AFTER YOU SAVED ME // ZESSA

Chapter 38: The Funeral

Tessa's POV

"Hardin Scott, will be remembered as a hero."

I can barely hear the reverend speaking as I stare at the long casket covered in flowers, my hair blowing in the wind under my black fitted hat. It is a beautiful day – despite the circumstances. The sun is out, the grass still a bright green color, and it is unseasonably warm for mid-November. Around 50 degrees and a light breeze. One of those days you cherish when you know winter is at your doorstep.

"...and how he cared for his friends."

Surprisingly, I am not a puddle of tears. I have had a week to do that, and believe me, I have. My eyes are dry now – uncomfortably so, as I continue my frozen stare at the shiny, mahogany casket. It is gorgeous – if something so morbid can be gorgeous. It shines with fresh wax, a bed of fragrant red and white roses atop of it, crowned with maybe the only picture in existence of Hardin actually smiling.

Across from me, I hear Trish sniffling into her tissue – the loss of her only son weighing heavy on her – as Ken places a hand on her shoulder.

His grieving parents.

Near them are the familiar faces I came to know and love over last year and a half: Landon, Karen, Christian, Kimberly, Hardin's grandmother...

And of course, a few friends and former frat brothers. Steph and Tristan... well, Steph and Cameron are here. I guess he was not playing such a role after all, the love in his eyes evident as he holds her against him, her tears staining his shirt. Even Molly, who catches my eye from across the small plot, shoots me somber look and the smallest hint of a smile. Our differences aside, we are both grieving the loss of someone we loved dearly.

"You okay?" Zed whispers in my ear, standing just behind me and placing a comforting hand on my back. My mother is in the NICU with the babies – who are both doing great all things considered – while we attend the funeral, knowing we would need this day to ourselves.

I nod, not looking back as I stare down at my feet, my black suede flats beginning to hurt. Only having had the babies a week ago, I am still waiting for my body to recover from it all, and my shoes do not yet comfortably fit my swollen feet.

I stare like that for a while, chewing at my lip until I taste the signature metallic taste of blood.

"Would any friends of Hardin like to say anything?" I hear the reverend mutter, and snap my head back up, my eyes squinting in the bright light.

"Tessa?" Trish asks, knowing I was the closest to him beside anyone in his family – closer than some of them, even.

"Umm..." I stutter, breathing in slowly. Trish's eyes crease a bit, as if she is begging with me to speak.

"Okay," I agree, moving forward, almost robotically. I had not planned to say anything, but there is no way I could refuse that woman.

Standing where the reverend was a moment ago, I speak into the small mic.

"Hi," I say timidly, placing a straight hand against my forehead to block out some of the sun, using my only free hand to fidget with the hem of my black dress.

"I'm sure some of you know me. For those who don't... I'm Tessa." I take in a few deliberate deep breaths before I continue.

"Hardin and I have an... interesting, past – to say the least," I say with a small smile, catching Karen and Trish smiling back at me as Landon nods and Ken wipes a tear from his eye.

"We experienced almost every emotion a person could with another human. We were acquaintances, friends, lovers, enemies... we felt hatred, and passion... humor and despair... strength, and weakness. But above all... even when times were at their worst – we felt love."