The Fallen Widow

22. Dance of Ruination

The night was long, with gusty howling winds keeping Meh'r-Bano awake. It wasn't just the weather but her thoughts that kept her awake. The night in the barn played over and over in her mind stealing the tiredness from her eyes. When she thought of Shah Nawaz she grabbed the pillow and pressed it against her chest.
"I can't stop thinking of you, Bulbul. You drive me crazy."
"You feel it." Meh'r-Bano replied. "You feel the same?"
"I need you like the sun, the air and water and then there's my Bulbul."

Meh'r-Bano ran her hand over her chin and her mouth where Shah Nawaz brushed his lips. They were close, so close to kissing but she couldn't and pushed him away. This was wrong. What next? Their love was doomed. She was married and he was king of Jahanpur- there was no way their love would blossom. It was stupid, Meh'r-Bano shook her head. A crazy dream where nothing could come true. Her mind played of hundred of ways which they could be together and share their love, but nothing worked out.

When the thoughts drove her insane she took her pen and her notebook and began to collect her whirlwind thoughts and dreams. The dreams, her fears and everything in between. From the day they met by accident at the bazaar, to the day he imprisoned her and then from the hate, anger and bitterness dissolved into deep soul filled love.

Where do I start? Do I wish I never laid eyes on him? That I never encountered him in the bazaar? Then this day wouldn't manifest. Maybe, part of me does- maybe it doesn't. But where has fate thrown me?

It was late that afternoon when Kaneez cried out in the courtyard when she clapped her eyes on her son's sorry state.
"Hai Allah! What have they done to you?" Kaneez ran to her bloody son who limped in and wiped the blood from his bleeding lip. Kaneez quickly put his arm over her shoulder and supported him inside.
"Who did this to you? May he rot in hell!" She cried out.
Meh'r-Bano rushed out of her room and made her way to her husband following the cry. She gasped when she saw Shafiq's bloody face. He'd been in a fight.
"Go girl! Go get some towels, water and plaster. Fast!"
"Don't fuss ammi." Shafiq couldn't speak properly, his left side of was aching. Mushtaq punched him hard.
"Tell me. What happened?"
"I'm going to kill that bastard! I will kill him with my bare hands!" Shafiq threatened.
Meh'r-Bano returned with a bowl of water and clean towels.
"This water is cold you silly girl! Get warm water!" Kaneez yelled.
"What is she doing home?" Shafiq questioned.
"Ask her- I don't know anything about her anymore. She comes and goes as she pleases." Kaneez fanned the flames.
Shafiq gritted his teeth. "I know-" He shook his head sending fear through Meh'r-Bano's spine.
"What happened?" Kaneez pushed her son's chin towards her and he hissed in pain.
"That bastard Muhstaq he steals bikes and hides them in my garage. I didn't know this when I made him a partner. He changes the number plates and sprays them to change their colour and sells them for a fat profit." Shafiq spat blood on the floor.
"I confronted him at the garage-"

Meh'r-Bano returned with a bowl of warm water and Kaneez began wiping the blood as he hissed with pain. The altercation at the garage became violent and the bazaar customers and shop workers dragged Mushtaq and Shafiq apart with Shafiq threatening Mushtaq with death threats.
"If the haveli hear of this they will throw me off the land. I cannot be involved in stolen motorbikes. He has disgraced my name as this woman!" He glared at Meh'r-Bano.
"Ammi everyone in bazaar knows- they all know. She has disgraced me."
Meh'r-Bano face filled with fear and turned red.
"What has she done now?" Kaneez raised her eyebrow.
Shafiq stood up on his limp leg. "Why are you home? I left you at the darbar to pray for our future; our child."
Meh'r-Bano stepped back. "I was impure, I couldn't stay my prayers wouldn't be answered."
"So where did you go?"
Kaneez stood behind her son.
"Where?!" He yelled.
"I don't remember anything."
"She's lying ammi. She was -she left the darbar and people saw her leaving Manghal haveli in the early hours of the morning. Everyone knows."
Meh'r-Bano shook her head. "That's not true."
"So they're all lying?" Said Shafiq.
"It's not like that- you have to believe me." She backed away.
"What were you doing at THAT haveli? Dancers, prostitutes and cheap women spend their seedy nights there! Why were you there all night?"