared anymore, because I think Michael is the love of my life, that he is my "one true love" as my dad loved to say. I wish he could be here to see me with Michael, to see how much he makes me happy even though we've been through a couple of issues these days. The only thing I am sure about right now, is that I love Michael Jackson. Yes, I repeat it a lot, but I really mean it. I could tell him I love him all day long if I had the chance to. 
That's right, June. You love him, now go in that bathroom and show him how much you do love him! Wait, what? This conscience is killing me. Should I really come in that bathroom to make love to my man? Um... It's not that I don't want it, I really do want it, believe me. The sexual tension has been so high these days between us, but everytime someone ruined our moment. Now, if I go in this bathroom, we couldn't be interrupted, right? 

Crap, I already washed my hair today... Fuck it, June! Go in there and make love to this drop dead georgous man in the shower! 

I jumped out from the bed, and made my way to the mirror. I took a quick look at my self, and breathe in and out to relax. Shit, I almost forgot my birth control pill! I quickly smallowed it with some watter and breathed out one more time. When I was ready, I made my way to the bathroom. I opened the door very slowly and quietly, and closed it the same way. I want him to be surprised. He was humming "Girlfriend", a song from his "Off the Wall" album. I stripped my nightdress away, and opened the shower door very slowly. Hopefully, Michael had his back turned, so he couldn't see me. God, this butt of his is everything. It's perfectly shaped, it looks like a baby's butt in a sexier way... I can't even explain that straight. 

I closed the shower door behind me, and put my arms around Michael's waist. He jumped a little by surprise and stopped humming the song. He turned over to face me, and rubbed his eyes to take a good look at me. He watched my from my toes to my head with a suprise look on his face. I did the same thing, and wow. I mean wow.

"What are you doing here?" he asked me, quite surprised.

"Making breakfast, duh" I said, and rolled my eyes playfully before closing the shower's door behind me.

He tilted his head a little, and I made my way closer to him, wrapping my arms around his neck. He put his hands on my hips, and pulled me even closer to him.

"You sure you wanna do this?" he asked me, only inches from my lips, "and here?" 

"More sure than ever" I answered. I then kissed him passionately, running my fingers through his hair. 

It felt likes ages I didn't have someone that close to me. I had only have one man before Michael with whom I was sexually active, and even though I wasn't showing it, I was a nervous wreck. I didn't know what went through my mind to do such a bold action. It wasn't like me to do such a thing. 

But I knew why I did it. I trusted Michael enough to show him this side of my personality, and to give him my entire soul and body, to abandon myself to him completely. 

And this is exactly what I did in that shower: I gave myself completely to him as a sign of my trust and love for him. I was on cloud nine, and I never intended to come down. I knew nothing could come in our way and ruin eveything.

But I tend to speak too fast. 

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