Shiratorizawa - Dorm Days

How?

*Trigger Warning* - mild panic attack

It was one of those days for Semi. It wasn't like anything particularly bad had happened. Quite the opposite, in fact— he'd gotten a good mark on that trig test he'd studied for— but still. Things just get off.
Reon, of course, had noticed and commented on it at lunch, asking if he was alright. Semi had told him that he was fine. He wasn't really sure what else to say. It was ironic, because if one of his friends or teammates had tried to brush it off like that he would have given them shit for it, telling them to have said something sooner. Maybe even have bought them something from the cafeteria.
But with himself? No way. Double standards were a bitch.
He shook himself out of that train of thought. He was starting to get whiny, and that would feel pathetic, even for his inner monologue.
Still though, even as he headed to practice, he knew he wouldn't be able to set them aside that easily.
Goshiki had missed another serve.
"Ugh, I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'll practice harder."
The first year was being too hard on himself, so Semi did what he did best. "Come on now Goshiki, you always work hard, and you're a good player. Don't sweat it, we'll get it back." He glared pointedly at Shirabu on the other side of the court, who was smirking.
"And we'll show this asshole up, too." Semi added. He couldn't help it. Something about the second year just pissed him off.
Tendo ruffled Goshiki's hair, "Yeah, what Semisemi said." The redhead middle blocker grinned good-naturedly before getting back into position. "Now, send a good one my way, won't you, Eita?"
Semi huffed, but got ready too. The serve came, and Taichi passed a perfect ball up. Crap. Now he had time to think. With how he was doing now, that meant he was probably going to overthink it. That was probably why he'd been replaced by Shirabu in the first place. He— oh. Shit. He'd set the ball too high. Tendo, the lanky bastard, managed to reach it with the tip of his fingers, just enough to knock it over the net, where it hit the ground on the other side.
"Sorry, Tendo. My bad." He kicked himself. That should have been so simple.
Semi looked up and noticed that Tendo was giving him a weird look. His Guess Monster stare. Semi felt like the layers of his psyche were being peeled back one by one by that intense gaze. He couldn't stand it.
"What?" Semi finally snapped.
Tendo blinked. "Oh, nothing." The middle blocker paused, "just remember to take care of yourself, Semisemi. What you said to Goshiki also applies to you, you know. As does what you've always said to me."
All Semi could do was stare. He was bringing that up now?
Tendo stretched, apparently having said what he'd intended to. "Now, send me up the next one, hmm?"
Semi headed back up to his room after practice to do homework, but found he couldn't focus. Instead, he called Reon, who came over for a bit. They chatted, and then watched a movie for a while. Semi felt relatively okay then, almost like his usual self.
At around eleven, Reon bid his goodbyes and headed back to his own room. They still had practice in the morning after all.
Semi climbed into bed shortly afterwards, curling in on himself and hoping that sleep would be merciful and come quickly.
It didn't.
Semi knew that he was unreasonably hard on himself, and he knew that if he were to talk to anyone on the team about it, they would be great and supportive. The problem was, though, that he didn't feel like he could talk to anyone about it. He was the one who was always put together. He was the one who always comforted people. He wasn't like Tendo, who kept a healthy balance between the two. He didn't know how to reverse the roles. It was almost like he'd spent so long letting others lean on him that he'd forgotten how to lean on someone else.
Needless to say, this wasn't healthy. The problem was, he didn't know how to do anything differently.
He tossed and turned, stuck inside his own brain until around two in the morning, when he couldn't take it anymore.
He stood in the dark room and stared out his window for a moment, before realizing that his breaths were coming faster than normal, and his hands had started to shake. This had never happened before. He felt trapped. Semi had to get out of this room.
Semi stalked the hallways for a while, hoping it would calm the thing inside him that felt trapped and lonely and lost. As he passed back down his own hallway for the fifth time, Semi startled as a door opened.
Tendo Satori stood in the doorway, toothbrush dangling out of his mouth, hair a mess, and clutching a new Shonen Jump issue.
"Eita?" He asked.
Semi couldn't do this. He didn't know how.
He—
"Are you alright?" A straight up question this time. No hint of the guess monster, or even the Tendo Satori most of the team recognized. It scared him. Semi tried to each for his normal mantra, but he found it got stuck in his throat.
"I— no."
Tendo nodded, like he understood. "Would you like to come in, Eita?"
Semi was surprised to find that, yes, he did, so he followed his teammate into the room, hands still shaking.
They both sat down on the bed, and all of a sudden Semi was enveloped in a warm hug. The lanky middle blocker held him tightly, and somehow it was just what he needed.
In that moment, Semi Eita finally broke down. He cried into Tendo's shoulder, and the latter rubbed his back as he did so.
After a few minutes, when Semi had calmed down a bit, Tendo spoke.
"Tell me what's going through your head, Eita."
"I don't know how to."
"That okay," Tendo said, "you don't have to. But you're welcome to stick around till morning." He paused and added wryly, "we're practically there at this point, anyways."
"Thanks." Shame began to blossom in Semi's chest. He'd interrupted Tendo's night, and at 2am no less. And he'd cried on the middle blocker's shoulder. For once, he was vulnerable, and Semi Eita did not like being vulnerable.
"Hey, look. I'm really sorry about this whole thing. I just didn't really know what to do." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I swear, I'm going crazy."
Tendo tilted his head and peered at him. "No, I don't think so. Besides, even if you were, I think we're all a bit crazy sometimes. Don't sweat it Semisemi, and don't apologize."
There it was. That infernal nickname again. Somehow though, this time he didn't mind.

A few hours later, though Semi was sleeping at the time, Ushijima entered the room to fetch Tendo for practice. He took one look at the middle blocker, strewn haphazardly across the bed, and Semi, awkwardly sprawled out on the sofa, before turning around and heading back out. He didn't know why, but he got the feeling that they both needed the sleep.

Hellooooo, I'm back. Sorry it's been so long! And my time estimate for when this would be updated on my board wasn't write either. Yikes. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter. It may be a little bit cheesy at some points, but it's my story so that means I have executive control and you guys get to suffer ;) It's a crime that Semi has had so little story time so far, so here he is. Unfortunately, he got stuck with some of my projected stuff, so poor Semi. Anyways, I hope you enjoy the update. Stay safe everyone! And for those of you who actually read these little notes at the bottom, I am impressed and you are amazing.
~lunxpop