So it goes [Breakable Heaven #1]

21. Not yet

"Is that a hickey?"

As soon as Giselle speaks I blush and curse under my breath. I forgot to cover the mark Leticia had left me two nights before. Dammit!

My colleague takes my reaction as confirmation, and she squeals.

"It is! Someone had an interesting weekend... tell me all about it!"

"Yes, Sasha," I hear Rory's voice coming from behind me, as she enters the break room. "Tell us all about it."

I turn around and see her leaning against the wall, her arms crossed against her chest, and the look on her face tells me she definitely doesn't want to hear anything about my interesting weekend. This is exactly why I decide to spill the beans: she's jealous, and she has no right to be.

"Oh, I met a girl at the Noveccento and we hit off, so we went back to my place and... well, you know. It was good fun." My eyes meet Rory's when I add: "I think I'm gonna see her again."

"Good for you," she spits, sounding a little pissed off, then she grabs a book and leaves.

"What is wrong with her?" Giselle asks, confused.

"You know what, Giselle? I absolutely have no idea," I lie. I know exactly what's wrong, I just don't understand the reason for such behavior. I know that, eventually, we will have to talk about it, all of it - the flirting, the teasing, the jealousy - but now is not the time. I have to go back to work, and I have quite an intense day ahead of me.

The whole time I am in my classroom, I can feel Rory's stare on me, as if she wanted to burn holes in my skin with her eyes. I have to fight against all my instincts not to look up, because I know that if I did, I would probably forget about the lesson and march into her classroom to demand an explanation for her reaction, for her behavior of the past weeks. But I can't, not now. There will be a time for that, and now is not it.

As the day progresses, the tension between us abates, and by late afternoon we're back to chatting as we always do, as if nothing happened.

That night we're hosting an event at school, some sort of job interview crash course, and Rory is in charge of it. I still have my regular lesson, and when we go out back for a cigarette I find myself classroom-less, as mine is needed for the event.

"I am classroom-less," I whine. "Can I just go home, then?"

"You wish," Rory chuckles. "You can stay in mine, I won't need it. It's too small for the big group we're expected to have."

"Really?" I exclaim, surprised. Rory is extremely territorial with her classroom, she was the first teacher to claim one for herself back when we all used to rotate. She rarely lets anyone use it.

"Sure," she confirms. "You should feel honored, you know? It's like letting you in my bedroom."

Here we are again, with the flirting and the teasing.

"Mmm, is that an invitation?"

At first, she looks confused, then she thinks about it and she gets it. Her face becomes a soft shade of red, and I realize she had no idea what she was suggesting with her sentence. It wasn't intended, at least not this time. Oh, well...

"What? No! I mean, no... not yet..."

She's really flustered, so I should probably back down. I don't, though, as I remember how much she enjoyed seeing me sweating when she oh-so-innocently claimed she was super flexible. All's fair in love and war... well, in this case, in sex and war.

"Not yet, uh? Well, when you decide it's time, I suggest you take a few days off work, because I promise you, Rory, the moment you let me into your bedroom you won't be able to walk for at least forty-eight hours!"

She takes a deep breath and she subtly runs her tongue along her lips. She's interested. Bingo!

"I really should go back inside now, but thanks for offering your classroom. I'll move my stuff as soon as I go to the restroom."

Once again I walk away really proud of myself and my teasing skills. I know this won't change anything, but a flustered Rory Davila certainly is a vision and I have thoroughly enjoyed it.

I am almost humming while I am peeing, washing my hands, and checking my make-up, but the humming stops the moment I open the door and I find Rory standing in front of me, looking like she has been waiting for me to come out.

It takes me all but a look at her face to understand that there's something different this time, that she's not just teasing or flirting or joking or whatever she has been doing lately, but that she means business this time. For this reason, when I open my mouth to speak my voice comes out low and almost trembling.

"Rory..."

She doesn't say anything, she just places a hand against my chest and pushes me back into the stall and against the sink, while simultaneously closing the door behind her, then her lips are on mine and all coherent thoughts flee from my mind. She's kissing me. Rory is kissing me.

Her lips move softly on mine and her tongue is slowly exploring my mouth, touching mine ever so slightly, as if the teasing game wasn't over yet, as if she wanted to keep driving me crazy and not giving me what I want the most. Because I want this. Her. I want her so much I feel my body aching to touch her, to have her even closer than she already is. I don't even care that there are dozens of people just outside these doors, waiting for us to start our lessons. In this moment all I care about is Rory's taste and the feeling of her hair in my fingers and her back against my hand. She feels so good, even better than I have imagined all these months. That's probably why I let out a soft moan without even realizing I'm doing it.

That's when she stops. The sound coming from my mouth has brought her back to reality, and she jumps back to put distance between us, panic visibly crossing her face.

"Fuck," she swears under her breath, then runs out of the restroom, without giving me time to say a word, or to try to hold her, to make her stay.

I fall back against the sink, I'm not sure my legs are able to support me right now. I know I have a lesson to start, I know I should get out of that damn restroom and back to my job, but how can I after that kiss? I am still trying to breathe normally again, I can't teach or even form a thought that isn't the feeling of Rory's lips on mine and her body against me. I cannot go back out there, see her without wanting to grab her waist and kiss her until we both have no air in our lungs. I can't.

I take a little time to get a grip, and when I feel like I can at least support my own weight I open the door again and go back to work, wearing my best poker face so that Rory doesn't understand how much our kiss has unsettled me.

We'll have to talk about it, that's for sure, but for now, I need to get my head back in the game and be professional. I have to get through these last two hours, but I know it's going to be impossible not to have flashes of that breathtaking kiss invading my mind. It's a lost cause. Lost from the start. I am gay and I am weak, and Rory has definitely done a number on me this time. I don't stand a chance.