jemina // sirius black

thirty-five

chapter thirty-five

Leaving Grimmauld Place that afternoon was incredibly hard. 

I had really enjoyed spending time with Remus and Sirius, especially since it was the first time the three of us got to spend time together without the awkwardness of what happened while Sirius was in Azkaban tainting it all. 

After we laughed (for a really long time) about me magically cutting Peter from all of our pictures, we went through my photo albums. We looked at an unreasonable amount of pictures, and I ended up crying again. Twice more, actually. I was just so happy to have both of them back in my life, together. They would be laughing at a photo, and then I'd just be sniffling quietly while watching them. Neither of them made a big deal out of my soapy tears because they both knew why I was so sensitive. 

We talked more about Remus having had feelings for me for years, and about Sirius having liked me from the very start. I teased him a bit about it, and as a trio, we cleared up any possible leftover feelings that could put a strain on our friendship. 

Sirius admitted that he was unbothered by the situation, except for one tiny thing. He had turned to Remus, gently punched his shoulder, and scolded him for officiating our marriage.

A wave of guilt had washed over me, and I wondered how hard that must have been for him. 

I mean, even trying to imagine it made me sad. Watching the woman that I love walking down the aisle towards me, looking beautiful in a white wedding dress, only for her to be marrying someone else. I could never have done that.

There were a lot of things that made more sense knowing that Remus had loved me for a really long time. So many things that had never made sense until the moment I realized. 

But I wasn't particularly surprised. Part of me must have known, or at least had suspicions. 

The surprising part was that I wasn't bothered by it at all. I felt guilty as hell that he had watched me love Sirius for years, while he loved me the entire time. I felt sad that I had never known and at the same time grateful that I didn't. Knowing that Remus had loved me from the beginning didn't make me uncomfortable. It didn't annoy me, and it didn't make me question his motives.

It didn't change how I felt either.

The three of us had sat there for nearly three hours before any of us thought about the time. I had been purposely ignoring the clock on the wall, desperately trying to squeeze all of the time that I could out of the day. 

I didn't want to go back to Hogwarts yet. Not only was I not ready to leave them, but I was so very nervous about the Goblet of Fire ceremony. 

Keeping my mind off of the ceremony was hard once the post came. With it, I got a letter from Lilian about how Aubrey and Esme were still fighting - something I really hated hearing - a letter from Albus reassuring me that nobody suspected a thing. He told me that I was safe to apparate into the Three Broomsticks when I was ready to come back. He said that he had gotten a cover for me to visit Sirius on his birthday too, as an apology for being so callous about my nerves. 

He then reiterated that everything was being handled safely, and nothing bad could happen.

Sirius was ecstatic to know I would be able to spend his birthday with him. He was even happier when I told him that the cover involved Lilian, so she would also be coming to visit him for both of their birthdays. 

I had never seen someone so excited about their birthday before. 

We ended up on the topic of the Tournament, and we discussed it for several very long moments before two more letters came flying into the living room.