Chasing Air // Billie Eilish

Chapter 45

ELLIOT'S P.O.V

I let out a long sigh as I sat down at the small table in the coffee shop that I worked at after getting my job back, a warm mug of coffee in my hand. It was early. Early enough that the sun wasn't yet in the sky. I missed working there. It gave me something to do. It wasn't very hard to get the job back either, they were desperate. I still made minimum wage, so it wasn't great financially, but being poor was nothing new to me.

I decided that the best thing to do was to find a new mental hospital for my mom, so I did. It was better for everybody. I couldn't take care of her properly. I couldn't take care of myself properly.

The holiday was over and everybody was back on tour. I was staying at Claudia's house, watching Peaches and Shark in return for the hospitality of their house. They wouldn't be back into town until the week of Christmas.

My head popped up quickly when the bell above the door chimed, letting me know that somebody walked in. Saying I was shocked at the pair of brown eyes that met mine would be an understatement. "Jeremiah."

He smiled softly in my direction. "Elliot."

"What are you doing up this early?"

"I could ask you the same." He laughed, coming a little closer to the table, though still maintaining an adequate distance from me.

"I get up this early every morning. It's peaceful."

"I never knew you to be a morning person," he said.

I simply shrugged. "People change."

"That they do, Elliot. Can I sit?"

I hesitated for a minute before caving in and nodding.

"How have you been?"

"I've been better, but I'm not doing too terribly. How about yourself?"

"I guess I could say the same." He nodded and a tense silence settled over us for a few seconds. "I'm really sorry."

"For what exactly? You've kinda got a lot to be sorry for, Jer." I laughed a little.

"Everything. I was terrible to you, I know."

I shrugged. "Yeah, you were." His face fell a little. "But there's no point in dwelling on it now."

-

The sun was now shining through the window, letting in orange light. We had been talking for something over an hour surely. He now had his own cup of coffee in his hand as he propped his elbows up on the table. "So how are you and Billie?"

The mention of her name hurt a little. I missed her. "We're on a sort of break. I guess I'm just focusing on myself for now."

"How's that going?"

"Uh." I laughed, blinking away the tears that threatening to spill as I looked down. "It hurts." I bit my lip. "I don't like it. I don't think I do well on my own. I miss her a lot. It's hard."

"I know. You'll be okay though. You'll pull through, I know it."

"It's been nice talking to you," I said, and I meant it, which surprised me. It had been a long time since we had actually sat down and had a normal conversation.

"Yeah. It has. I miss you."

I opened my mouth a little to speak and shook my head. "I... you know that this doesn't mean..."

"I know," he said quickly. "I fucked everything up. Bad. I know. I don't expect you to take me back or anything, but that's the truth. I miss you."

I just nodded. "Well, I've got to get home and feed the dogs and stuff, so..." I trailed off.

"Yeah. Yeah, of course. Sorry for holding you up."

"It's okay." I stood up, putting my phone in my pocket, and he did the same.

"Let's not be strangers anymore, yeah?" He held his arms open a little for a hug.

"Yeah." I gave him a quick hug and then walked back to Claudia's house.