The Fallen Widow

23. Shift of Power

The walls of the haveli were stifling like they were caving in. It was supposed to be a secret. Meh'r-Bano was left stunned, the core of stomach burned ice cold. After the heated exchange, Shah-Nawaz discovered the truth that her father was alive. The promise she gave her father; now broken. Why didn't she listen to her father?
Making her way through the courtyard, she headed to the front entrance gate. She needed to leave. To be alone. To find her head space. Inside the grounds she felt like she was being watched, by the maids, the guards, the walls. Everyone knew. Walking past the fountain, she approached the guard standing at the gates.
"I need to leave." Her eyes bowed staring at the ground, her heart pounded with fear. She couldn't breathe.
"I can't. I have orders." Said the guard. Meh'r-Bano panicked. Had Shah-Nawaz imprisoned her?
"I need to go home!" her hands balled into fists of frustration.
"Your shift hasn't finished." The guard held the rifle securely in front of his chest to show her he was serious.
"Where are you going?" Asked Nadeem who appeared from the corner.
"I need to go. They won't open the gate." She pleaded to Nadeem.
"Open the gate." Meh'r-Bano rubbed her forehead in worry. "Please. Please!"
"Why? Do you need to go to the grand bazaar again?" Said Nadeem with contempt laced in his tone.
Meh'r-Bano eyes darted at Nadeem. Did he know what she did with his shoes?
Nadeem glared at her. The teacher looked innocent, simple, and harmless in her red ensemble. But underneath the guise she was a conniving and a dangerous woman. Why did he offer to help her? Why did he give his shoes to her? Now, Wajahat Ali was sniffing around like a hound dog who'd caught a scent. If Wajahat Ali found out that the shoes belonged to him, his family would face utter disgrace and humiliation. All because of Meh'r-Bano. Nadeem was terrified to tell anyone the truth. Would Meh'r-Bano land him in trouble?

Once the gates opened, Meh'r-Bano didn't look back. She pinned her dupatta firmly over her head and clutched it under her chin running along the side of the road. Where was she going? She didn't know. Lorries with jangling metal passed her by their wheels leaving a dust cloud in her face. She coughed, losing her balancing and landing on the soft soil in the field. The tall corn crops invited her for refuge. She reached out creating a gap, to enter and ran until her legs gave way. She fell on her knees, her knees digging into the soil. It was safe here.
"Oh abu! I broke your promise." With her face buried in her hands she cried softly. "You made me promise, and I broke your promise. He knows everything." Everyone believed her father was dead. Even her best friend Tasneem.
Two weeks after she entered Jahanpur as Shafiq's wife, Meh'r-Bano learned her father was arrested for the murder of a student. Meh'r-Bano made a secret phone call to her father's lawyer from the public call office in the local bazaar. It was on Thursday at two o' clock in the afternoon, her father's grave voice like thunder instructed her.
"Don't ever come back to the valley. Ever! It's not safe her." His voice void of emotion.
"Abu, please don't do this to me. Don't forsake me. I hate it here. I don't want to stay here. How will I live without you?" She held the corded phone with both her hands pressing hard against her ear.
"This is no time for sentiments, Hoorayn." A desperation throbbing in his voice. "You don't know what is happening out here. I need to ensure you are safe. Shafiq is a good and honest man. He will look after you."
Meh'r-Bano sobbed unable to accept Shafiq.
"Abbu-" She pleaded. "I need you. Take me away from here."
"You can't tell anyone what happened here. Do you hear me?"
"But what if Shafiq asks, what do I say?"
"Nouman Ghalib is dead" His voice thick with authority. "Hoorayn Ghalib also died with him. From now on, you will be known only as Meh'r-Bano. No one must know you're Nouman Ghalib's daughter. Don't you ever invite the shame that is smeared on my forehead to your husband's family. They will never accept you. They must never know what happened to me. There is no one to look after you. Only Shafiq will take care of you." Nouman finalised making sure his daughter was safe from the stain of his name.
"But you haven't done anything wrong." Meh'r-Bano sobbed. "Abbu-"
"You believe me beti, but the world does not. Your father is dead to the world."She
cried into the telephone when it dawned on her that she may never see her father again. The evidence was solid against him and he accepted his fate.
"What do I tell Shafiq? I can't lie to him."
"You are a clever girl. You will think of something. Tell him you received the news late and I died in an accident and have been buried." The details didn't matter, as long as she was in Jahanpur and safe.
"I can't lie. I can't keep up an act, abu. You are innocent. Shafiq will understand." She pleaded for a last time. Maybe there was a chance to leave Jahanpur.
"No!" Nouman drilled into his daughter's head the heavy price he had to pay to protect her. But Meh'r-Bano yearned for her father, to see him, to hold him.
"Make your life in Jahanpur. Jahanpur is your future. Keep your head down and don't draw attention to yourself. Do you promise, my sweetheart?" His voice softened threatening to break.
With a heavy heart,Meh'r-Bano promised her father as it tore her world apart. Neelam Valley washer past. Jahanpur was now her home and Meh'r-Bano struggled with the painfulreality. She spent the next few weeks crying in her bed knowing she would neverreturn to Neelam Valley and see her father. Shafiq put it down to mourning forhis death. Jahanpur was a world away from Neelam Valley, she struggled to livein a mud house, with basic amenities and no recourse to education. Jahanpur wasa punishment. In that painful year Meh'r-Bano saw no hope. In a desperate bidto visit the Neelam Valley to feel closer to her father. She lied about herfather's grave and visited Neelam valley every year even if it was to breath the fresh mountain air. 
Now, Shah-Nawaz learned of the truth. Would he tell Shafiq?
"I'll tell Shafiq the truth." She whispered in the fields. But wouldhe believe that her father is innocent and didn't kill the student? The burdenof explaining to Shafiq dawned on her.
"Why didn't I keep my head down?" She wiped her moist cheeks with herdupatta. "Abu, I need you so much."