jemina // sirius black

twenty-two

chapter twenty-two  -  talks

Trying to act angry with Sirius was hard when he was cracking jokes any time we were in the same room. I would try to keep the same stony face that Esme had, but it was nearly impossible not to laugh.

I did end up throwing a little party for Aubrey and Harry. It went very well, Sirius was the life of the party, just like when we were young. He told endless jokes and just made everyone happier to be there. 

Everyone but Esme. 

She hung around during the important parts, like the initial ten minutes, during dinner, and the cake. During the gift thing, and then when Harry and Aubrey left to go to the Burrow, but she spent the rest of the time hiding in the kitchen. 

She still refused to talk to me about what was on her mind, and I wished she would just try to tell me what was making her so angry. 

I needed to know if she would hate me for forgiving him. 

It wasn't until the week after their party that I got Esme to talk to me. I had managed to corner her in her room, and coax her into telling me what she was angry about. 

That's when she told me that she remembered small parts of the few weeks before he left. She told me, specifically, that she remembered him promising her that he would be home shortly. 

"It took him twelve years to live to that promise."

I asked her if she wanted to talk to him, and she said that was the last thing she wanted. Esme told me that she just needed time to get the anger under control, away from him, before she could even think of talking to him. 

She had looked at me with this expression, and while I knew she was playing me, I knew she was also telling the truth. Being in the same house as him wouldn't allow her to work through the parts of her anger that none of us could help with. I also knew that she was slyly asking to go to the Weasleys with her sister - and with Fred. 

"I'll send Molly an owl and when she responds, you can Floo to the Burrow."

Esme smiled weakly before thanking me. 

"And Mum?" I turned back to her, leaning against the doorframe, holding the knob in my hand. She smirked and shrugged, "I am not going to be mad at you if you forgive him before I do. I can see the way you look at him. You're not angry anymore, and you are just pretending, aren't you?"

"You know the answer to that."

Esme smiled widely as I turned away from her and shut the door. 

Just as I suspected, Sirius was standing on the stairs, coming up. I smiled weakly as I practically darted up the stairs and ran into my own room. 

Unfortunately, Remus was sitting on my bed. 

Ran from one problem, right into another. 

I honestly didn't know which was worse. 

"What are you doing in my room?"

"Can I talk to you?"

"I'm hesitant to say yes," I said as I walked towards my bed anyway. He was sitting on the side of the bed, his feet still on the floor. I sat next to him and smiled weakly, "But sure."

"It's about Sirius."

"I figured that out on my own, Rem."

"Look, Jemina, I don't want you to think that you have to... hold yourself back because of me. I may hate the idea of never having a chance with you again, but I know that you love him."