Not About Angels ➳ A TBNRFrags/PrestonPlayz Fanfiction

When She's Gone ➳ Chapter 37

Preston's POV

February 20th

Every time I looked at, talked to, or touched Nick, my heart instantly felt like it was soaring. Knowing that she's not always that strong; knowing that she's not perfect, only makes our connection that much more embedded. Stronger, though neither of us are as strong as our connection.

But of course, she's not at school again. She hasn't been for the past three days.

It's been over a week since she ran out the door, ran away from, seemingly, me. That was the last time I saw her. It seems she's... vanished. I haven't mustered up enough courage to visit her at her house, much less even go within the vicinity of her dwelling. I do want to give her space, but it's killing me to see her.

School life has been dull without her. Without knowing that she is somebody I can go and talk to at any time in the day.

I feel like I completely and utter jackass for Wednesday. She just stood there for what felt like hours but was actually only mere moments before running. And I couldn't even bring myself to go after her, to comfort her. To tell her that she is beautiful and that she shouldn't think otherwise.

But if I never see her again, I'll never be able to tell her those things.

Now, I find myself sitting on the city bus, awaiting my stop like every other student around me. My filled backpack is sat upon my legs; I was fortunate enough to get a seat.

Still thinking about Nick, I watch as the bus passes my stop. I don't object; I'm not headed that way anyway.

I'm going to Nick's house.

I just want to say sorry for everything. I want to hold her in my arms. I want to make sure neither of us leave ever again.

Soon, the bus slows to a familiar stop; the one half a block from Nick's house. Following many students, I step off the bus, feeling the cold, yet warming air against my dry skin. The sky is a gret color rather than the usual Texas blue.

I breathe heavily, being inadvertently reminded of old home. Though, unlike Texas, Calgary is utterly cold, even in mid-February. Snow still slightly covers the ground; it has been warming up, though not as warm as Texas-

No. Preston, stop. I've pretty much completely gotten over it, so why am I thinking about it now?

Maybe it's the absence of the girl I've learned to love, but if anything, I should be thinking about her not home-

-Home.

I haven't referred to that place as home in a while. The only thing that place does for me is give me back painful memories of mt loving past. Memories of my family, of my past life, of doing what I love doing. I don't remember the last time I touched a controller, much less touvhed a computer. Yeah, I've checked up on my friends once or twice, but... I just haven't found the time.

And I know that I'm lying to myself. Gaming used to be my pretty much everything. Without it, I wouldn't have met my amazing friends. I would have at to get a crap job doing something I dislike. I wouldn't have a million and more loving fans, some of whom may be a little 'crazy' but I loved them all anyways.

And perhaps without it, I won't make the same mistakes I did, despite all the 'ups'. I wouldn't be here right now. In the blistering cold.

Calgary is my new home. It has been for over a month.

But Texas will always be my home. In pain and regret, in sorrow and indifference, it will always be home.

Even if I can never return.