Happy Merry Everything (Charlie Barber)

Indiana

You stood with Charlie on the sidewalk outside of JFK, watching as he took his suitcase out of the cab. "You're sure you don't want me to come with you? I can buy a ticket right now. I don't care what it costs," you asked, tenderly. Since receiving the news of his father's passing, Charlie hadn't exactly seemed himself. The colorful, lighthearted man you'd come to know and love was gone. He was muted now. The life had gone from his eyes. He hadn't said much about going home except that he had booked his flight out of obligation to his mother.

He closed the trunk of the taxi, pulling his luggage closer to him before shifting the weight of his messenger bag on his shoulder. "I don't want you to see any of this." He stepped into your body and pulled you into a tight hug, the messenger bag bumping against your side. "Sorry."

"It's fine."

He sighs softly, his eyes meeting yours. An unspoken emotion you can't put your finger on is all too prevalent. "I don't want you to see me like that...and I can honestly say I don't want your opinion of me to change either."

The furrowing of your brow must have said it all. "I don't know how I'm going to react when I get there. Whether I'll cry or lash out or what will happen. All I know is that it's not necessarily a side of myself I want you to see."

"You know I love every part of you, right?" You asked softly. "Nothing's going to change that. You're grieving."

You could feel Charlie's whole body tense in your arms. "Did I say something wrong?"

Charlie shook his head. "No, you didn't do anything. I'm..." He sighed. "I'm just not exactly looking forward to any of this."

Deep down, you knew he wasn't only referring to the funeral. He carefully took you by the shoulders and stared longingly into your eyes, letting them flicker over your features, remembering every part of you even though he was only leaving you for a few days.

"Tell me everything's going to be okay?"

"Everything's going to be okay."

Charlie bent slightly so that his forehead could come to rest against yours.

"I know when I go away, you wait for me to reach out, but don't. Please call. Don't--don't feel like you're interrupting. You won't be and if you are, I want you to. Text. Call. Please."

------

He messaged you once he made it to the plane, sporadically while he was in the air, and once he landed.

Charlie: I've safely made it to hell on earth. On my way to get my rental car now. I'll text you when I get to the hotel. I love you xo

A little while later your phone lit up again.

Charlie: All checked in. It feels strange being here, but even more so being here without you.

A few minutes later.

Charlie: The next time my dad decides to die, remind me to fork out more money for the hotel. The bed is so hard I'm pretty sure I cracked my spine.
Charlie: I'm sorry.
Charlie: And in the event it's not glaringly obvious...no, I'm not okay.

No sooner than you read the messages, your phone began to ring.

"Hey," you answered softly.

"Can I come home yet?"

----

You were getting settled into bed, pulling Charlie's pillows closer to you, breathing in his scent. You honestly couldn't remember the last time you slept apart and you weren't confident sleep would come easy. At least you could take comfort in the fact that you'd be awake should Charlie need you.