Corrupted Little Mate

II

*Lincoln's Pov*

I woke up stiff as a board, even though I got a bigger more comfortable couch sleeping on it every night for weeks takes a toll.

Basel hasn't really said much to me since our last fight, he cooks super and asks me how my day was after that he sort of just shuts down. I know it's my fault but I don't know how to get out of the mess that's been going on for a year now.

Every time one of us tries talking to each other we end up fighting. I don't even remember the last time I actually held Basel a full nights sleep.

I couldn't bring myself to touch him too much, even now. I know he says he forgives me but his constant night terrors make me think different. He always wakes up screaming my name or reaching out for me, I'm just confused.

Lazer trys to help and push me to reconnecting with him, it doesn't seem to do much.

Lately I've engrossed myself in my duties as Beta, leaving Basel home alone. He still doesn't get out as much as he should and I figured it was just past fears.

"Lincoln?"

Cainis' voice rang through my pondering.

"Sorry."

"It's okay we're done here for today anyway, go home."

"If you can call it that." I mumbled.

"Look, I don't know what's been going through your mind but it's catching up to you. Fix it before you end up regretting it."

He was right.

I stood up and headed back to the house and for the first time in the last year I craved Basel's touch. I opened the door getting hit with the smell of lasagna and vegetables.

"Just in time."

Basel said, the same thing he always does.

"Smells good."

I tried encouraging more from him.

He only nodded and grabbed plates, I went over helping him set the table. He gave me a weird look but let me. When we sat down he served the lasagna with steamed green beans, my favorite.

"How was your day?"

The same thing he always says.

"How was your day Basel?" I tried again.

"Glad you remember my name." He shot back.

This was why we don't talk, he snaps too easily and I get angry fast.

"Aren't you just lucky to have a mate like me?"

It was said far from being nice.

"If that."

It was barely voiced but I still heard it.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Exactly what it sounded like."

"Stop talking like I can read your fucking mind Basel."

"Oh my name twice in one night, how did I ever get so lucky."

"Fuck you."

I snapped, hurt crossed his face briefly before disappearing.

"That's your problem, enjoy your dinner. I'm going to bed."

He stood up, picking his plate up and bringing it to the kitchen.

I followed after him, I don't know why,  I couldn't let him sleep mad at me tonight but I was still angry.

"You're mad because I won't fuck you?"

He attempted at avoiding the fight by trying to leave for the bedroom but I blocked him.

"I'm not in the mood Lincoln."

"Well I am, so is that your problem?" He glared at me.

"It's not because you won't fuck me as you so disgustingly put it."

"Then what?"

I had calmed, simply asking now.

"You don't touch me period, I have to beg for a simple kiss on the forehead? Plead with you to hug me? Why Lincoln, why do I have to be the one crying myself to sleep night after night while you sleep soundly without me? How is it fair to me to hurt so much because of my own mate? This is not how it's supposed to feel."

He finished with a glisten of tears in his eyes.

I didn't know, how could I have not thought about my Basel? So fragile and scared just wanting his mate to be their emotionally but I had my own doubts.

"I don't know what they did to you completely Basel. After watching Sage make you do those things I keep imagining what else they could've done, it makes me sick. I'm just scared, okay? I'm scared you blame me and don't really forgive me. I'm scared any move I make can bring you back to that place and those tortures, I'm just scared."

My anger was replaced by desperation.

"I make you sick, don't I? Not that they did those things but the fact that I let it happen, right?"

"How could you think that?"

I was stupefied at him.

"You want to know Lincoln? Fine. They shoved sticks, bottles, poles and even their fingers inside of me over and over again but they never put their dick in, is that what you wanted to hear? That they violated me so bad my own mate doesn't want to touch me? Am I still too filthy for you Lincoln? God I'm an idiot to think you'd still love me after those bastards used me."

"That's not true Basel, I love you." 

"Really? Then why won't you touch me and I'm not talking about sexually. You don't think I haven't noticed the way you tense up ever time I beg you to hold me at night or the way you pull back too fast if you accidentally touch me. I may be weak but I'm not stupid."

"I'm sorry Basel, I'm so sorry."

I stepped closer cupping his cheek.

"No you're not, I need to get away from you."

He threw my hand away and used my shock as a chance to pass me.

I heard him come back from the bedroom before my body acted and I grabbed him.

"Why are you doing this Basel?"

"The question is why didn't I do this sooner. I've been putting up with being treated like a child instead of your mate for a year and I'm fed up. What makes it worse is there isn't a single fucking thing I can do about it."

He reached for the door turning the handle.

"I'm begging you Basel, don't do this."

"I'm not leaving forever, I just need space away form you for awhile."

He tried walking away but I held tighter, scared that he was going to leave for good.

"Please Basel."

I was on my knees now.

"Let me go."

He gritted between his teeth.

I let go of him reluctantly and slow. My heart was breaking from the sight of my mate willingly walking out the door.
****