Chasing Air // Billie Eilish

Chapter 27

ELLIOT'S P.O.V

"I'm sorry," I whispered before reaching my hands out towards her and wrapping my arms around her, the wind blowing my hair into her face as we fell backwards onto the ground and away from the edge. I couldn't believe she would do something so reckless. One harsh blow of wind and she could've been dead. "I'm sorry," I repeated, louder this time.

"It's okay. It'll be okay. Stop crying." She pulled my arms so that we were both sitting up. "You don't want to have a panic attack." She rubbed my back gently. "Calm down."

I shook my head. "I'm sorry, Billie."

"It's okay, baby. Stop apologizing. I promise it's okay."

I laid my head on her shoulder, sobs racking my body. I didn't understand anything. My brain wasn't working properly.

I eventually calmed down and a thick silence settled over us. It wasn't the nice, comfortable kind. It was a tense silence filled with unspoken words and unfiltered regret. It was the kind of silence that made my head spin and my stomach hurt as I tried to think of something to clear it. What was I supposed to say? We both just almost died because of me.

And I'm still worried that she didn't mean what she said about not being tired of me. And I'm still sorry that I said such things to her, to this day. I was sorry for ever dragging her into my life. I told myself that I wasn't going to get anybody else involved and then Claudia and Finneas popped up. Literally out of thin air. And Claudia helped me realize that some of the stuff I was putting up with was utter bullshit.

And then suddenly there was Billie. Billie who only asked questions. Billie who hated me for no real reason. Billie who's curious mind and strange love for bean burritos and sticking her nose in my business saved me. Billie who stayed up late at night talking through cans on a string with me. Billie who loved hugs and hated being away from me. Billie who is quite possibly the most precious human being I have ever met. Billie who was determined not to let our story end just yet.

"Let's go. We're gonna stay in a hotel tonight, okay?" Billie kissed my head and then stood, pulling me to my feet.

I felt the need to apologize again but I knew that she would just tell me to stop. It was probably getting annoying.

"I love you, Elliot. A lot. I really do. I care about you and I want you to be happy."

"I know." I nodded.

"Things are gonna get better. I promise you they will. You're gonna have to be patient."

"I—"

"I know you have been. And I know it's gonna be hard, baby. It will be, but you have to keep pushing because in a few years, you're gonna be so glad that you didn't jump."

I sighed.

"Whether we're still together or not. Even if you decide that you need to be alone for a little while, or if our relationship doesn't work out, everything will be okay."

I turned to her, raising my eyebrows. "What?"

She smiled, shaking her head. "I'm not saying that it won't, I'm not promising that it will. I'm promising to try if you will. I am falling in love with you and I hope that we're together for a very long time—if not until the day I take my last breath."

I could feel my face heat up as I looked down at her, a grin finding it's way onto my face. "You know you have to actually ask me to be with you before we can be together until your last breath, right?"

"Me?" she asked skeptically. And just like that, we were back to normal.

"Yeah, you."

"I'm a pussy." I smirked and she hit my arm. "Stop being so dirty-minded, Elliot."

"I didn't even say anything," I replied defensively.

"You didn't have to. I could tell by the look on your face."

"If you think about it," I started but I was quickly interrupted.

"If you think about it," she mocked in a stupid attempt at a British accent.

"You're ridiculous."

"You're ridiculous."

I wrapped my arm around her, holding her in a headlock. "And how is that so?"

"You're the tall ass little pussy that won't ask me out."

I put my hand under her chin and tilted her head up. "Will you be my girlfriend?"

"I'll have to think about it."

I leaned down and kissed her. "Fuck you."

"If I say yes, will you?"

I rolled my eyes at her playfully. "I'll have to think about it."

"Fine. I guess I'll be your girlfriend." She pulled her phone out. "I'm gonna call Fin real quick."

lol.