𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢 | 𝐬𝐩𝐧

𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐘 𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄

SHE couldn't take his place, deep down she knew that, but it was worth a shot. She didn't know that Crossroad Demons could rebel against the rules. She thought the deal could be honored. She was wrong. The demon agreed she could take his place if she sold her soul now and died in a month. Carter agreed without a beat, thinking Sam and Dean would be okay.

She didn't plan on telling Sam or Dean what happened that night. One day, she'd disappear and that would be that. As of now, two weeks after the deal, her biggest worry was cleaning the blood off of Sam's hands.

They stood behind a gas station with bottles of water. Dean poured the water while Sam rubbed his hands together to get the dried blood of Gordon off of him. Gordon had turned into a vampire and Sam was the one to decapitate him...with wire. It was insanely impressive to Dean and Carter, but he didn't want praise.

"Alright, let's roll. Baby needs some work." Dean patted the hood of his car and got into the driver's seat. Carter handed Sam her jacket (originally his but she stole it from him.) Sam looked at her skeptically. "Why are you giving this back?"

"Calm down, Sammy..." She laughed, nudging his shoulder. She got into the Impala's passenger seat and admired Dean as he drove. She sat with the back of her head against the window and moved her hair to the side while she pulled out a black leather notebook.

Dear boys,

I'll be dead when you read this, which is kinda funny when you think about it. I have like, a week and 2 days (?) until I croak. I made a deal with a demon because they said I could take Dean's place in Hell. I don't really know what to believe, but if my education is right, they have guidelines to follow when they make deals. Our agreement should be honored and you two will be okay.

Can I just be brutally honest with you guys? I'm kind of scared to die. According to the woman, I'll be Satan's dog's chew toy. It'll be worse than how we imagine Hell. I don't know if I'm ready for that. I used to be.

I used to be ready to embrace death in the palm of my hand and feel its coldness run through my skin until I took my final breath. I used to be excited to enter Heaven's gates and maybe see my family again. I would be happy.

But now? Now, I'll be far from happy. I'll be alone. I'll be broken. I still wouldn't have it any other way. As long as the Winchester brothers are okay, so am I.

Dean, I'm sitting beside you right now in Baby. You look so at peace and happy, but I can see your fear etched in your eyes. You're scared. You shouldn't be. It'll all be okay in the end of this lady holds up her end of the bargain. I don't think I could ever get sick of seeing your happiness when you hear the engine start in your car or when you win a game of poker. I could never forget the smile you get after gambling. I don't think you understand how much your smile makes me happy. I know you are struggling, Dean-O, but I'm real proud of you for keeping your head above water.

You're the best dancing partner and a real sweet guy. I hope one day you settle down with someone and dance with them the way you danced with me. I hope you take them to fields and watch the stars with a beer in your hand. Look at her the way you looked at me. Love her as you loved me. She'll never even get over that look, I promise.

Sam, how do I start? You came into my life at the weirdest time. You took my joy and made it into something more. I used to look forward to going to Stanford just to see you. You took me under your wing and introduced me to your friends and I can never repay you for that...especially since I'm dead. Sammy, you were there for me from the get-go. You and I clicked so easily and I didn't realize it at the time, but I need you because you make me feel complete. You're my bullet to my gun, the stars to my sky, and whatever other cringe-worthy shit is out there. Either way, you get the point.

All of the nights we would sit and talk. The times when we didn't even have to talk to understand one another. When you'd hug me after I finished crying. We were a fucking Hallmark couple in the best way. I know it was selfish of me to sell my soul and leave you, Sam, but you need your brother. That's all I wanted from this. I want you and your brother to live.

Boys, I'm counting on you to try and resurrect me. I don't think it's possible, but if you don't try, I'll haunt you.

Take care of Flynn for me and tell Ellen and Jo I love them. Thank Bobby for everything he's done.

Until next time, bitches.

The Impala stopped on a dirt road in the middle of a field. Dean got out and opened the hood of the car and Sam got out the cooler and beers while Carter turned the radio up slightly and tucked her journal away. She got out and accepted a drink from her friend and watched Dean fix his car. "Figure out what's making that rattle?" She asked.

"Not yet. Give me a box wrench, would you?" Dean asked Sam. His brother gave him the wrench and Dean took it, then called Sam over to watch. "This rattle could be a couple of things. I'm thinking it's an out-of-tune carb. All right, see this thing? It's a valve cover. Inside are all the parts that are on the head. Hand me that socket wrench. Now, this is your intake manifold, okay, and on top of it?" Dean asked. "It's, uh, uh, a carburetor," Sam answered. "Carburetor. Very good." Dean agreed, holding out the wrench. "You fix it."

"Dean, you barely let me drive this thing." Sam laughed. "Well, it's time. You should know how to fix it. You're gonna need to know these things for the future. And besides, that's my job, right? Show my little brother the ropes?" Dean chuckled, taking one of the two beers from Sam. He sat down on the cooler and watched him. "Put your shoulder into it."