Nightmares

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'Seo Jin,' I said as he took me home after we had our dessert. He followed me when I allowed him to do so. 'Thank you for tonight.'

He smiled, and I must say, he has the sweetest smile among all the men I have ever seen in my life. I have had enough dates, once or twice meeting if that was counted, but nothing like this. He made me feel like I am the most important woman in his life, at least for tonight.

'You're welcome, Yeon Hong,' he replied, scratching his nape. I could tell from the sight that he felt shy still.

'Where is the cheekiness now, Mr. Gu?' I asked. He could only smile at me.

'I guess it feels different now,' he replied.

'In what way?'

'Just, different.'

He was right. It's kind of different now that we both acknowledged that attraction between us, subtly. But even if we did, we haven't really talked about it formally. I smiled at him and as I locked the door to my car, he approached me.

'When can I see you again?' he asked. I could tell from the sound of his voice that he was nervous.

Eager to tease him, and give a subtle answer, I leaned on to kiss him on his cheek.

'You come everyday to the cafe, remember?' I said.

'I mean, like this?' he asked, looking deep into my eyes. His eyes spoke of honesty, and I felt somehow uneasy knowing that I have a skeleton in my closet. I was thinking to myself, but then I smiled at him.

'Anytime you want to. Good night, Mr. Gu.' I said as I walked to the door to my house. When I got in, I heaved out a big sigh. I had been holding such for the whole time we were together, and then closed my eyes. I guess it was that feeling of an uncertainty that is in my heart that made me react this way. I went to wash up and retire for the night, as a lot of things were in my head right now.

Sleeping on it all just might help.

'Appa, appa, please don't leave,' I said as I looked at my father who was packing his things. He never listened to me and just continued what he was doing. It seemed like he didn't hear me.

'Appa!' I shouted, but then I felt that I was coming out of breath everytime I said a word or moved. I wanted to hold him but something was pulling me down. I could not get to him, and slowly he turned into something else that was far from my darkest dreams.

He turned into a monster I do not even want to see. Closing my eyes, I searched for something to help me unsee that thing, and I remembered how to pray. I prayed hard and fervently to make me wake up from this terrible nightmare. I was sinking deeper and deeper and short of oxygen until I relaxed my mind and body, subconsciously. Slowly, slowly I began to recover and opened my eyes, I sat up, pinched myself and continued praying still.

It was only when I calmed down when I began to cry. I was hunted by the demons that had been bugging me, and I thought it was my past coming back to me, paying me a visit. I got up and even though it was still dark outside, I decided to do something to divert my attention. I went to the kitchen and did what I always do when I am attacked by nightmares.

I baked goodies and brought them to the cafe.

'Hey gurl!' Hyo Jin called me up as I entered the cafe, bringing in the goodies I baked. There were two batches of blueberry cheesecake and another two for carrot cake. I gave it to her, then took off my Tom Ford glasses, revealing my droopy eyes.

'What happened?' she asked. We were the only people in the cafe, for now.

'Another bout,' I replied as I pinched my nose bridge. She gave me a glass of cold water, and I took it all in one go.

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