𝘐𝘮𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴 ♔ 𝘑.𝘉 𝘊𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴

𝐒𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐛𝐲𝐞 ♕ 𝐉.𝐁 [9]

𝐘𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐟𝐮𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧
𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐞𝐜𝐡...
{𝐉𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐁𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐬 🪦💀}
༄
I sigh as I step up and start doing my speech. "Thank you all for coming to this heartbreaking event and share our grief for his passing, my name is Y/n, maybe I'll start by saying I never regret anything. But I must say, I wish things turned out how we wanted it to be. Because I won't be saying this if it didn't happen. But looking at the bright side of things, I would never know what love was until he brought me the definition. To tell him I am not prepared. I'm not ready yet. I don't want to let go. I don't want to say goodbye, but I have to. Because if I don't, I will never move on and I'll never know if someone is willing to drown in me the same way I drowned in you.

I like to acknowledge all the feeling he made me feel; euphoric or crestfallen because they made me stronger. They gave me a different hue to look at things. They gave me a wide perception in many things. I am glad I opened my doors for him. I felt glad that, even if we're miles away, I felt home. Remember the first time you told me you love me? It was 11:43 in the evening and I don't know what to say. He made my heart bloom with so much joy that I got lost for words. He thought that I didn't love him but when the phone call was about to end I told him the real deal and he never doubted for a second. Ever since that night he always reminded me how much he loves me and he never failed to make me love him more.

Remember when we had our first fight? It only took three minutes to make everything alright. We knew everything everything about each other that is why we always come back to each other when we sometimes drift apart. I would always remember these time because it really made me feel that whatever thing I or him might do, we will still find a route to each other.

Remember the days when we compared our love to our past loves we've been? I clearly remember that I did not any man the way I love him. And I still remember that he told me that I was his one great love; the one that made him feel home without even touching the tip of his fingers. And I love that. I love he made me feel that. At least, I can tell myself, once in my life, that I had this man that made me believe in forever. He's changed my perception in a lot of things. He is positive, I am negative. We compliment each other, but I think we never really meant to last. Because if we do, we won't be hurting ourselves to much. If we love each other, we won't be hanging out just because of big fear.

Remember the time when I had the verge of giving up on life and you saved me? It was like he was wearing his shining armour and he lifts me up. It was spectacular, he rescued me and made me realise that life is unfair and full of uncertainty's. He told me that I should live because we still have a lot of things to do, that we still have to finish my bucket list together, but now, how am I supposed to do those things? He is not here, he won't be here anymore, I won't be able to do those things without him anymore. And it pains me knowing that no matter how much effort we put through, we won't survive, because he is pulling me down, but not that deep enough because he also guided me to grasp some air to breathe.

I would like to remember you as a dream: the dream that once came true. The dream that made him realise a lot of stuff, the dream I won't forget. I was really happy when we met because he gave me a lot of reasons to continue living even though I am hurting. He was my light and now that you're gone, I can't see anything, he is my destination, he is my haven. He were the safest and warmest place for a lost cause like me.

I feel hell right now. Because I wasn't able to explore every chambers in him. But whatever happens, he is forever in my heart, he took a piece of me that I didn't regret. If he was thinking to go back to the old route, don't worry. I didn't change anything. He can go back anytime he wants, just make sure he doesn't take the keys to my heart with him," I say now in a puddle of tears.

༄𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐩༄
It's been a year till that happened. I am now writing a su!side note. 'Hello to whoever who is reading this, by the time that you're reading this I'd probably already be dead. I am going somewhere to jump. That's a clue, but please do not go looking for me, but whoever is reading this is probably a relative, I love you, tell my parents and everyone else that I love them and I am sorry, -Y/n Y/l/n' I quickly get up and put the note on the kitchen counter. I haven't ate anything for the past week. I decide to clean the place up. I cleaned every room and put myself in summer clothes even though it's really cold. But hey, I'm gonna die so..

I grab my keys and put them underneath the doormat. I run to a cliff. There was a railing but instead I climbed up gripping onto it tightly. My hair was flowing back from the breeze. My tears turned my cheeks cold. I stand on top of the railings. "I'm coming Jonny," I say to myself looking up to the sky. I lean forward and try not to move. My body gets in contact with the concrete ground and pain rushes through my body. Next thing I knew I blacked out and felt no rush of pain.

I look around and see that I'm somewhere else and not at the bottom of the cliff. "Y/n?" I hear a voice say. I turn around to see a blonde man standing behind me. He had sparkling blue eyes. I look him up and down and run to him with tears in my eyes. "I've missed you so much Jonny you don't even know," I say snuggling into his neck. "That's impossible, I've missed you more," he says tightening his grip around me. It felt so good to finally be back in his touch...