The Shy One

Chapter 30

"One day, I'm going to meet an amazing guy and he's going to make all of my dreams come true!" I proclaim. The eighth-grade year was a big year. I was finally allowed to wear makeup to school. And wear skirts.

"Well, Chase is mine. SO don't get greedy!" Lydia giggled. I giggled with her and reached on my tiptoes to grab my lunch.

"I don't want Chase, silly, Chase and I have been friends forever!"

"Well, so have Chase and I!" she argued, grabbing her lunch with ease.

"I wonder what it's like to be in love. I bet it's a fuzzy feeling. All play, no work," I sighed dreamily. I want to fall in love. I want to fall in love now.

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"Hello, Isabella!" Cole's mother answered the door. I plastered a fake smile on my face before stepping inside.

"I've missed you," she said, giving me a side hug, carefully avoiding spilling her wine glass.

"I've missed you too," I say. The house was eerily quiet.

"My husband took some of the kids out to mini-golf today. Cole is in his room," she said, sitting back down on the couch, tucking her feet below her.

"Thank you," I exclaim gently, walking down the hall and up the stairs. Cole's door was already open.

I wiped the palms of my hands on my jeans and walked toward the door quietly.

I gently pushed the door wider and met Cole's eyes, he was on his bed, typing away on his laptop.

"Hey," I said, rubbing my arm lightly with my hand.

"Hey," Cole said, clearing his throat.

I looked around then at my feet, the words stuck in my throat.

"I'm sorry," I say, not sure how else to phrase it.

"I know," Cole responds, not moving from his spot on the bed. His voice wasn't apathetic or rude. It was calm. I didn't know how to respond.

"What do you want me to say?" I ask, desperation starting to crawl into the back of my head, slithering its way into my voice.

"What do you think you need to say?" he asked. Again, his voice was so gentle it was barely there. 

"I don't know. I already apologized. I know what I did was wrong. I knew it was wrong as I did it!" I exclaimed, closing Cole's door behind me, "I knew I should've told you I was meeting up with Atticus, I know my past trauma isn't always an excuse, and maybe I wasn't ready for a relationship!" my words were rushed, nearly mumbled.

"But it's too late now because I love yoU! You are my boyfriend and so much more, and what I did was terribly wrong, but I've learned and I know I can't do this without you!" I sighed and plopped down onto the floor. "Maybe I could technically do it without you, but" I looked up at him, "I don't want to. That isn't a life I want to live alone. And you"

Cole got up and sat down beside me. Close, but not close enough.

"I don't want to do it without you," I mumble.

We were silent. Cole scooted closer and moved his hand toward mine.

"Were the flowers okay?" he asked.