Chuuya stood there completely silent and calm,mori nodded and allowed chuuya to leave his office.how was chuuya supposed to tell koyo?just when he got back from the hospital he's now going to meet death.
He didn't feel regret but instead relieved,he didn't know why but felt good knowing tomorrow would be his last day.he could let all his emotions free tomorrow because he knows dazai won't help him anymore...
Chuuya walked down the hall and turned right to his office. He remembered the small mattress at the back since he worked so hard that he would just sleep In the building. The pile of folders and the pills...
He would take pills to energise himself to keep going,chuuya grabbed the container and remembered the countless times he thought about overdosing because it was too much for him.the constant piles added up day by day it made him feel insane,now he hasn't touched a single one.
He threw the pills at a wall and took a long sigh.just only tomorrow he will be a cold corpse.even now he feels like a living corpse that can't be set free.mori told chuuya to take the day off since he won't be here tomorrow.
Chuuya went and started to unpack his suitcase rummaging through trying to find his diary and pen,when he found them he licked his finger and turned to the next clean page.
August 30
I'm finally out the hospital and i can now fucking leave this shitty world.tomorrow i will be doing a suicide mission.i'll be using corruption and dazai won't be able to stop me dying.somehow i want to say goodbye but he wouldn't care and probably already forgot about me,i just want to have a better life not fucked up and fucking almost overdosing everyday fucking day.i don't know why but every time i'm near him i have an irregular heartbeat and i sweat like a pig but there's no point to have a check because i wouldn't be there soon.i think i love him... That's ridiculous !Why the hell would I love some waste of bandages.HE'S A WALKING MUMMY!I just want to sleep forever so no one can control me anymore.
...................................
He stood in front of the book glaring into space for a few minutes.once he clicked back,chuuya walked over to the mattress and pulled the covers over him.the heavy worn out layers made him feel right out home.the dim lights made everything so much more soothing that he fell asleep in seconds.
Koyo wanted to check out on his baby boy so she left her work on the table and walked to his office.she knocked three times but there was no answer,ozaki finally decided to open the door.a loud creak echoed as she slowly opened the door.her eyes soften when she saw huuya on the mattress sleeping peacefully,koyo bent down and stroked his silky fire hair.her muscles relaxed just staring at chuuya.
She noticed the small leather book that was opened on his desk,koyo couldn't resist and went snooping around chuuya's things.her eyes turns big and sparkly while she quickly took the book and ran down the hall to her own office,once or twice she had to stop because she had dropped her umbrella.
When she finally reached her office and sat in her chair,she started to read the pages of Chuuya's diary.her hands started to shake and thousands of questions ran across her mind,she got angrier and angrier,she couldn't believe someone especially a nurse had touch a patient like an object, what was even worse was that it was her son.chuuya nakahara.her son.
Through tears she read on,all the way to the last page that he wrote.
Suicide mission?osamu dazai?
koyo never realised that chuuya's emotions were like this,koyo was so angry at mori-san as she stormed in his office and started to shout at mori.
"Why would you make my son go on a suicide mission!i just got him back!"koyo screamed out loud.
"Calm yourself ozaki koyo,he will do what i say as you know he is known for his loyalty,chuuya agreed willingly.we need him to use corruption this time and everyone knows it"
"Don't go sending missions like this on his first day back OGAI MORI!"
(oh shit the full names)
"I will do what i want, if you really want to save him go find dazai "
"You know we can't go there or else they will know our plan and then chuuya will die for nothing!"
"Exactly"
Her eyes were full on tears almost slipping out to the face,koyo didn't want to lose chuuya since she was a mother figure to him and now she has gone soft toward chuuya.she stomped out the office,she stared back and left the door half open.(i hate it when people don't close the door properly so mori will feel my PAIN like how my brother and sister do to me)
Koyo cried for the rest of the day and let chuuya sleep since she wanted chuuya's last day to be calm and peaceful.
............
i know this isn't the best but i hope you enjoyed this chapter
YOU ARE READING
Red lights (soukoku)
ActionChuuya feels so alone after dazai leaves the port mafia.not that he isn't strong,of course he is. He didn't need dazai but just someone's company. The work and missions double and he can't manage it all by himself. He feels so drained out but is so...
