The Shy One

Chapter 34

*kinda a tw. Talk of rape and self-harm scars*

I was asleep. I felt his arms around me. But when I woke up, he was gone. Or was he even there in the first place?

I grabbed onto my sheets and sat up. I hadn't changed them in weeks. Maye months. I lost count.

Every day I got up, counted the scars on my body, got dressed, cried over one of his hoodies, and checked my phone, hoping there were just a few words. Anything. A picture. Something telling me he still cared.

I don't even know why I still care. He's gone. And it was for the better.

I didn't need any more scars.

*************

The second Atticus left, he tried to convince me to rethink my choice. I knew rape and sexual assault, physical abuse, were large criminal offenses. And I wasn't going to be responsible for putting him in jail. Even if he deserved it.

Cole went to his room after that. He didn't talk to me for a few hours. Not until the next morning, when I knocked on his door. He apologized lightly and moved on. And I guess that was that.

I could still see he was tense. Slightly upset.

"You're still upset," I say, sitting down on his bed. The wallpaper was peeling on the corner of his wall already.

"Well, can you blame me?" he asks, grabbing the ends of his shirt, lifting it over his head.

"I guess I just don't understand," I say, folding my legs under me, crisscross.

"You don't understand?" he asks, slightly chuckling sarcastically.

"No, I don't. Because when I told you what he did, you didn't respond with anger, hurt, or anything. You were understanding!" I say, exasperated. Cole shuffled through his dresser drawer and pulled out another shirt.

"Yeah, because I was proud of you. How much you went through, coming out stronger than ever. You inspired me. What he put you through was horrible!" he explained, grabbing his phone. Wow. He can't even look at me as he talks to me.

I frowned, not liking his tone. "I'm not going to be responsible for putting him in jail for life, or for a long time! Not when I've forgiven him!" I exclaimed, standing up. Cole looked over at me.

"Well, maybe you shouldn't have forgotten what he did to you," he nearly spat.

It was as if he had slapped me.

"Excuse me?" I ask, my voice getting deeper with frustration, "who said I forgot?! I sure as Hell haven't forgotten. Ask me a question and I will give you every," I gritted my teeth, "single. Detail."

Cole sighed and ran a hand through his hair

"I haven't forgotten, I've forgiven. that doesn't mean I like, love, or trust him! I don't! But have you seen him?!" I say, gesturing to the door, although I hoped Atticus was nowhere near here, "If he gets sentenced he'll lose his sanity! He doesn't need jail, he needs an escape! He needs to get out of a place with his abusive father! He needs to be surrounded by people that love him, but will give him the straight truth when he needs it!"

Cole sighs and braces his arms on the dresser in front of him, "You loved hiM! And he trashed you! Ruined you!" He said.

I froze.

Ruined me.

"So," I gulped, you think I'm ruined?"

Cole's face shot up, regret laced on the wrinkles in his brow to the parting of his lips.