Clear and Present Danger

Second Chance

The scent of wild flowers wafted throughout the whole expanse of the field where Tae Pyung and I walked on. I smiled remembering all the things that happened to us while we were here, quite some time ago. It allowed me to look back at all the things that were us.

He was never short at loving me, in fact even when he knew who I was he continued to love me. I guess it was more of a feeling for him and I feel like I was already a part of his life then. As he is to me. Before I knew him everything was just focused on the revenge I concocted with Hyo Jin to get back at the people who wronged us. But when he came, he was like a beacon of light at the end of the tunnel I have come myself unto. The nightmares had ended when he was there and it only resurfaced when we lost our child. I would wake up in the middle of the night crying my heart out. As the nights went on I mastered the art of crying in silence, or even leaving him in bed and going to the bathroom just to let out all the emotions that had eaten me up, because of a split second decision that had gone wrong.

And as that beacon, he journeyed with me until I would be able to get out of that tunnel. Even more than that.

'Yeobo,' he called. His deep baritone voice no one can match. It was like music to my ears.

I looked at him and replied. 'Yes?'

He took my hand and led me to the lagoon that looked so wonderful in the bright afternoon sun. It was the same place where we talked about why it was peaceful. I never knew what his answer was, but as I looked back at the time, I was reminded myself that lagoons are peaceful because they are sitting in there, allowing themselves to be undisturbed and nonchalant about the things around them. The water is stagnant, and somehow it needed a push from an outside force to make it move and be clean.

The sun was up, but the spring breeze provided the coolness in contrast to it. He made me sit on the log that was provided and as he sat beside me, he looked far away onto the other end of it.

'Are you happy, yeobo?' he asked. Simple question, but definitely had a lot of feelings and emotions involved.

'Why are you asking me that, yeobo?' I replied, then turned to look at him. As he looked back, I continued.

'When you know that I am happy whenever you are around.'

He smiled and held me closer to him. There was something strange about him, but I felt that he wanted to tell me something so I eased up. Waiting for him to say it was like waiting for the rain to happen on a warm, summer day.

'Yeobo,' he said after a few moments. He then took a deep breath. I waited for him to continue.

'Can we try again?' he asked, as he looked my way. His face was gentle, his voice was not authoritative. It was as if he waited for me to confirm if I was ready.

I knew what he meant. There were moments when I asked myself, am I ready? Am I ready to embrace the frustration everytime the results come out as negative? Because personally, I have already resigned myself to whatever it is that was in store for us.

'It's okay if you are not yet ready, yeobo,' he said when I was unable to answer him. 'I will wait for you.'

I took a deep breath and answered him, while holding his hand in mine tightly.

'Honestly, I am actually getting tired of undergoing the tests, yeobo. And I know that everytime I tell you it's negative, you feel as frustrated as I am. You are just good at hiding it. But I know how you feel,' I replied, as tears started to fall down from my eyes. I know how much he loved kids, because everytime we visit Hyo Jin, he plays with her son.

Hyo Jin got married to a fellow NIS officer who helped her likewise in her recruitment and training. Since then, she swore that she has never been happier. I could actually see it too, and that made me happy for her likewise.