Accept, Not Forget (SLOW UPDATES)

Chapter 15 - My Guardian Angel

I close the door behind me and take a deep breath. I look at the sky, and by the sun's position, it should be around mid-afternoon. Everything happened so fast that I haven't had time to process what just occurred. I am definitely not going back inside, and the Morgan's house would be the first place they would look, so there is only one other option.

As if in a trance, I make my way to my special spot. The place where I know no one will find me, where I can just sit in peace by myself and let my thoughts wander. It is my safe haven.

My secret treehouse.

I didn't notice when I reached the woods, I didn't notice when I climbed the ladder of the treehouse, and I didn't notice the silent tears making their way down my emotionless face.

Until all of the events of a few minutes ago dawn on me, and I break down. Only this time, I am all alone with no one to comfort me.

I sit in the corner of the small wooden construction and hug my knees tightly. Loud and ugly sobs rack my body as I replay the scene in my head over and over again.

Old memories related to the secret that is now out in the open make their way to the front of my mind. They stay there, plaguing my consciousness in a constant loop.

They bring me back to the time when I wanted to give up. When there was no more fight or resilience left in me to care. To the times when darkness consumed my every thought and the light had deserted me.

It reminds me of the day I decided that living was too painful. My parents had died a few years ago and it was all my fault, so why should I be able to breathe when they couldn't? It is because of me that my older brothers have to work double the time to pay for my constant hospital bills. They have to spend large amounts of time caring for me, especially when I am sick even though I am the living reminder that their parents are dead. I was more trouble than I was worth. I was a deadweight, a burden.

Not was. I am.

When Greyson saw what was about to happen that day, he managed to remind me of all the bright sides. And I believed him with all my heart. But now, I am stuck inside my head, dark thoughts spiraling violently in my mind, obfuscating the remaining rays of light. And there is no one here to rescue me this time.

Or so I thought...

Drowning in my subconsciousness, I didn't take notice of the person sitting beside me until a pair of arms pulled me into their comforting embrace. That simple gesture was enough to bring me back. Back to reality, where everything had a light in the sea of shadows. Instantly, I start to regret my line of thought just seconds ago. No one would know of them unless I told them, but the guilt was still there. How could I even think like that? How could I even fathom the idea of leaving all of the people that have done nothing but loved me suffering, blaming themselves? How could I cause such pain to my other halves, my soulmates, my triplets?

In this moment, I make a promise to myself. I will never think like that again. Some might say that I have no control over it, but I will fight to take charge, and if that doesn't work, I will tell my brothers and friends so that they can help me. I can fight a battle by myself and win, but no one has ever won a war alone, and I won't either.