Chasing Air // Billie Eilish

Chapter 31

ELLIOT'S P.O.V

I sighed, completely content as I tucked a piece of Billie's hair behind her ear, the dustlight shining through her window illuminating her features. I'd been waiting for her to wake up but I was growing bored. I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her closer to me, our naked bodies pressing together. "Wake up," I whined, tracing small kisses along her jaw and up to her mouth as she groaned.

A soft smile played at her lips as a light pink dusted her cheeks. "You're so annoying."

"So are you," I replied defensively and she finally opened her eyes, the bright room almost making her blue orbs glow. She was unbelievably beautiful.

"That's not true." She stretched, letting her arm fall over my waist, her hand drooping lazily against my back. Her eyebrows knitted together as her hand brushed over my scar and I quickly pulled her hand away. I was too caught up in the moment to even think about that. "What was that?"

I raised my eyebrows, feigning confusion. "What was what?"

"Sit up." I sighed as I sat up. She was gonna find out eventually and now there was no way out of it. Last night it was dark when I was naked but now it's as bright as it gets in this room and all of my scars are on full display. I held my breath as her fingers traced the scar. "Oh my God. What happened, Elliot?" I really didn't want to talk about it. The only person I had told before her was Jeremiah and he constantly used the information against me. "I am not Jeremiah. I will never be like Jeremiah, okay? You can talk to me."

I took my bottom lip between my teeth, chewing on it anxiously. "I know."

She set her hand on my cheek and turned my head towards her, freeing my bottom lip with her thumb. "Talk to me, baby."

I shook my head. "It's—you're gonna be mad." She tilted her head a little, her face contorting into confusion, so I went on. "My mom isn't dead, Billie." I looked down at the blanket.

She was quiet for a few seconds. "W-What?"

"She's in a psychiatric hospital."

"Why?" she asked.

"She's schizophrenic alongside a bunch of other mental problems, but she was deemed legally insane."

"What were they trying to charge her with?"

"Aggravated assault," I replied. "She tried to kill me, Billie." Tears pricked at my eyes as she wrapped her arms around my waist from behind, laying her head on my back. "And it was because she wasn't in her right mind. It wasn't even her fault. She literally thought she was being attacked and—and now I'll probably never see her again."

"You can't visit her?"

"I can." I wiped a tear off of my face. "But I don't want to. Like I said, she isn't in her right mind. I don't know what would happen and I'm scared to find out."

"I'm sorry, baby."

"It's okay." I shrugged. "It doesn't bother me as much anymore. It's just a touchy subject. Anyways, she got me with a knife. That's what happened."

"I'm sorry," she said again and I'm sure it was because she had nothing else to say. That's all she could say. "Why didn't you tell me?"