Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind - Treebros

Chapter 8: "World's Expanding"

Saturday, October 13th

Slowly, slowly, I had stopped being nervous around Connor. Well, as nervous anyway. But it wasn't him that makes me nervous. It's everything that makes me nervous.

Right now, however, it is him that's making me nervous. He's gonna be here any minute now and for the first time, we're spending time together, in person, without school as a buffer. What if this display of less-filtered me is what does it? What if it finally makes him realize that I'm a background character and have the personality to match?

Because he's so bright. A star. And it's like he doesn't understand how bright he shines. Connor's funny, and kind, and creative, and smart, and weird.

And I'm not.

I'm none of those things.

In 4th grade, we all had to go around and say our favorite thing about each of our classmates. When it got to me, everyone said I was quiet. And even then I knew that no one was saying that they liked that I was quiet. That was the only thing they knew about me, because there was nothing else to me.

And now that it's just going to be him and I, Connor's going to realize that.

My phone vibrates from my pocket. I lunge for it, hoping that it's Connor and not Jared asking about homework or something.

Conowo: hey

Conowo: we're like 5 minutes away

Me: Okay

Shit.

Shaking, I creep down the stairs and into the living room. From the couch, I can see the street outside. This way I can watch for Connor without him seeing me and knowing that I've been anxiously waiting. My leg jiggles. Time has never passed so slowly.

"Hey. How are you?" Mom asks, from behind me and I spin around.

"Wh- Mom. Hi- I. What, what are you doing home?" I ask. She's smiling, but it's strained. Almost a grimace. That's how she's been lately. I don't know why, but I just get the feeling that she's mad at me. I don't know what I did, though.

"Well I figured I'd bag a shift and we could go to Bellhouse today, like I was talking about last week. We haven't done that in a while, huh? And, I heard about these neat scholarship essay contests on NPR the other day and printed some out for you. We should go over them!" she suggests. I feel so bad about what I have to say.

"Oh. Yeah, um. I can't," I decline, gazing back out the window.

"What? You can't? Why not?" Mom asks, sounding a little too surprised. And upset.

"I'm busy?" I elaborate, unable to keep the hesitance out of my voice. She must think I'm lying now.

"With what? Homework? Are you hanging out with Jared? Or is it that new friend you told me all about?" She sounds accusing, and even more upset. Then I see her glance at my cast.

She's upset that I'm friends with Connor.

No, she can't be. Mom doesn't know anything about him. But she sounded so hurt when I told her that we'd been friends for a month.